Day 3 of Vacation

Just FYI...I won't be capturing EVERYDAY of my vacation on here. Just those that I find semi-interesting.

I think my mom hired a hit on me! She sent my sister and me to get massages yesterday. She paid. I got the shit beat out of me. I am sore as hell! I feel like this woman broke some ribs! The center of my back hurts to the touch...like a sunburn. And I've been sleeping on the couch, so there is just no way to be comfortable until this pain goes away!

This morning, aroud 6:30am, my mom wakes me up to see if I want to go to the casino with her to play some 2 cent slots.

We headed to the casino in Joilet. Let me tell you, people take this stuff seriously. The place was FILLED with old people. With their diamond members cards on a leash hooked to their body, coupons for extra credits, a map of the casino. I swear!

I went in with $93. Just money left over from my drive up here that I didn't end up spending. So I start by sticking a $20 in this Dream of Jeannie (sp) machine. Within about 45 minutes. I was up $80. Off of just $20. Normally, I would have just stopped and been happy; but when mom comes to play, she comes to play for hours. I can't sit there for hours and not do anything. So I kept playing.

Let me throw a little side note in here...whenever the picture of the Jeannie in a bottle landed, she would say YES! If you get 3 adjacent, it sounds more like

So needless to say, whenever I hit the bonus, it sounded like my machine was having an orgasm. Just dandy!

$93 went away quickly. I went to the ATM, pulled out $140, NOT planning on playing it all. I knew I would need some cash for other things and figured I'd save on ATM fees. Hmmm...that was all gone in no time. Meanwhile, mom is playing on the same machine the whole time. So I come and sit next to her to watch. She slipped me about $80 worth of 20's here and there. I'm sure so I would stop staring at her and she could continue playing in peace. So I lost that too. I would then continue to people watch. Got some great people watching done. People have their rituals on these machines. Tapping the screen, hitting the buttons, standing, using their card for a certain amount of time, cashing out and putting it back in, hold certain lucky items.

But my favorite person of all, was a woman that was sitting at a machine doing all of the above, drinking some kind of cocktail, smoking a cigarette and wearing a What Would Jesus Do lanyard that held her casino card. That gave me a great 10-15 minutes of humor to actually consider, what Jesus would do in a casino. Many scenarios came from that 10-15 minutes.

So I lost $233 and she lost right under $300. But, she had like $100 worth of points on her little player card. So we went to the gift shop and wasted it all on crap! (she won't be able to use it in the future because they are moving) We bought Marine Corps coasters, more coasters with our last initial on them, 2-3 umbrellas, candy to bring home to my sister and stepdad, some drinks for the ride home. It was like cashing in the tickets at Chucky Cheese - aasking the guy, "how much more do we have to spend?"

We came back, played a little more softball outside - it was gorgeous out. Sis#1 started doing cartwheels. Then we started talking about round offs and square offs. She wasn't getting the concept...so I decided to show her. Hmmm...mistake. Those muscles haven't been used in, uh, hmmm, many many years. But I did them! Then it was mom's turn. Nothing better than to see your 41 year old mother out in the grass attempting a cartwheel. Her attempt was successful, sort of. And by successful, I mean there were no broken bones and no trips to the emergency room.

Then it was time for some Texas Hold 'Em for Dummies. We all know how to play, and whenever my uncle comes up (like this weekend), we play big - and for money! My uncle is usually the King....but we've all taken him once or twice. As a joke, for my mom's birthday, I bought her these Texas Hold 'Em for Dummies Cards. It basically has some notes on the front of the playing card on what you should be looking for and how likely your hand is good or not. We all had to practice before my uncle gets here!

I'm going to need a week to recover from my 2-week vacation if it keeps going like this. I feel beat up and it's only Day 3! Tomorrow is just a little shopping and going to a White Sox game...so let's hope for no abuse!

Karnival of Kidz #6

All I can say is Wow! I better not host this Karnival anymore. Talk about wanting to love on some babies after seeing these pictures and reading these stories! My little sister doesn't even know what's coming next week when I visit her. She's getting extra smooches!!

Suzie at Practical Penumbra has an adorable picture of her youngest niece. Is she a magician? Is she singing show tunes? Go on over and caption the picture.

My Blog Mom Bou, at Boudicca's Voice has a picture of her best friend's little boy - possibly the most smoochable baby ever! He's about to have a smoochfest from Bou's clan of smoochable kids!

Amy at Prochein Amy captured the excitement of her youngest when she got her first bike for her birthday. Happy Birthday!!

Blog Grandpa Harvey, at Bad Example gives us a small history lesson in the Age of Shoe-Shaped Toys Made From Wood. I bet he caused some damage with these! :-)

With seven children, Headmistress at The Common Room should write a book of the things her kids have said.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom has another smoochable baby picture of her little Pink Ninja learning to crawl. ArmyWife hasn't sat down since!

Iowa Geeks treat their daughter like a Princess. Even going to the extent of buying her a castle!

And so that Iowa Geeks are not to be the only 'geeks', here is VW Bug's boys at the computer.

Don't forget to check out the new Karnival of the Kidz page for past Karnival of Kidz entries and more information on hosting!

Black Eyes - Karnival of Kidz

Yesterday, we went outside to play softball. I was pitching and my mom hit one - a line drive into my knee. Nice little bump there. This reminded me of my last black eye...and then my other black eyes. So I believe it's time to share...

When we first moved to Okinawa, I was playing in the playroom of the hotel and a kid threw a big plastic block at me! Jerk!

Dad was pushing me up in the air with his feet, and I fell and hit the head of the bed. Which resulted in....

Black Eye #2 while in the hotel. And yes, that is old school Jiffy Pop!

And then my last and final black eye was when I was 14, getting ready to go out on on a date with my at the time boyfriend. We were outside playing baseball, waiting for him. My stepdad pitched the ball, it was inside but I hit at it anyway and it bounced off the bat and hit me in the eye. My date showed up about 15 minutes later...right in time for it to be a nice shiner!!

Day 2 of Vacation

Today we went to Chicago's Second City. It's a comedy house that hosts different types of comedy acts. Mainly skits, improv, etc. It was hilarious!! I would have probably had more fun if I wasn't sitting there with my mother and my 16 year old sister, as some of the humor was a little on the risque side...but it was still hilarious.

If ever in Chicago, you must check this place out! Six actors/comedians/singers that had great expressions and just wonderful control of the audience. Great show!

We then went out to eat at Yardhouse. My family would have been just as happy and paid a lot less at Applebee's or TGI Fridays. I, for one, thought it was great! They tend to stick to things they know and like; where I, on the other hand, like to try new things...most of the time...and if not, Morrigan makes me!

But for you guys, they do serve a Yard of Beer - 48oz of your beer of choice!. I shit you not!

After this, Sis #1 and I went to get a massage. Mine wasn't all that great, they just did a cheap job! They didn't speak English....they were Swedish. I was sore from playing baseball, driving for 12 hours and my week of workout hell...so maybe I was a little tender, but she hurt me. When she got to my lower back, I thought I was going to jump off the table.

And since she didn't understand English, when I turned over on my back, I told her I had a bruise on my knee (from the softball)...and she went ahead and massaged it. I'm ill just thinking about it! Overall, she just wasn't very detailed. There were not hot stones, heating pads or hot towels, she missed some places and it overall just didn't make me feel better.

But they do have a steam shower which was nice. I turned that sucker on high and turned the steamer on....I could have slept there!

And that's about it for Day 2. We have tons of stuff planned for this week, so stay tuned!

Word of the Week #6

Linky Lovin' V

Zaftig was this week's Word of the Week.

I knew this word would be easy to use as Bou, VW, Amy and I are all still fighting our zaftigness.

And Bou did not dissapoint. She thinks she's zaftig and not svelte on this week's Competition report.

Contagion was putting a complicated toy together that needed muscles and realized his wife, who definitely does not have a zaftig build, was not as much help as he would have liked.

David tells the story of Kermit the Frog anticipating his zaftig date. Funny story!

Aris_Ravencroft used it one last time before he leaves for Boot Camp, in the comments. He mentions he was once zaftig and now, after 13 weeks, is not and heading to be Marine fit. Good luck!!

Little Joe writes a great filthy lie AND uses the Word of the Week in Evil Glenn vs. Writers Block - Filthy Lie.

And Mark let's us know in the comments that in German, zaftig means "juicy". Don't let Harvey get a hold of this word!

I haven't been able to keep up with the blogroll as much this week due to my vacation and connecting to the blogosphere via a Sprint PCS Connection Card...faster than my mom's computer and she HAS cable internet. Why do I get the feeling I will be fixing her computer while I'm here?

So, if I missed your use of the Word of the Week, leave your link in the comments and I'll make sure it's posted!

Day 1 of Vacation

Day 1 was mostly catching up on sleep! A 12 hour drive in the middle of the night will do that to you.

However, when I woke up about noon, we went outside and played some softball. My parents live on base housing and their backyard is seperated by a fence from a warehouse and a big field. So we were batting to where are balls would go out into the field.

We made Sis #1's ex-boyfriend go out in the field of dreams...practically, the grass was up to his waist! He had to chase the balls out there. This was just more motivation for us to hit them out there!

I haven't swung a bat in 10 years. Damn am I sore now! I mean, parts of me that haven't been used...well, ever! My right forearm is even sore...how sad!

I did a little pitching. I pitched to my stepdad first as he knew which ones to hit as to not hit me!

Mom....not so much. Line drive into the knee! Big ole goose egg!

After softball, it was time for Taboo...a favorite board game of the family. I hate to brag (wait, no I don't!) but I always win. Not matter who my partner is...I always win!!

After that, mom made one of my many favorite meals of hers, Taco Rice. I'll have to put this in for the Carnival of Recipes; so easy yet so good! As we ate, we watched Phantom of the Opera, which I loved! If you see it, make sure you have enough time, patience and prior sleep to sit through the whole thing...but it is well worth it.

And that was it for Day 1...not a bad start if I say so myself!

