It's Before 10:00 Somewhere!

Doesn't 10:00 AM on the work schedule mean that's when you are supposed to wake up?

Oops....it doesn't?

Shit! Well, maybe they'll buy that I was going by Pacific Time!

I Want To Join the Bad Example Clan Because

The Blogosphere's Pickiest Eater Contest

(It only sounds dirty!) ;-)

Over at Ogre's he had a picture of his lunch that made me want to throw up.

In the comments, someone challenged me of my title of the World's Pickiest Eater. Echo Zoe thinks he is...but I beg to differ.

Seriously, those that know me, speak up how big of a pain it is to go out to eat or make something to eat with me.

Just a short list of stuff I will absolutely not eat, whether I can taste it or not:

Mayonnaise
Mustard
Ketchup (except I will sometimes dip my french fries in it if it's cold)
Any type of Salad Dressing
Oil
Vinegar
Sour Cream
Cream Cheese
Any odd types of cheeses (other than Cheddar, American, Monterey Jack, Mozzarella, etc)
Ricotta will make me throw up (just ask my 1st boyfriend's parents!)

It is probably easier to list the vegetables I WILL eat vs. the one's I won't:

Lettuce
Tomatoes
Cucumbers
Onions
Corn (is that a vegetable?)
Potatoes (same question!)

Fruits? I may be a little more adventurous here:

Golden or Fuji Apples (that's it)
Green or Red seedless grapes
Seedless Watermelon (no seeds!)
Tangerines
Strawberries
Raspberries

I don't eat ANY seafood. Nada! Gross!

I don't like common foods such as:

Buffalo Wings
Cheese Cake
Strawberry Ice Cream
Coffee Flavored Stuff
Banana Flavored Stuff
Cherry Flavored Stuff
Any type of nuts
Sour Cream and Onion Chips
Salt and Vinegar Chips
Ranch Chips
Corn beef
Beans
Guacamole
Eggs (unless they are scrambled hard with cheese)

And there are so many more that I cannot even think of! I'm sure others that know me will chime in!

So, if Echo Zoe is in fact pickier than I am, he must be hooked up to an IV and a rail!

My Father's Daughters are Weird!

I grew up listening to The Unicorn by The Irish Rovers, Snoopy vs. The Red Baron by The Royal Guardsmen, The Partridge Family Greatest Hits, Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley, Tom Dooley by The Kingston Trio, This Land Is Your Land by Woody Guthrie, and many others I can't remember.

Well, my dad has warped my little 8 year old sister too!

We were in my dad's truck last week where the following conversation took place:

Sis: Sissy, have you heard the Little Willie Song?

Me: No

Sis: It goes like, (singing)

"Little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy round
Willy won't go, try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't go home"

Me: Nope, haven't heard it.

Sis: Daaaaadddd, will you play Sissy the Little Willy (by Sweet)

Afterward...

Sis: Did you like it?

Me: Yes, it sounds familiar.

Sis: How about the Rollerskate song?

Me: Nope

Sis: It goes like, (singing)

"I rode my bicycle past your window last night
I roller-skated to your door at daylight"

Me: Nope

Sis: Daaaadddd, can you play Sissy the Rollerskate song?? (which is actually Brand New Key by Melanie)

Afterward...

Sis: Did you like it?

Me: Yes

Yes, my sister knew EVERY word to each of these songs.

Later, we went through the same conversation with her 7 year old friend in the truck.

So tonight, when I went to Wal-Mart, what did I buy? Rock n' Roll of the 70's 4 CD set....which included....Brand New Key and Little Willy!

We are warped children! :-)

What I've Learned in Yuma

The population in Yuma triples from October until March thanks to Snowbirds.

So does the number of car accidents.

So does the sales of Milwaukee’s Best.

Snowbirds also like to buy their vehicles without gas pedals.

It must be cheaper.

There is such thing as being too nice.

And some people don't appreciate it.

And then there are those that take advantage of it.

And since there is nothing to do in Yuma except drink...