Quick Note - I Made It

Man, I still feel like I'm moving!! I left Columbia around 8:45pm my time and everything was great. No traffic, good weather, I was awake and making great time! I have always preferred to drive at night.

I got here this morning at about 8:30am Chicago Time. I would have made it about an hour sooner, but the last 150 miles of the trip, I was really starting to feel it! So I stopped quite a bit to use the restroom, get out and stretch, get out in the cold to wake me up.

I made the mistake of wearing shorts and a tanktop up here! It started to get a lot colder the further north I got. Plus, people looked at me stupid when I stopped to get gas.

So, I slept about 3 hours when I got here. Not nearly enough, but there will be more time for that.

A good, uneventful trip! Yay!

Can't Sleep....Leaving Now

So my plan didn't work out as well as I thought. I didn't go to bed this morning until about 3:30 and got up at 7am. Then I came home and went to bed at 5:30pm and woke up at 8pm.

I'm just going to go! I can't sit here and anticipate a 800 mile drive. Worst case scenario, I stop and get a hotel room for a couple of hours for a quick nap.

The truck is packed up, I've got my music, I've got my gummy lifesavers (great travel food!) and my diet mountain dew, a couple sugar free red bulls, and Kiki is very ready to go. She already jumped up in the truck when I was loading it.

*Crossing fingers for good weather and no Memorial Day idiots on the road*

*Crossing fingers again for no tickets!*

A Baby Boy is Born

Born and kicked out of the house!

Spurs found a great place at Pull My Finger. *Sniffle-tear* I'm so proud!

Spurs conned Napster into creating the place and putting all the cool stuff on there. So the place will still be in the middle of renovation this weekend, but he will now be living out of his own home!

He's even done some cat blogging already - with pictures! And Haloscan is coming this weekend! My son is special!

So go welcome him like the rowdy Bad Example Family & Neighbors you are!

Happy Birthday Machelle

Let me just say...I'll go birthday shopping for you ANY DAY! It was very fun!

I hope you have a wonderful birthday; or at least better than it's already been.

Waaaahhhhhh!!!

Jeez Louise!! Can't a baby go full term around here.
The new site is up. She ain't pretty. I think the term spartan would probably be suitable but she's all mine and with some help I intend to fix er' up.
Thanks sissy for the push. Ha! Get it? Push...baby I kill me.

Spurs

Drum Roll Please....

I got measured at Curves this morning. April 1st, I set a goal for myself to lose 2 sizes and to basically fit a good workout routine and better eating into my everyday life.

I was first measured 3/30/05. I had a great first month! My 2nd month (this month) kinda sucked! I was out of town for two weeks which meant no Curves (too much work to do) and a lot of fast food! Then I fell off the wagon for about 5 days eating crap food like Taco Bell, McDonalds and eating out with the girls from work. Errrrr

So, here's what they told me this morning...

Bust: -1.75 :-( The least place I wanted to lose it!

Waist: -2.50

Abdomen: -2.75

Hips: -1.75

Thighs: -4.50 (combined -2.25 each)

Calves: -0.50 (combined -.25 each)

Arms: -.050 (combined -.25 each)

Weight: -7.60 pounds

Total Inches: -14.25

Total Body Fat Pounds: -11.03

Body Fat Percentage: -3.00% (although according to my scale at home, this is more like -6.00%)

I have lost about a size and a half. Not my goal, but close enought to keep me satisfied and for me to feel a difference in my clothes and buy 1 size smaller tops for the summer! :-)

I only drink water now...no soda. I was pretty good at that before but have made it absolute (not absolut :-) ). I've decreased my alcohol intake...damn empty calories. The last time I had a drink was a month ago and it was a Martini..and that's it.

I get full a lot faster now! I notice I'm leaving a lot more on my plate when I do eat out, and my stomach is letting me know if I'm eating something not-so-good.

Curves gave me a travel pass so I could keep going for the next 2 weeks...and I will! My goal is not to gain any weight during my vacation. Let's see if I can do it!

Sissy's Gotta Plan

1 Day until vacation and so much to do!! So here's the plan...

Tonight, I do laundry, clean up (don't want stinky trash stinkin' up over 2 weeks), and pack. I will be going to bed quite late tonight or maybe not even at all. But for a reason...

Go to Curves at 6am to do my monthly measurements and tan. I won't be working out as I need to let my muscles rest. Then I've got to go and get the oil changed in my truck.

I'll go to work and get my project done that I've been procrastinating all week. After my conference call at 1pm, I'm taking Tylenol PM, going straight home and going to bed.

I'll wake up when I wake up...I'm assuming between 12am and 2am and start my drive to Chicago.

It's about 830 miles. I'm thinking about 12 hours. We'll see.

I've got CDs, XM Radio and my phone to keep me company! It'll be a piece of cake!

A week in Chicago to spend time with my mom, Sis #1 (16), stepdad, uncle, aunt and 2 cousins, attend Sis #1's high school graduation, meet some of the Bad Example Family, see a couple baseball games, see Dave Matthews Band, do some touristy Chicago stuff, and take all my uncle's money when we play Texas Hold 'Em!

Then it's off to Phoenix to see my dad, stepmom and Sis #2 (7). Swealtering in the Phoenix sun, hopefully catch a Diamondbacks game, get some great Mexican food and spend tons of time in the pool!!

Then it's back to Chicago on Saturday to drive back to SC on Sunday. I'm hoping after 2 weeks away from work, I can come back and not feel so postal!

I may be taking a vacation, but not from blogging. I have a BIG announcement this weekend, the Word of the Week and it's Linky Lovin', I have the Karnival of Kidz on Monday, and plus anything else fun!

Movie Meme

My rotten, unborn blog son, Spurs tagged me for the Movie Meme. He's grounded as soon as he's born! I swear, I'm inducing labor this weekend!

1. Number of DVD's that I own:
30

2. Last CD I bought:
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

3. Last DVD I watched:
Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

4. 5 movies that I watch a lot or mean a lot to mean:
Van Wilder
Senseless
Stepmom
What Dreams May Come
Beaches

5. Tag 5 others

I think most of the people I know have been tagged with this thing so I'm going to go ahead and end it. But feel free to leave some of your frequently watched DVD's in the comments.

I got meme'd and it stung a little

Bou tagged me for the Movie Meme and I'm not sure if I'm honored or perturbed. Since I'm the new kid in class and a certain amount of hazing is to be expected, I'll go with honored. Thankey Mrs. Bou!!
Here we go folks.

1. Number of DVD's that I own:
I currently have 78 DVD's in my library. This however is a new thing. I've only recently begun to collect CD's, having decided that it's cheaper to buy than to actually go to the movie theater. Much like Bou, I prefer books, but when I want to watch a movie I'd rather not shell out $10.50 a ticket and have to sit behind some ass-bean who's talking throughout the whole movie. And I make better popcorn.

2. Last DVD I bought:
Not too sure on this one. I think it was the HBO series Deadwood the first season.

3. Last DVD I watched:
Hmmmmm...Oh yeah, Alien vs. Predator. Don't snicker, it didn't suck.
On a sidenote Bou, I love the movie Sandlot. I had a Mastiff named Bacchus and that 210 lb. lap dog could put 8 baseballs and 1 softball in his mouth a one time. Of course you didn't want to play with them after they came out of the slobber factory.

4. 5 movies that I watch a lot or mean a lot to mean:
Again, I'm mainly a book guy but these are a few faves:
Trainspotting
Office Space
The Outlaw Josey Wales
Swingers
Snatch
Grease
True Grit
Saturday Night Fever
Super Troopers
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
The Perfect Storm
Casino
Leaving Las Vegas
Raising Arizona
Animal House
Blues Brothers - ...."It's dark and we're wearing sunglasses, Hit It"
The Last Samuri
Biloxi Blues
OK, that's more than 5 but I've never liked being confined to the norm.

5. Tag 5 others
Sissy - she's me mum
Contagion - cause he wants to be tagged
David - just cause I'm interested
Harvey - cause I don't know anybody else and I think we're related.
Ogre - again, just cause I'm curious.....ooops he's already been tagged
Sarah - cause I like penguins

I'm not sure of the protocol on this stuff so any coaching/constructive criticism is appreciated.

Spurs

One last blast before I split

You’re going to have to stay with me on this one. The route is circuitous but we’ll get there, I promise.
I hate to shop for clothes. There are many other things that I don’t mind shopping for such as groceries, alcohol, cars, music, ammunition et al. You get the picture.

Shopping for clothes however, is one of those things that I will put off until the bitter end. And I mean the B-I-T-T-E-R end. I love my underwear with holes in them. I don’t mind the occasional stain on a t-shirt. I think it gives them character. I have a Carolina shirt circa 1986 that I still wear religiously. And by religious, I mean that Napster prays for me not to wear this shirt.

This could be why I usually go with one particular brand of clothing for work/play. I know what size I need with these guys and what will and will not look good given my meso/endomorphic body type. Plus they last a long time and that’s a cool with me since I don’t like to shop.

If I have to purchase something from a different clothing maker, I will try on the clothes because I do NOT want to make a return trip. This is the part I hate the most. I have a story on changing rooms but it'll have to wait until another time. When did they start letting boys and girls in the same fitting room!!??

Now my better half has a completely different view of how to shop. She will go out and bring back sacks of clothing from all different types of makers and will not have tried on the first thing.
Once home, the parade of clothing begins…Does this look good? Does this go with this…Does this look too tight…blabbity, blah blah, blah. I love her, I truly do, but I’m not the person to ask about this sort of thing. The only thing I know is, (A)-Woman looks hot and (B)-Woman does not look hot but don’t say that because you’ll wind up regretting it.

I went shopping one time with Napster and Mo back when we were living in the “Place of a Trillion Peachtree Streets”. We went to some Outlet place and split up. Beavis and Butthead one-way, me the other. Approximately 15 minutes and $500 dollars later, I was done. Approximately 5 or 17 hours later, here come the twins. They were giggling and laughing and just generally yucking it up, while I was ready to shove a ballpoint pen in my eye. I think that after all was said and done, everything they purchased was returned. Shopping for these guys is just an excuse to get things, to take back and go shopping again. That’s cool with me just leave me out of it.

That said, I do like to look nice and would like to experiment with different clothing labels. But I hate looking through all of the different types of clothing and having to try on everything I picked out. Oh the glory days of “Garanamals”. Once you knew your animal, everything slid into place.

Well kiddies, here we are. A company called Intellifit has come up with a solution that I can’t wait to try. You walk into this booth and within minutes it has taken measurements with around 200, 000 points of reference. Then you receive a printout of what brands and sizes would fit you best. All of this happens while you’re still fully clothed. I don’t know if the ladies will like it but all I need is a list and I can fall right into hunter mode.
Ain’t technology cool.

Spurs

Harvey's Love Notes

The single that the new American Idol, Carrie Underwood, will release is, "I Want To Be Inside Your Heaven"

Why do I see this as a future Love Notes post?

I Better Be Careful Who I Flip Off

I can be a very offensive driver. I get very frustrated with people that don't pay attention when they can turn at a light, their speed on the highway, when they take up two lanes on the road.

Yesterday I was pulling out of a shopping center onto a major 4 lane road. The woman in front of me missed 3 opporunities to TURN RIGHT! Turning right is not that difficult. As I'm getting frustrated, someone comes up behind me, and someone turns in from the road and starts beeping. I thought they were beeping at the person behind me...like they knew them or something.

Meanwhile, I'm waving my arms up in the air, cursing the dumb ass in front of me.

Today, I go into work, and the receptionist was like, "You flipped me off yesterday"

Huh? Nah, not me!

She said yes, and asked me where I went yesterday.

Let's see, I went to Kohls, Ross, Goody's, Target...all on this road.

She said she saw me turning out of the Goody's shopping center, and I was turning out she was beeping at me and I flipped her off!

I certainly did not!! I was waving my arms around at the person in front of me.

She doesn't believe me. So I'll never live this down. I flipped off our receptionist! Just Great!

EPT Pro

You may remember, if you've been reading a while, a post I did on a pregnancy scare about two months ago. Probably the funniest post I've had to date.

That's the first thing that came to mind today when a girl at work told me she was having symptoms. She already has a beautiful 18 month old boy. I asked her if she had taken a home pregnancy test and she said yes...she had taken a few.

Well?? What did they say?

They all said mixed things! One was negative, one would be positive, one was mixed (how can it be mixed?) She told me she bought quite a few of them for that reason, from the dollar store?

FROM THE DOLLAR STORE??? What in the world? First of all, why is the dollar store carrying pregnancy tests. What are they made of that they can sell them for a $1. Hell, give me the $1 and I'll tell ya if your pregnant...just as accurate!

So, after taking her out to lunch and to buy our lotto tickets for tonight (our Wed routine), I took her to the drug store to get a REAL test. The one I used before with the last pregnancy scare. Because we all know I'm a pro! ;-)

We came back to work, I again explained how this thing works (EPT should hire me!), and she took it. The girl about fell out when it came up PREGNANT!!! Wooowhooo!!!

Her husband just got back from Iraq about 2 months ago, and they've been wanting another kid, so I'm so very happy for them.

I'm a Mean Mom

I kicked the boy out! Hell, he's in his 30's...it's time for him to move out on his own! I can't support his ass forever! ;-)

I gave Spurs until the weekend to find a place and to leave our old home behind. Luckily, Napster, his wonderful fiance, is great with the technical stuff and can make sure he get's set up. He could do it, I know he could...but why when you have someone that does it so easily!

Go check out how upset he is, his opinion on Jeff Gordon and sports underdogs.

And if you could, go help him pack! :-)

Great Time Waster

Have a little down time. TRY THIS MAZE. It's a pain in the ass to do on a laptop! Very addicting.

Mom's kicking me out

Sissy gave me a ring last night for a little chat and it felt like we were breaking up. Or better yet, it felt like the conversation a parent would have with their 30 yr old who's still living at home. O.K. , it wasn't that bad but I get the hint. I'm off into the wild. Sissy's even going to chip in for my security deposit.

That said, I'm still going to post here for a couple of days.

Richard Cheese, King of the Lounge Singers has a new album. I don't know why, but this guy cracks me up. Stop by and step into the lounge.

NASCAR racing's Jeff Gordon sang "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" at Wrigley Field the other day and good gravy did the crowd ever boo this guy. I haven't heard booing like this since Rosanne Barr butchered the National Anthem in San Diego.
What is it with Gordon that brings out this emotion? I'm what you would call a recreational NASCAR viewer. So I don't live and die with it like I do with the St. Louis Cardinals. But from what I've seen, he's either loved or hated with no real middle ground. Hell, even Napster thinks he's a jack-ass and she really doesn't pay attention when a race is on.
Do you suppose it's because he's won so many times and people like to root for underdogs? Or do you think he's just a tool. Albeit a little tiny one...
I guess you could make the same statements about the "Evil Empire" huh?
I tend to root for the uunderdogs. And having went to USC, boy does that come in handy.

I have a little bitching to do about work but I promised myself that I wouldn't. Maybe later...

Spurs

It'll Happen...Eventually

I had a minor personal epiphany today. Follow me for a moment...

Growing up, we moved a lot - A LOT! I attended 13 schools K-12. Sometimes I would go to 3 different schools in the same school year. I went to 4 different schools for Jr. High and 2 different schools for High School. Needless to say, I was well traveled quite young!

I had a few concerns when moving to a new school. I didn't want to be "the new kid". I wanted to blend. I wanted to fit in with some crowd. The new kid stands out! I didn't want to be the doofy new kid that couldn't find her classroom, who couldn't figure out how to get in her locker, who didn't know which bus to get on, who sat by the wrong person at lunch, who was laughed at for whatever reason.

The more I moved, the harder I tried to fit in at each new location. I changed my music preferences, I'd change my mannerisms...I didn't care, as long as I was blending in. I remember in 2nd and 3rd grade when I started to actually hear other kids swear. I remember thinking how stupid it was. Come 4th grade, guess what I was doing? Yep, that's wear my mouth came from! Well, not totally. I would swear when I was with that group of kids.

Each year I tried harder and harder to fit in. I didn't really start to feel comfortable in school or even like it until 6th grade...when I started band. I was in a group - we all had a common link. Band is what helped moving get easier. Then I started to become good. I made a reputation for myself as this talented musician.

The older I got and the more I moved, I started to branch out. Once I got to high school, I started joining so many extra curricular activities. I joined every club, every sport possible. I held so many titles...it was ridiculous. There would be days that I would get to school an hour early, around 7am, and be there until midnight because of practices, games, and dances. I was always there! My junior year, I had the most pictures in the yearbook. Not because I was popular, because I wasn't...but because I was in so many damn clubs or activities.

Then I went to college, where fitting in was important again. I never wanted to feel alone or left out. I wanted something out of classes to look forward to and have people to count on. It took a few months and a change of dorm room and I finally found it. Other stuff happened to make that year rough....very rough. But without those few that were there, I wouldn't have gotten through it!

After looking back, all that work to fit in...it didn't work; at least not most of the time. I always stood out. I look back at the comments I got on my report cards, the messages I got in my yearbooks, the letters of recommendation I got for college...I always stood out. I always had a reputation for being different. I had made a name for myself. My dad has and does, periodically ask me, "What's the most important thing you have?" The answer? My name!

So what I worked so hard for...for so long, wasn't what I needed now! In the real world, as an adult, you have to stand out! To make it, to be successful, to move forward, to make a difference, to accomplish almost anything, you have to stand out!

I tend to stick out at work because there is a different goal there. The goal isn't for me to fit in and not feel like an outcast...that's what I want...what I need to survive.

But in my world, my personal life, I know I need to throw myself out there more. I've been told this more than once and I'll be hearing this again, I know.

Every once in a while I will, throw myself out there, express an opinion, make conversation...most of those time have been with my partner, Jose Cuervo though.

Usually, at Curves, I'll do my thing, I'll smile and nod my head hi if someone walks by, I'll tell the employees to have a good day. But that's about it. Striking up conversation is not my forte. And usually when I do strike it, it's with sarcasm.

Today, I was doing my workout, and to the right of me was the girl that signed me up for Curves and a new girl trying the place out for the first time. I was listening in to their conversation (I can be quite nosy), and finally, after about 15 minutes of them following me, I started cracking a few jokes. The employee would be explaining a machine, and I would reply with something like, "and that one will make you feel like you have to puke" So as we go around, we continue this back and forth banter...made the work out go much faster!

Afterward, I got in the leg tanner for awhile. I love that thing, I can sit there with my legs in this nice warm machine while still listening to what's going on around me. (You can't hear anything when you are in the tanning booth) I went to sit in a chair to put on my shoes, and the employee and two other women were chatting. Someone had mentioned she had volunteer work to do. I have been looking for volunteer work, but haven't found much around here yet. So I spoke up, yes me...and asked where they were doing volunteer work. They were all excited that someone wanted to volunteer and they had tons of places to suggest. We talked a few minutes about that, I mentioned I was new to the area and we talked about where I moved from and their preferences to live in the country.

Then, as I was leaving and we were saying our goodbyes, they said, "See ya tomorrow". What powerful words! Suggest that they actually wouldn't mind to see you again...you weren't that repelling!

I know this all might sound absurd, but I struggle with what someone might think when I say something or put myself out there. I think I assume most people are unkind, caught up in their own worlds, and that it takes a lot more work than it really does to earn "the right" to talk to someone and enjoy simple conversation. And because of this, I think I might come across unkind. Don't get me wrong, I am the first person to help someone. The old lady at the gas station that can't work the credit card machine, the woman and her kid on the side of the road with a flat tire, the chic in the store that just dropped her whole purse. I have manners! But otherwise, if there isn't a minor crisis to build that instant need for communication, I doubt why that person would even want to engage. Their minds might be somewhere else, they might not feel like chatting, they may find me quite boring or ridiculous...or who knows what else.

I know...I think way too much! But this is what goes through my head many times a day! But we are working through it! :-) And there will be more chances to work on it, and I'll hear more from my friends that I need to step out more. But it'll happen, slowly but surely.