...you get to meet everyone in Yuma at their finest!

Stoplights must come in different languages.

That's the only explanation I have for people driving over from Mexico and not obeying them.

Drug manufacturers have some sort of deal with the government.

Every time my allergies feel like they are getting better, jets are flown over the crop fields and I have to go refill my damn prescriptions.

And I may be dying a slow miserable death.

Allergy medications (pills and nose spray) give me massive multiple nose bleeds.

I'm not sure I can think of much worse than bleeding to death slowly while in Yuma!

At that, my dear readers, is enough to motivate me to get the hell out of here!

Let the job and house hunt back to the east commence!

I don't have to find a home but I'm sure as hell not staying here!

Gay to Straight in Two!

Conversation at work yesterday:

Guy: You are so great! (hugging his assistant manager from behind)

AM: Get off of me! Come back when you are straight.

Guy: All it takes is 2 Forties and I'm as straight as they come.

Hmmm...is that all it takes???

Proud of the Fart Ninja

A few days ago, blogson Spurs posted here the following:

Here is the quote of the week from the house of Spurs and Napster - guess who said it....

"Why would I get out of a perfectly warm bed just to fart in a cold bathroom?"

You must check out the comments, very funny!

But then there is a follow up from the Fart Ninja herself!

What I got out of it was that you know you are with the right one when you can fart in front of them.....

...maybe that's why I'm single??

40,000

So I hit 40,000 visitors today...by someone searching for a Wal-Mart in Ft. Drum. I was on the 7th page of his search. Not quite sure why my site looked like it might have information on Wal-Mart at some Ft Drum.

I was hoping to hit 50,000 on my 1 year blog anniversary in 22 days (Feb 15th). Unless I start giving away tickets to the Superbowl, posting pictures from our past Bad Example comment parties, or put up a virtual bar....I don't see that one happening.

But that gives me the excuse for two celebrations...one for my blog birthday and one for hitting 50,000. Good times!

Adopting a Teenager

My dad and stepmom were married when I was 12...which would make them 30. This was my stepmom's first marriage.

A year after they were married, I decided I wanted to move in with them. I was 13, they were practically still newlyweds.

Who would ever think they would skip ages newborn to 12 and have a 13 year old. She chauffeured, she volunteered, she attended concerts and events, parent meetings, checked homework, was my go between with my dad when it came to boys and bad grades. A bratty teenager that she didn't know 2 years ago, and she took me in like her own.

The next year, they were stationed in Congo, Africa and I went to live with my mom for 2 1/2 years. Once they got back, I promptly was put on a plane from NC to CA to be with them.

Once again, she took me in as her own. She was president of the Band Boosters, volunteered or made something for every event, club, came to every fundraiser, took me shopping for every dance, and supported me in every way.

Now, I may not live with them, but she still treats me like her own. We talk every few days, she asks when I'm going to visit, and always reminds me she loves me.

I was reminded how lucky I was when I went to Phoenix to say goodbye while the packers were getting them ready for their move to Kentucky. I went to my little sister's school with my stepmom (as she does the same things for my little sister (actually her daughter) where she volunteers almost daily. Each person she introduced me to, she would say, "This is my daughter". Not my stepdaughter, not my husband’s daughter, not Sis#2's big sister....but her daughter.

Although she is the same age as my father and could realistically have had me, everyone thinks we are sisters and that I am Sis#2's mom.

She knew my father had 2 daughters when she married him. But did she have any idea what she would be getting herself into? I don't know, but I'm glad she did! I am a lucky woman!

In Fours

It was apparent to Songstress that I was in need of something to post. How nice of her to tag me with this meme!

Four Jobs I've Had in My Life:

Trainer and Manager for a Telecommunications company

Electronics Product Specialist for MCCS

Front Desk Clerk/Night Auditor for a motel

Sandwich Artist at Subway

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over, and Have:

Mary Poppins

Beaches

A League of Their Own

Van Wilder

Four Places I Have Lived:(Let's change this to places I have lived in the past 4 years...ya know, just for fun!)