On a lighter note

I enjoyed Bou's post about Disney World. Man, I really enjoyed that place. I might have enjoyed Epcot more than the Magic Kingdom. OK who am I kidding, Epcot serves beer. You know I loved that place.
Anyway, for those of us challenged by geography or fiscal liquidity try this site. It's a virtual Disney beta.

Spurs

Don't know why I was thinking of this....

The first time I saw Pat Tillman was on ESPN. The show was highlighting College Football Super Studs. Pat was a Junior I think, but what I remember thinking was that this guy didn’t fit the mold. With his long hair and flips flops he appeared more surfer than samurai middle linebacker.

Flash forward a few years and Pat was drafted to play in the NFL for the Arizona Cardinals. Again, I remember seeing him on ESPN and thinking, he must be doing something right but he really doesn’t look the type. Since I lived on the East Coast and the Cards generally stink, I don’t ever remember seeing him play live. I’ve only seen highlight footage and it looks like Pat really laid the leather on someone when he hit them. I also remember that Pat turned down a $9 million dollar offer from the Rams (who were good at the time) to return to the Cardinals. My thoughts were that this guy was bonkers.

Flash ahead again to 9/11. This was the catalyst that supposedly made Pat give up the NFL and enlist in the military. He specifically joined the Army and more specific to that he became a Ranger. I remember seeing the story and again saying, hmmm maybe this guy is just eccentric.

I didn’t hear anything about Pat for a few years and then one day, ESPN is breaking the news that Pat Tillman was killed in action while defending fellow soldiers.
I watched most of the coverage and subsequent tributes and was moved by how much character this man apparently possessed. There were, as they say, many layers to this onion.

He was too small to be a linebacker but led Arizona State to the 1996 Rose Bowl.
A year later, he was named Pac-10 player of the year.
He graduated summa cum laude in 3 ½ years with a 3.84 GPA
He wasn’t drafted until the 226th pick but would up starting in the NFL.
In 2000 he broke the franchise record for tackles with 224.
Before the 2000 season, he ran a marathon just to see “what it was like”.
Before the 2002 season he walked into his coaches office and him that he was going to be a Ranger.

Pat received the Silver Star posthumously for his actions on the day he died. But here is another twist to the story. After the military presented stories and descriptions about Pat’s death, it was revealed that his own men killed him. Pat was a victim of friendly fire.

I’ve never served in the military, so I can only imagine how difficult and crazy things get when you are engaged with the enemy and I’m sure my imagination doesn’t even come close. I can see and even understand how things like this can happen. But what I don’t understand is why this was covered up from family and friends.
The family is still trying to get answers from the military and I hope they succeed.

I never met Pat or saw him play live, but he’s a person that I will always remember. Not for the way he died, but for the way he lived.

Update: I go to sleep watching the news so maybe that's how this got in my head. But Keith Olbermann has more on the story in his blog.
Spurs

Parties & Camping

Spurs is talkin' 'bout when his dad would chain all the entrances to the house when they went out of town so they couldn't throw a party and how he overcame that obstacle! Crazy teenagers!

Napster also wants to go camping. Well, at least she did until she found out what it really entailed.

UPDATE: Man this guy can blog!

Spurs has a great post on Pat Tillman. Wow, what a story. I had hear this, but not in so much detail. Nice job Spurs!

And for those of you that read about Bou's trip to Disney World and wish you could have gone or would like to go without all the trouble, Spurs found Disney's Virtual Magic Kingdom

Wow, I think I'm going to get addicted to this!

Go see what Spurs is saying back at my old home until I can kick him out on his own. :-)

Dave Matthews, Here I Come!

I just found out that Sis #1 and I are going to see the Dave Matthews Band in Chicago on June 2nd!! Wooohoooo!!!

I've gone to many concerts, but this is one I've been dying to see.

My mom is getting us tickets as early birthday presents for my sister and me.

Another concert to add to my collection of great concern memories!

Hmmm....let's see if I can remember all the concerts I've been to:

Alabama was the first concert I ever went to. I went with my dad when I was like 8 or 9.

Mark Chestnut I saw when I was at a trail ride in Missouri with my Grandma. Didn't know who he was then, but he became a more popular country singer later.

Chelly Wright (I got her autograph and my picture taken with her), Patty Loveless, and Clay Walker I got to see on 4th of July while in Jr. High on base on 4th of July.

Martina McBride is another concert I got to see while living on base, on 4th of July a different year. Wow, that one was one of my favorites. She's amazing!

311 & Jimmie's Chicken Shack I saw while in college. That was the first time I ever smelled weed. I was with my boyfriend and my roommate and I was like, "Eww, what's that smell?" And they both cracked up at me....oh how naive!

Red Hot Chili Peppers Good show! Again, while in college!

Martina McBride again while in college. She had a few more records under her belt now and it was another awesome show! I was floored!

Better than Ezra Stupid college kids trying to do a mash pit with a non-mashing band. The concert itself was good though!

N'Sync Shush! I took my sister for her 15th birthday.

Barenaked Ladies was an extremely entertaining show! Not only are they good, at the end, they did their own remakes to songs like "Like a Virgin" and "Bootylicious". Great comedy!

Jessica Simpson Shush again! I took my friends daughter for her 15th birthday.

Josh Groban I took Morrigan for her birthday. One of the best concerts I've been to...he's just that good.

Hmmm...I feel like I'm missing some. I'll have to think on this one a little more.

I'm going to try to go to Myrtle Beach Wed night to see Lifehouse. Only $15, ya can't beat that! But again, I struggle with the idea of going to a concert in Myrtle Beach by myself. But I really want to see them!!

So, what concerts have you seen?

Update: I forgot about Blue Man Group while I was in Chicago last year! AWESOME show. I guess that's not really a concert, but there's tons of music! If you have the opportunity, you must go!

The Wonder Drug

Ya know, things have been rough lately! I didn't know if I could handle it anymore. So I went to my doctor to see if there was anything she could do.

She said there was this new trial drug out that might help me out. I figured I'd give it a try....what the hell...

Hat tip to Napster!

Everyone's Motivated On Mondays

I left work early today to get to Curves early to beat the Monday rush. Mondays at around 5:30 tend to be their busiest time. I like to have an empty space between me on each side so I'm not waiting for someone to move and someone's not waiting for me to move.

Well today, I got there around 4:30. Did my two rounds, did my stretches, did my crunches, and then went in the tanning booth.

15 minutes later, I come out of the booth, and the place is PACKED! I mean it is loaded with women jumping, running place, working on machines, dancing. I have never seen each station taken! There are like 24 stations, plus a stretching area.

I guess everyone was trying to get their start for the week.

On another note, I have good news and bad news. The good news is I am continuing to see great results! I've lost weight, my clothes are fitting looser, and I'm able to stretch further than I ever have! I even tried on one size smaller when shopping this weekend, and they were fitting! Yeah!!

Now for the bad news. I was trying on swimsuits today for my trip to Phoenix. Here's the problem with swimsuits. The makers assume that if you need a larger size, your boobs will fit in that larger size! Um, not so much!

I think most of the freaking weight I have lost is in my boobs! That's so not fair! It's not like I was that gifted in that area in the first place! It's just not fair! :-(

Maybe I can get my stepmom to sew in some "support" in that area!

Still working out stuff

Thanks Dave for the tips. I still had to have Napster do a little on site demonstration but I think I'm starting to get the hang of things.

Sissy flew the coop

Way to go Sissy on your new site. It looks great!!

So, I’m left all alone with no parental guidance. MUAHAHAHAHA!!! Somebody cue the music and tap that keg!!
I’m kidding of course but that reminds me……. When I was younger (teens) and my parents would go out of town sans the kids, they would ship my little bro and me’ off to the grandparents. Then, my father would chain up all the entrances to the house. I’m talking full on master locks. All because of one little mishap when they were out of town. Something about police and fire trucks and bottle rockets and skinny-dipping with the principal’s daughter. All laughable and mostly unproven. Anyway, the place was locked up tight. I always felt bad because he went to a lot of trouble and we would just have the party outside anyways…

For those of you who don’t know, Napster is my better half. I’m a very lucky boy to have found someone like her. She is also a girly-girl.
Now I don’t have a problem with this because for one, I get to have my own bathroom and two, I get to have my own bathroom.
So we’re watching T.V. or something this weekend, and knowing her proclivity for all things chickesque, I was quite a shocked when she pronounced, “Wouldn’t it be fun to go camping next weekend?” I’ve seen Napster throw a fit because the cable was out, I can only imagine camping.
I love to camp but haven’t in a while. So I said, sure babe that sounds like fun. We’ll see.

Today at lunch she brings it up again.
Napster – So, do you know how to do the tent and things?
Me – Yes
Napster – You can make a fire?
Me – What do you think?
Napster – What do you do out there? There’s no TV and stuff.
Me – We can hike, swim, explore, all kinds of stuff. It’ll be fun.
Napster – Will you bring guns?
Me – Wha!? I hadn’t planned on it but if it makes you feel better.
Napster – It would make me feel better because of all the freaks out there.
Me – Uh, O.K. Do you want automatics or semi-automatics?
Napster – What about the bathroom?
Me – What about it?
Napster – Where do you go?
Me – Just grab a tree and hang on.
Napster – (Eyebrows arching) Nuh-uh you’re lying.
Me – Nope it’s true. Just put your arms around a tree that’s not to big, squat and have at it. But watch out for ticks.
Napster – Ticks!!

Anyway, I think that may have hit a nerve. She’s going to look for drive-up campsites but I think we may be looking at a cabin…If I don’t watch it, she may go for the Ritz in Austin. I’ll keep you posted.

My Horoscope for the Day

I woke up this morning, checked my email as I usually do, and read my horoscope that arrives in my email. Normally, it's bull or vague. Ah, but today...I would do anything if this would come true!

Cancer (June 22-July 22) You've been itching to change something about your work situation for a while, so when an attractive offer arrives, you won't want to be bogged down by anything as insignificant as details. Have a friend handle those for you.

The only thing that is keeping me at my job currently is that they paid my tuition at school and now I have to stay with them for a year. In all honesty, they paid what my former company, before the merger, was going to pay, so I'm trying to see if there is a loophole somewhere to get me out of that.

Cross your fingers, do a happy dance, something! Let's see if something happens today!

And if not, at least I go on a 2 week vacation in 5 days! :-)

The Competition

So I thought it was time to update on The Competition. It's not so much a competition but more those times when your friend tells you they are going to start working out and/or dieting and it motivates you to do so.

This thing is a great circle. Bou, VW, Amy, and a few others here and there are all part of this little freak health fest. It's like when one or some of us fall of the wagon, someone will post on how well they did.

VW has been running, Amy is doing Weight Watchers, and Bou is doing online Weight Watchers and working out...and they are all chasing at least two kids!

So, I guess it's time to post my progress. I mentioned last Thursday how bad I had done the past week. I mean bad! I mean not working out, not drinking water, and eating whatever the hell I pleased. Taco Bell missed me!

So, since Friday, I've gone hard core! I went to the grocery store and got lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, green onions and made a HUGE salad with bits of sliced turkey and cheese. Aww, so good. And it's so easy...whenever I'm hungry, I just go make a quick bowl and I'm satisfied.

I bought just enough food to get me through the week...stuff that is easy but healthy...since we all know how much I love to cook! I WILL NOT eat out this week. I've got plenty of fruits, veggies and easy foods to have this week.

I've been going to Curves still and added 250 crunches each day. absurd types of crunches. I can smile and my freaking abs hurt! I love it!

So, why the week of health psychoness? I go on vacation Saturday for two weeks!! I am driving to Chicago well I will get to meet some of the Bad Example Family, spend time with my family, and see my sister's graduation. Then I'm flying to Phoenix to spend a week there with my dad, stepmom and both sisters.

Althought being home is the chance to have all those great home cooked meals. And being in Phoenix and going into Mexico, I'll be chowing down on some Mexican food....I will not go overboard!

If I can't go to Curves, I'll go walking. Still continue to cut my portions. I'm bring food/drink with me on my drive to Chicago so I don't have to stop at fast food. I'll still have fun...and I'll feel better when I get home that I didn't gain what I lost.

I will be posting my results for the month on Friday when I have my Measure Day at Curves. I have a feeling this month won't be as good as last month....but a little is better than nothing.

So cheer the ladies on! I have to get to bed so I can get up early and piss off my muscles some more.

Spurs is Still in the Nest

I may have moved, but Spurs refuses to leave the nest. He's comfortable in the ghetto, and I can totally relate to that.

So meanwhile, I will be linking to his posts over at And What Next - Blogspot Edition.

Right now Spurs is going through culture shock with his and Napster's recent move to "The Land That Time Forgot", TX aka Kill Me, TX.

If you've done any drastic moves, you will certainly be able to relate to this!

No cool tag line

Dave over at Third World County has a link to an article by Bill Whittle that kicks ass. I haven't figured out how to do the linky thing yet(Sissy's gonna give me a crash course) but you really should crusie over to his site and check it out.

The "Land That Time Forgot" TX has 351 churches in the Yellow Pages. I counted. With a population of around 200K that means there's a church for every 570 people. And yet there are only 2 listed "Gentlemen's Clubs".........
Another funny thing is that you can by an adult beverage in a bar or restaurant but not, I repeat not, in a grocery store or convenience store. I guess you're better off getting juiced up in a bar and driving home than simply having a drink at home.
Sports Illustrated did an article about High School football stadiums. And in Denton, TX they just opened a $18.3 million, 12,000 sseat facility that has 2 VIP suites and a $900K scoreboard. Holy Crap!! I guess no child will be left behind as long as he can rush for 2000 yards and 20 TD's.
It's hot here. Really hot. I'm from the South and have experienced my fair share of heat but this is face of the sun hot. With my Irish lineage you could say I'm melanin challenged. O.K. I'm Capt. Whitey. Since I've been here I've developed a Farmer's Tan from simply driving to and from work. Napster thinks it's funny.
The other day I jumped in the car and put on my shades(that were sitting on the dash) and almost burned off both of my ears. Went to sit on our deck in the chairs made from metal and branded my damn leg.
The nights however, are great. Once the sun dips below the horizon the temp drops to about 65 and dig this sports fans, No Mosquitos, I repeat for Sanddollar No Freaking Mosquitos!!

I off to put salve on my ears......

What is your Animal Personality?

Maybe this was why I use to love to ride horses when I was little. Maybe I should have kept taking lessons :-)

What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hat tip to Auterrific.

Honey, I'm Home!

Wow, it's done. I'm out of the ghetto! I haven't been to bed yet, just because I was so motivated to have this done by today! This has been a nerve racking but exciting move. Before I give you the tour, let's bring out the designers!

Jim at Snooze Button Dreams gave me the info I needed and did all the behind-the-scenes-work on the Munu side. And he didn't yell at me when I emailed him with questions! :-)

Phin set up my 3 column template for me and basically set the foundation up. Him and I have been emailing back and forth, and he was very good to me too!

I did a lot of surfing the web for help and was on Munuviana quite a bit. Those are great tools when you have a decent idea of what you are doing. But when you have no clue, you need a master.

But the lead person in all of this, the one that spent many hours in many days working and playing with all of this, is Amy from Prochein Amy. She is a brilliant, magnificant woman! She was so patient with me, understanding when I was being picky, explaining how she did things, spending hours on MSN messenger with me, making 5 banners until I found the one that did it for me, thought of little details that I would have never thought of! I'd basically say what I wanted...but not in English...I couldn't explain it - and she's understand and in just a while later, I'd see it up on our testing page.

So, I owe so much to Amy! I gotta get out to Texas soon and take her out for a mucho margarita. She should really consider this as a part time gig. She's that good!

So, enough talk about what was done...let me give you the tour...

The Background

Believe it or not, I'm not much of a pink person. I actually wouldn't wear pink until about a year ago. I'm not what you would call a girly girl. But I saw this background but only darker, sent it to Amy, and she lightened it up and made it look perfect. We joked later about the plaid and how we could say it was based off of Blog mom Bou's background. But her's has a much better story behind it!

The Banner

Amy made a few banners based on the idea of me on a journey of my own self discovery. Something playful but mysterious. She did a cool Wizard of Oz one (that she's currently using), but I've had a tramatic experience with the Wizard of Oz (I'll have to blog on it later).

Just yesterday, she put this one up and I was like...that's it!! I love it. And so there it stayed!

The Left Sidebar

I transferred over posts such as "About Me", some of the Word of the Weeks, and others just for easy access. I'll probably transfer over more if they are necessary.

The Right Sidebar

It was a big joke over at blogspot that I had to future date my post for the Quote of the Week to stay on the top of the page. Well now, it has it's on dedicated place! The label is a link to the instructions, and east week, I'll post a new word like normal and on the top of the right sidebar. The definition will be a link to the actual post for more information.

The quotes I just thought were cool. There are about 50 random quotes; from inspiration, humorous, movies, or who knows where else. I love quotes so I'm sure I'll be adding more!

Under the Bad Example Family, I have a section for my Blog Heroes. This will be a special place for those that are generous and kind that help me with this blog stuff. Right now I only have those that helped me with the move. I will update as time goes on.

On the very bottom of the posts and at the top of any pop up box (such as comments, trackback, etc) you will see a replica of my tattoo. Amy was able to take a picture I had taken of my back, get the tattoo from that, and then add color to it. I swear, amazing! And also, if you haven't already noticed, this graphic should be in your web address bar and in your favorites if you have me as a favorite.

So, I think that's about it. Let me know what you think, how it looks on your monitor and in your browser. If anything is hard to read or just plain looks funny...let me know. This is just the grand opening :-)

I'm still trying to figure out how to make the title larger for each post (I've tried messing with the style sheet and no luck. I also cannot assign a category to a post. When I do, and I go to publish it, my main page shows only the background, that's it.

So if you know of any fixes...leave 'em in the comments.

I've Moved

Linky Lovin IV

Trammel was the Word of the Week for Week #4.

This was the biggest turn out yet!

David of third world county was an over achiever and used this week's word three times in his post about converting his garage into a wood working space.

Blog Mom Mou supports her son in his desire to make video games when he grows up.

Michele from Letters from NYC found an article about Arianna Huffington not getting the recognition she feels she deserves due to recent reviews.

Blog Bruncle Contagion shows off his impressive parenting skills when he teaches his son to say, "Beer" and "Here's to You". His Mother In-Law will be especially proud.

Jenna at Jenna Thomas-McKie took a quiz that actually included this week's word in it's results.

Johnny-Oh at Closet Extremist continues his discussion on The Truth About The Truth and includes a great definition of freedom!

That 1 Guy at Drunken Wisdom explains how the origin of Thursday derived from Tards Day...and he supplies proof!

Sarah the Penguin at Because We Have Thumbs enlightens us on the prejudices and stereotypes in our society.

Army Wife Toddler Mom let's us peek into the difficult life of a two and three year old.

Ladies and Gentlemen...I believe that is everyone! Again, if I have missed anyone, you have my permission to hunt me down and do as you wish with me. Oh, wait....why do I see people editing their previous posts now?

Plan B - If I missed you, send up a smoke signal and I'll give ya your credit.

Word of the Week #5

Word of the Week #4

I go back

Harvey got me thinking when he stated that a particular band (Autograph)I was enjoying was “form without substance, body without soul”. You know what? He was right.

But wasn’t that basically the 80’s in a nutshell? I wasn’t out trying to save the world or reach an enlightened state of mind. I just wanted to be with friends, hang out on the beach, chase girls, keep my car running, chase girls, play ball and chase girls.

Not particularly noble, but it's the truth. So when I hear certain songs from this era, I'm not focusing on the message, I'm remembering a place in time. You could say that their lack of substance and soul, in some way, however small, gave me substance and shaped my soul and I feel like a better man for it.