Yuma, AZ

Columbia, SC

Wilmington, NC

New Bern, NC

Twentynine Palms, CA

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:

Law & Order SVU

ER

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Celebrity Texas Hold 'Em

Four Places I Have Been on Vacation:

Las Vegas, NV

Chicago, Illinois

Phoenix, AZ

Several different cities in Europe...10 years ago...can't remember the names :-(

Four Websites I Visit Daily:

Hotmail

My Bank

Yahoo News

My work's intranet ;-)

Four Favorite Foods:

Mashed Potatoes

Corn

Macaroni & Cheese

White Rice

(preferably all in the same meal so I can go into carb/starch-coma)

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

Geneva, Switzerland

San Diego, CA

New York City (to visit)

Anywhere but the hell that is Yuma

Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:

Spurs & Napster at Pull My Finger

Bou at Boudicca's Voice

T1G at Drunken Wisdom

ArmyWife at ArmyWifeToddlerMom

Ok...this post should hopefully last me another week! :-P

An RV is Not a Bad Idea!

Instead of buying a house, Spurs thinks I should buy and RV.

He's right!

I've been in Yuma 3 months now and am already looking to leave. Hey, I've beat my record...the shortest time I've stayed in one place is 3 months.

Due to the upcoming acquisition, my contract to stay with the company for a year due to reimbursement for school and my relocations is null and void.

Anyone remember the big reason for me coming out here? My dad, stepmom and little sister live in Phoenix, only 3 short hours away. Well, dad got a great job offer from a great company in some small ass town of Kentucky. Has Harvey done his Facts of Kentucky yet??

Anyways, that leaves me 2000-3000 miles away from all of my family. It's been that way before...but I don't want it to be that way again.

So, I have posted my resume on Monster, Hot Jobs, and Career Builder. I'm submitting it for every job that looks semi-tolerable.

I'm looking at the Atlanta area...it would be 6 hours from my dad and 5 hours from my mom. I think that's a nice central location. However, I have expanded my search into NC, SC, and TN. I've even considered Chicago if the job was good enough.

There is a chance of moving with my current company, but I want out of retail. I'm more of a babysitter than a manager. I feel like the damn policy nazi. Hiring in Yuma is a bitch (since I've let go of 2 people since I've been here and am working on my 3rd)... I'm bored. I don't know what I was thinking going back....yea, my stores are doing well....but I'm bored and unmotivated! And that's a bad place to be in Yuma! Yuma blows!

Yes, I may be a little bitter about Yuma because of telling the bipolic to fuck off, or it may be the snow birds, or the people that get mad at me because I do not speak Spanish, or the fact that there is nothing to do in Yuma except drink, or that the only guys here to date are Marines or don't speak English, or that I'm tired of living in a cave of a house and sharing a bathroom with what seems like 6 four year olds.

So I'm sure I could get a good deal on an RV as there are more RV lots here thanks to winter visitors than there are car lots!

Luckily, all my stuff is still in storage and should be semi-easy to load back into a moving truck. Except this time I'll be doing it on my own!

Hey! It's Something...

You Have a Phlegmatic Temperament

Mild mannered and laid back, you take life at a slow pace. You are very consistent - both in emotions and actions. You tend to absorb set backs easily. You are cool and collected. It is difficult to offend you. You can remain composed and unemotional. You are a great friend and lover. You don't demand much of others. While you are quiet, you have a subtle wit that your friends know well. At your worst, you are lazy and unwilling to work at anything. You often get stuck in a rut, without aspirations or dreams. You can get too dependent on others, setting yourself up for abandonment.

Thanks Ma!

Trying to Avoid Naked Blog

My blog has been a bit scandelous lately...trying to get readers by being naked.

Notice how it decreases my visits! ;-)

Blogging has unforunately taken a backseat to other things. That could be good, that could be bad.

And honestly, I don't have much blog fodder. But, for those of you that use this as a source to keep up with me, I will do a quick, fast and in a hurry update.