Kenny Chesney sums it up pretty well in his song “I Go Back”.
“I go back to the smell of an old gym floor
The taste of salt on the Carolina shore
After graduation and drinkin goodbye to friends
And I go back to watchin summer fade to fall
Growin up too fast and I do recall
Wishin time would stop right in its tracks
Everytime I hear that song, I go back, I go back
We all have a song that somehow stamped our lives
Takes us to another place and time”

There are books and movies that do the same thing. Why just last night I was watching Willie Wonka and The Chocolate Factory………..

Sissy in a Dress

At Grandma's house. Notice I was trying to escape!

One of the few times I've ever worn a dress!

Where Do You Go?

Tammi's back and is back to asking her Saturday Question of Day.

Today's question:

OK - Here goes: Tell me about your Happy Place. Not a physical location you run to....that place in your mind where you go to escape when everything is out of control. That memory or thought that "settles" you. Gives you the space you need to take a deep breath and go on.

I just went here last night. My Happy Place is in my truck listening to music. Now, I know this is supposed to be a place you go to you in your mind, but driving and listening to music helps me get to my happy place.

Last night, I got in my truck in PJ's and flip flops, put on some Josh Groban, and drove around. I listen to music loud. Loud where it surrounds me and feels like I'm there. Loud where I can hear a piece of everything.

It really takes me to another place...my mind goes into another mode.

Another thing I might do is play music that reminds me of good memories. I can hear a song and it remind me of a time...good or bad in my life. So when I need to "go back in time", I may listen to something in particular to get me there.

The memories I'm looking for, like Tammi, are usually happy memories with friends. Times where things felt so good that I thought it couldn't get better and I never wanted it to end. I retreat back to these memories often!

And there you have it, Tammi's Saturday Question of the Day - signed, sealed and delivered!

Now we've gotta get her using the Word of the Week! :-)

Sissy in a Dress

For Karnival of Kidz

At Grandma's house. Notice I was trying to escape!

A Silent Weekend

So good ole Spurs calls me tonight and we're discussing blog stuff. Then he asks what my plans are for the weekend.

Plans for the weekend? I'm supposed to have plans. Well, I am 23, I guess that would be the normal thing.

His response? "You're a single, eligible, female...you need to be out!"

Well, I've struggled with this for a while. It's a Catch 22! You have to know people to go out with and you have to go out to meet people.

Now I know you might say, there's nothing wrong with going out by yourself. And you are right, and I have done that.

Here's my problem with that. I've gone out alone. I've gone to dinner alone, to the movies alone, bowling alone, bars alone, clubs alone, etc.

Here is what happens on these alone outings:

1. I am an introvert. I have issues with approaching others.
2. I don't think I "look" approachable. I'm not sure "intimidating" is the right word, but I don't think I look all that friendly.
3. After a while, being alone just starts to feel uncomfortable.
4. When I am approached, it's either by people that I would not want to be approached by (you all have read the posts!), married guys or guys just looking for the hook up that night.

And these outings haven't been just to find a member of the opposite sex. Just to meet people in general. It just doesn't work!

I've looked around into local adult intramural sports, and unfortunately, they are all a little more professional than I am capable of.

I work with mostly men in my office, all married Engineers. There are two girls, one I wouldn't hang out with if my life depended on it, and the other is married with a kid and isn't capable of up and going out as a single gal.

What else is there to do??

Spending weekends alone do tend to suck after a while...I won't lie. To go a whole weekend without one word leaving your mouth until Monday morning at work....it happens.

But, I did this to myself. I moved from Arizona out to the east coast to better myself and get away from a life I didn't want. And even though I did leave my fun friends there, it was for the better. But you can only better yourself so much by yourself.

So, this is the reason why I'm not out on a Friday night. I think it'll help when I go back to school, hopefully this fall. To be in a classroom with others. Meanwhile, my closest friend is 3 hours away, my mom, stepdad and sister will be 2 hours away in July, and I stay entertained with my Blog Family and Friends! Oh, and don't forget Kiki! She's as loyal as they get! :-)

Selling My Soul

I've been selling my soul and whoring myself for help. I even heard there was a little competition looking for help on another corner.

I've got the format that I want, and the background. I'm using a practice banner (won't be using the real banner until unveiling) to hold it's spot. I've got Comment Pop Ups and roll down, Trackbacks are popping up and listing on the post, the Remember Me is working, and a few other things. I'm proud of what I've done so far 'cause I'm a real dope!

But what I am really struggling with is the following:

• Moving the Banner and the left and right side bars down away from the top of the page. Also seperating the banner and where the posts start. I want some space in there and can't figure out how. And for the sidebars to line up with the top of the post, not the banner.

• For the sidebars, I'm wanting white boxes with rounded corners, kind of like at Madfish Willie's.

I cannot find fixes for these anywhere. I've been on Munuviana, CSS sites, Moveable Type sites and been viewing page sources on any and all Munu blogs.

So now I'm getting desperate. Especially since I've been getting a lot of 404 errors when surfing blogs in Blogger. So if anyone knows how to talk to a semi-dummy about this stuff, I promise, I'm not vice!

Just getting the feel of things

Whew! What a week. I've felt like the White Rabbit all week.
But now, it's Miller Time.......

I'm sitting here listening to some music trying to get the hang of this site. Does anyone remember the band Autograph? Yeah!! I must admit, that I had Napster post my other 2 entries. Not that I couldn't do it, it's just that she's Neo of our little syndicate. I open the doors, kill bugs, lift heavy objects and cook. She handles computer related items and overall operations. It's a happy little set-up. At least in my mind.........

Is it just me or is "Sith" attached to every product known to man?

Lots more to talk about but I think I'll wait until Sunday. I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Not Those Girly Push-ups!

My insides are on fire!!

For some freakish reason, I decided to go turbo-cruncher today. 100 normal crunches, 50 with my torso turned to the left, 50 with my torso turned to my right...and then the kicker, 50 with my legs up in the air feeling like someone just stuck a match in my belly button! (sorry guys, no pictures!)

This was after my 30 minutes at Curves. After fighting through pouring rain, lightning, thunder and hail! (no, I'm not being overdramatic - I'm for real!)

I was thinking, while doing my crunches, about the stuff my dad used to have me do when I was around 9 or 10. He'd make me PT with him. He'd have me try to run with him, at least for a short distance, and he would time me. He would have me increase my push-ups each week. I was the only 4th grader who could do 30 push-ups...real ones, not the girly ones!

Wow, imagine if I would have kept that up since I was 9! So, today I wondered, "How many push-ups can I do now?"

I didn't want to do it in front of the others, so I thought I'd wait until I got home.

I did 'em, arms shoulder width apart, back straight, butt level, and pushing all the way to the floor...with Kiki in my face and running under me. A freaking whopping 10 of 'em! How sad!

So, I'm considering adding them to my routine. Although, at the moment, my arms are now jelly and couldn't even pick up fork. Hmmm...maybe that's a good thing :-)

Testing

Testing some stuff over on Munu

My Second Wind

I fell off the horse this week! I've been going at full speed for about 6 weeks now, working out, eating right, being healthy in general.

This week I fell hard. I did the very minimum this week at Curves, only doing 30 minutes on Sunday and Monday. I used my exhaustion as an excuse not to go, although it's not like I caught up on any sleep while NOT being at the gym.

And oh, what I've eaten. I've actually felt it! I've had more sugar than normal this week, and it has really messed up my stomach. If I had anything greasy, I would just feel queasy afterward. I haven't been drinking enough water and have even noticed a difference in my complexion.

Damn Taco Bell being right down the street from me. did I mention I love their new Chicken Club Chalupa! And I had Cajun food for the first time this week. The receptionist at work took me to some hole in the wall place that served fried turkey wings and jambalya. Oh, and chocolate. Yea, I'm sure I had some chocolate this week.

And then I've read some of the comments from the Competition posts over at Bou's, VW's, and Amy's and felt like a heel!

So tomorrow, it's time to start kicking ass!! I'm sleeping in tomorrow to make sure I get enough sleep, going to Curves first thing in the morning and going to the workout center at my apartment in the afternoon. I have a fridge ready with tomatoes and cucumbers, watermelon and bananas, chicken breasts, and many many bottles of water!!

I go on vacation for 2 weeks Memorial Day Weekend. June 1st, I drive to Chicago to attend my sister's High School graduation, spend some time with family and meet some of the Bad Example Family. Then I fly to Phoenix to visit more family.

This vacation was my big goal...to lose two sizes (since April 1) before my sister's graduation, before I saw my family, met some new people, and jumped into a swimsuit in Phoenix.

So, it's hardcore these next two weeks! I'll be posting on how it goes. Meanwhile ladies...keep it going!!

I Think I'm Pregnant

This lack of sleep I've been having, the nausea, the odd cravings, the back ache, my pants fitting tighter...I think I'm pregnant!

Check out the comments from this post, I think people have began to spread on my possibly "expecting". May have even seen some pictures in the tabloids.

Now, if I am pregnant, I need to think about some serious issues: names, schools, types of diapers, to spank or not to spank, to breastfeed or bottle feed. Oh, there's so many decisions.

Maybe I'm wrong...maybe it's just gas! But if not...does anyone know the gestation period of an onery blogger?

It's In The Air

It must be in the air! Even Kiki is dreaming!

She's laying next to me, snuggled into my leg, and all I keep hearing are little yelps and her body twitching. Every once in a while, her little legs will get to moving like she's starting to run, then she'll relax for a moment.

She's so cute when she's sleeping!

I woke her up

My cutie pie 

Is That So Much To Ask?

I just don't get it! I've been blogging about my issues getting enough sleep or quality sleep. We're talking for almost a week now!

Today, while training, I was dead! I was yawning the whole time (trying to cover it up by writing on the flipchart or being behind the room). I could not wait until I could go home and pass out! I kept thinking, as soon as I got home, I would just go straight to bed! I was THAT tired!

I got home, and was going to go straight to bed, but figured that would mess my schedule up even more! So, through great willpower (stop laughing!), I figured I'd stay up until 10pm so I would just be exhausted enough to pass out and get back on a schedule.

Well if you notice the time of this post, it's past 10pm. And guess what!?! I'm not tired one freaking bit! I feel like I could stay up all night!

What the hell?

*whining*

All I want to do is get some quality sleep!!!!!!!! Pleeeaaaasssseeeeee!!!!

Now, Thursday should be interesting. I'm training systems. I'll be falling asleep on the projector! Well hey, I tend to talk in my sleep (at least that's what I'm told), so maybe I could train in my sleep. Ah, that would be nice!

Moving Again!

Guess what!?!

I'm packing! Yes, I'm packing. I just did this 7 months ago, then 3 months before that, then 14 months before that! Do I have enough crap???

So where am I moving to? I've talked about Missouri, New Mexico, Texas, Oregon, and Washington. Take a wild guess. Probably the worst place you can imagine, right??

But this place, this place I think I'll actually like! Little higher class, safer area, cost of living is the same, not too far from my friends and it looks like I'll meet some new neighbors.

You would think this move would be so much easier than the past moves! Maybe physically easier, but oh my...my brain is throbbing!

Luckily, I have some moving help and even some interior design help. I lack creativity! I mean, I still don't have curtains in my current place (seriously, for real...thank goodness for blinds)

So this move...what's keeping me from blogging as frequently as usual.

I'm off to Munu! Along with the majority of the Bad Example Family. This is what I have been racking my brain about for the past 3 days. My computer has a couple of bruises from my, um...frustrations.

I've been practically whoring myself around for help! I had one brilliant man help with the move and get me set up with a format that I like. A few changes and it'll be home. Then, I have someone else helping with the interior design. She has amazing talent.

I am keeping their names private to protect them....unless they don't mind being given up. And if they don't mind, they are getting all the linky lovin' they can stand, plus a special part of my new home for my Blog heroes!

So, I'm going to let Spurs clean the joint up while I stand back and make sure he doesn't miss anything. You know those inspections can be a bitch! Once he's done cleaning the place up, hopefully we can get him off the bottle and onto the big boy sippy cup!

Thank You...Let's Start At The Beginning

First, I would like to say Thank You for all of your positive comments. It felt surprisingly good and was quite unexpected.

Next I want to apologize for the font size. I’m afraid old habits die-hard. In my previous life as a Financial Analyst, I would often times be called upon by “Senior Management” (those are sarcastic “”’s) to put together large quantities of data. This would happen most of the time, with little or no notice and would now become my freakin’ emergency. After putting together said information on the metric Du jour, I would drop the font to 8 and resolution to 75%, fire the workbook off as printer friendly (Senior Mgmt. has trouble if not PF) and sit back at my desk giggling like a school girl. You have to picture a room full of grown ups hunched over the workbook grabbing glasses, magnifying lenses, rulers and whatever else to view this material. Then, before they could come running down the hall, I would head downstairs for a Latte or Chai grinning from ear to ear. So anyway it won’t happen again.

I guess since I skipped the initial “about” post and jumped right up on my soapbox, maybe I should back it up and try to paint a picture of myself. A cyber fill in the blanks if you will….

I was born at Ft. Jackson in Columbia, SC in the Year of our Lord 1968. My father was an Army Infantryman who was headed to Vietnam. Let’s just say he didn’t make it to Nam and the marriage didn’t make it to 4 years. This doesn’t make me a military brat does it?? By the way, I’m of Scotch-Irish descent.

After quite a bit of moving, my mother met the strongest, nicest, hardest working man I’ve ever know. He would become my stepfather. Oh yeah, did I mention I have a younger brother? More on him later…My stepfather was in his 30’s during the 70’s and decided to take on my mom, brother and me. That took courage and for all intents and purposes, this man molded me.

Life was pretty good growing up. We lived in Columbia, SC and were decidedly middle-class. The only strange part was that during this time, both mom and pop were going through a hippie phase of sorts. It didn’t really bother my brother and I because we got to meet lots of really interesting “Aunts” and “Uncles” and everybody was generally happy and laughing. I always wondered what that smell was………..

During this time I developed a love of sports and books. Some of my fondest memories involve playing catch with pop when he came home from work and reading to my mom at the dinner table while she cooked. Bear in mind that my father was a Master Plumber and was working at the Savannah River Nuclear Plant at this time. He would leave the house at 4:00 AM everyday and wouldn’t get home until 7-8 PM. I’m sure the last thing he wanted to do was play catch. But you know what? He built a pitcher’s mound and backstop with lights so we wouldn’t have to worry about it being dark.

I was always pretty good in school and didn’t really have to try too hard. A 70’s version of Ferris Bueller comes to mind. School was where I began to develop my smart-ass ways I believe. Trust me, it was easier to be a smart-ass at school than at home. We were never abused, but both mom and pop would bust your ass if you got out of line. Come to think of it, back then, every parent in the neighborhood had a sort of pro-forma right to bust your ass if you were acting up. Many times I received I whipping from a neighbor, was passed off to my mother for another whipping and was told to wait until my father got home for the Grand Finale beating. (We didn’t play catch on those nights)
Hell, there was even a spanking room at my Middle School and Junior High. I bet that would go over like a fart in a Space Suit in today’s society.

Which brings us to the question, does Corporal Punishment work?
Talk amongst yourselves………
I would’ve given anything for “Time Out” back in the day. Ultimately I believe the whippings taught me respect and that there were always going to be consequences for my actions.
I admit to not having kids but my nieces and nephews think I’m the best. That said, the kids in my family who get spankings are way better behaved than the non-spanking, time-out kids.

Well, I think I’ll leave it at that for now.
Spurs-

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. --Red Buttons

Excuse Me.....Is This Thing On???

I must admit that this is a little intimidating. I've often thought about blogging and what I may or may not write about. But I never seriously contemplated actually doing it. I mean seriously, writing was never what I would have called a "forte" during my academic career and this is writing to the power of x.

So here I am, after a little subtle coercion from Sissy and Lupus (Napster) typing out a nickel bag’s worth of blog material. A sort of test drive if you will.........

Where to start...Well, I guess that you should know that my "ranting" and "raving” description is probably a little overblown. Sissy/Mo/Napster have all heard me fire some serious shots but for the most part I would describe myself as the consummate smartass. I’m sure the gals and quite a few unnamed others would attest to this fact.

With that said, I’d like to address my handle, or screen name, or whatever you call it. I think Angry Cock or Fighting Cock is probably a misnomer. While it’s true that Gamecocks are genetically predisposed to beating the crap out of one another (they will fight to the death…no shite) and I quite often have to suppress the urge to choke the living crap out of some dipstick. It’s probably best to go another route. I was thinking “Spurs”. It goes with the Cowboy theme and Fighting Cocks wear them as an offensive weapon. Cool?

I’d like to skip the obligatory “about” portion and fire off a few things I believe to be true and see what you guys think?

• Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.
• “Heartbeat” by Don Johnson is not the worst song of all time. It is in fact “Party All the Time” by Eddie Murphy. With a close second going to anything by Richard Marx.
• Women should have the right to choose.
• Death Penalty-Pro. The whole Justice system can really get me lathered up, FYI.
• There should be a separation of Church and State. At one point the Pledge of Allegiance stated “…..one Nation, Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for All.” Guess what’s missing?
• If I want to own a gun, and have not committed a felony, then leave me the hell alone. If I want a gun that fires 300 rpm see previous statement and replace hell with fuck. What Amendment was that…..
• Lubbock shall not be referred to as “Kill Me Texas”. From now on, it shall be know as “The Land That Time Forgot” or “Place of a Million Churches”.
• I hate cell phones!! And guess what else?? I particularly hate being forced to listen to a conversation when I’m eating, drinking, watching a movie, shopping, standing in line after shopping and pretty much any other time I’m in public. If you look around when you’re driving or just out in general, I’ll bet 7 in 10 folks you see are on the damn phone. Nobody is that important, excluding W.
• I could care less if gays and lesbians got married. As long as they pay taxes and have to jump through the same hoops to get a divorce, good luck to em’.
• 80’s Hair Metal R-O-C-K-S!!!!!!!
• Don’t burn my flag or a disagreement will ensue. Mostly with my foot in your ass…..
• There should be a Constitutional Amendment outlawing Artificial Turf and The Designated Hitter.
• Excluding Florida, College Sports are better in the South.
• If there’s anything that smells better than Barbeque on the grill, Chili on the stove, Bacon in a pan, hotdogs at a ball field and fresh cut grass, I’d like to know.
• O.J. did it. Hell, even the brothers know this was a mulligan for the whole Rodney King incident.
• The size of your car should be inversely proportional to your age. Nothing scares me worse than looking over at the on-ramp and seeing some little old lady in a 92’ Lincoln attempting to merge. All you can see are those little arms at the top of the steering wheel and a glimpse of the top of their head…….
• Kids should have to spend more time outside.
• Speaking of kids, spanking is allowed. I can’t tell you how many times my brother (younger) and I got our butts whipped. And you know what; with the exception of 1 BB-Gun incident (I was framed) I probably deserved them all.
• Adult ADD!! Give me a break!! We as a society are overmedicated and over diagnosed.
• There is a cure for AIDS but it’s more profitable to treat than to cure.
• Repeat after me, Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery. No wiggle room on this one folks.
• I say “Please” and “Thank You”. It’s just the right thing to do. Plus Mom and Dad would bust my ass if I didn’t.
• I open doors for women. Not that you guys can’t open the door for yourselves, it’s just nice is all.
• Work to live not vice versa. The company really doesn’t give two shits about you in the grand scheme of things……They do however care about EBITDA. See below.
• EBITDA is an acronym created by Warren Buffett to cover up the fact that a company can generate a ton of cash and still show no profit. Hmmmm…….no wonder companies love this metric, it’s all BS.
  

Whew!! That did feel pretty good. Don’t forget to tip your waitress and bartender; they’re working hard for ya’.

Spurs-

Back on Schedule

Last week, I lived by Morrigan's philosophy, "You'll have time to sleep when you die". I got up at 5:45 am to go workout, attended training from 8:00 am - 5:30 pm, would stay and have dinner with some of the managers and then spend time with some of my friends that were also attending training from out of town. I'd stay out until about 12 or so, go home, and repeat. So, by Friday, I was ready to SLEEP!

I slept in on Friday instead of going to work (I put in my 40 hours that week) I thought I had caught up Friday, but I slept ALL WEEKEND! I'd sleep 9-10 hours in my bed, then go to the living room, do a couple of things, and then take a nap on the couch for a couple of hours. I'd do a few more things, and then go sleep in my bed for a couple of hours. Then I just turned into a TV watching, sleeping fool! And we all know there is nothing on TV on the weekends...so I basically hibernated!

You would have thought I got enough rest....but no! It was all restless sleep. I was dreaming real things. It drove me nuts! There are times I wish my brain had an off switch!

So thanks to all that "sleep", I couldn't fall asleep Sunday night until about 3am, but woke up at 7 am to go work out. When I came home, I was exhausted! I even came home from work early because I was so dead tired. I got on the computer and kept dozing. I wanted to stay up until bedtime to get back on a schedule, but I just couldn't do it.

Do you ever get so tired, you just feel sick! You either gotta get up and do something or pass out right there. That's how I was! So I figured I'd lay down for a few minutes on the couch. Kiki curled up next to me, and we fell asleep. I still dreamt! The hour and a half I napped, I was dreaming! Damnit!

So last night, I go to bed at 11 and don't fall asleep until about 1:30. Thank God for Nick at Nite! I woke up this morning at 6:30 exhausted! I felt like I could sleep another days worth! I went to work and set up for the class I had to train.

The class was half-ass on the part of the company. No set guide, timeline or objectives. So I had to wing it!

I must say, I have to be one of the first trainers to start to fall asleep in their own class! I was sitting there while they were finishing an activity, and started doing the dozing head fall!

Needless to say, I let class out early!

Tonight...no naps, no dreams, and maybe some Tylenol PM!

Three Months Ago...

Exactly 3 months ago, to the minute, I started And What Next...

Why??

Morrigan talked about the stuff her sister Boudicca blogged about and constantly had me in stitches.

She finally gave me the address to her sister's blog and I loved it! I went through her archives...just couldn't get enough. It was addicting! And she was expressing a lot of the thoughts I had (minus the kids and husband :-) ) I remember looking at Bou's status in the Ecosystem (after Morrigan explained it to me) and thinking wow, to be an Adorable Rodent (that's what she was at the time)

So, I thought I'd give it a try. I loved to write, but never did. I couldn't write without knowing my audience. That's why the thought of a diary never appealed to me when I was younger. I loved to write letters. Traveling so much, I kept up with everyone by letters and later emails. I wrote long letters.

I had no idea of a voice or anything when starting And What Next... Just hoped to have as much fun as it looked like Bou was having and enjoy writing again. I didn't plan on a big audience, if any, didn't plan on a blog family, never thought I could be an Adorable Rodent, and certainly didn't plan on looking forward to meeting anyone.

Three months ago today, I changed a part of my life. I actively and openly share a journey I am on that I may not have realized I was on without this. Even if I did realize it, I wouldn't have had all the laughs, stories and support that I have now.

Appropriate enough, Morrigan was my 4500th visit here tonight. It's been an inconceivable 3 months.

UPDATE: Much to my surprise, when I woke up this morning, I saw "Marauding Marsupial" on the bottom of my page. Thank you steroids carnvials. I unfortunately still can't see the details of how this had come to be...my luck, there will be a recount :-P

Oh, If Dreams Were Reality!

My stepmom and I have been talking on the phone about getting in shape, losing weight, Weight Watchers, Curves, etc.

She calls me today and tells me she had a dream about me last night. She says that she dreamt I walked through the door of their house and was wearing a crop top, short shorts, was about 110 pounds and you could see my ribs! HAHAHAHAHA

She asked what's my secret.

Well, I might be doing well, but I hate to disappoint her...I'm not doing THAT well!!

Come on...she's married to my dad - the tall, monstrous Marine! My body could never physically be 110 pounds. I love how we exaggerate things in our dreams!

Then she tells me, "Don't forget to bring a swimsuit when you come out here in a couple of weeks. It's already reaching 100 degrees."

Haha, like I'm going to want to wear a swimsuit after she's had that defugulated image in her mind. Sheesh!

Dream Analysis

That Dream has really been bothering me. I really want to know what it meant, if anything. I think what bugs me is how detailed it was, how many details there were, and how much I remembered.

I submitted the dream to a dream analysis site. Although, they do not choose to analyze all the dreams submitted. So my chances of getting an answer are slim.

So, I looked up a dream dictionary and typed in key parts of the dream to see what it came up with. So the following is what I found. Ah, I'm so confused!!

Shooting

To see a shooting in your dream, indicates that you have a set goal and know what you are aiming for in life. Your plans are right on target!

To dream that you shoot a person with a gun, denotes your aggressive feelings and hidden anger toward that particular person.

To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun, suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You may feel victimized in some situation.

Party

To dream that you are at a party, suggests that you need to get out more and enjoy yourself. If the party is bad, then it indicates that you are unsure of your social skills.

Swimming

To dream that you are swimming, suggests that you are exploring aspects of your unconscious mind and emotions. The dream may be a sign that you are seeking some sort of emotional support. It is a common dream image for people going through therapy.

To dream that you are swimming underwater, suggests that you are completely submerged in your own feelings. You are forcing yourself to deal with your emotional difficulties.

Children

To see children in your dream, signifies your own childlike qualities or a retreat back to a childlike state. It is an extension of your inner child during a time of innocence, purity, simplicity, and a carefree attitude. You may be longing for the past and the chance to satisfy repressed desires and unfulfilled hopes. Take some time off and cater to the inner child within. Perhaps there is something that you need to see grow and nurtured.

To save a child, signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed.

Gang

To dream that you are confronted or threatened by a gang, signifies circumstances or situations in your waking life which are overwhelming and you feel has ganged up on you.

House

To dream of a haunted house, signifies unfinished emotional business, related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed memories and feelings.

Newspaper

To see newspapers in your dream, signifies that new light and insight will be shed on a problem that has been on your mind. You are seeking knowledge and answers to a problem. Alternatively, to see newspapers in your dream, implies that you need to be more vocal and express yourself. In other words, you need to make headlines.

Interesting stuff. I'd really like to know how they come up with these definitions.

A Possible New Blogger

Okay, I need a little help here from the cheering section.

Cowboy has mentioned to me on several occasions how he has considered starting a blog. Then he brings up every excuse there is not to....you've all heard it all before.

I offered him the opportunity to guest blog at And What Next... to see if he liked it first, get a little readership, and then consider starting his own (knowing he would be awesome and get tons of support from the family)

His fiance, Napster, even came up with a name for him. The Angry Cock. Let me explain this one. He graduated from and is a huge fan of University of South Carolina, the Fighting Gamecocks!

He's really not so much angry, but likes to go on rants. Well voiced and logical rants. I wouldn't give him the key to the joint if I didn't trust him. This guy is funny as hell and can put a hilarious spin on just about anything.

He would certainly take care of what I don't write about much...news, opinions, etc. I'm a bit selfish and tend to talk about ME! :-) So it'd be a good balance until I can talk him into moving his shit and getting his own place.

I think he's fearful that he may scare some of my readers away. He his quite vocal! I told him if he did, no problem, I'd change the locks. Plus I'm moving soon anyway :-)

So if you have any helpful advice, or even a swift kick in the shorts for Cowboy, leave it in the comments.

Vomit Horror Stories

Poor Blog Bruncle Contagion had to spend his Saturday at home due to his vomity family. Then Blog Mom Bou mentions in the comments that she's okay with vomiting, as long as it's not in the mouth.

Oh memories!

Now, let me preface this with...I.DO.NO.THROW.UP!! I will lay there miserable, curled up in a ball until the misery goes away. But I will not throw it up. I can't make myself do it nor will I let myself. I JUST CAN'T! I can count how many times I've thrown up on one hand. Obviously my drinking escapade was one of them. There was a time in Okinawa when I was 5 or 6 that I was lying in bed rolled over, throwing up in a bucket. Noodles and tomato sauce are not good the 2nd time around!

And then there was this time. I was probably 1 or 2 years of age and we were visiting family in Rolla, Missouri. We were at my great grandparents house and the majority of the family was there. Now, just about every man in that side of my family, used chewing tobacco. I learned at a very early age that you don't just pick up a soda can on the end table and drink it. Not worth the chance!

Well, I was playing with one of my uncles, and he of course had chew in his mouth. He started throwing me up in the air and we were both laughing, having a good old time. He was smiling real big and I was giggling 'til my heart was content.

Well, you can only shake a baby so much until they spew! Yes, that's right, I hurled right in my Uncle's mouth...right in there with the tobacco!

He won't make that mistake again :-)

The Stupid Things I Do Because I'm Scared of Bugs

A spider or palmetto bug runs across the carpet? They don't die by the poison of the spray....they die by drowning or suffocating in it. I use about half a can per bug.

How I clean it up? I scoop it with paper or the dust pan. I can't pick it up with toilet paper or paper towels! EH!! And then I wear shoes for the rest of the evening.

A moth was right next to my door knob as I came home. After jumping back, I go back to the parking lot, pick up a rock, come back to my door and throw the rock at the moth. After I miss, I go back to the parking lot, pick up a stick, bring it back, and attack the moth and jump as it flies at me.

I see a bug in the car while driving? I freak out, pull over, get out of the car open all the doors/windows and try to shoo it out with whatever junk I may have. Then as I get back in, I itch the whole time thinking I have bugs on me.

So, needless to say, I have this excessive fear of bugs! I obviously should not be living in the south.

Linky Lovin' III

Troglodyte was the Word of the Week for Week #3.

That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom uses this week's word when expressing his anger toward his blogfather Grau, calling him a troglodyte bastard and that he better be paying Blog mom dad Parent, Harvey, child support.

Blog Mom Bou was worried at first that she couldn't use this week's word. She thought it was some Star Trek word. Well, she's a trooper and on Mother's Day, she was happy to see that her Blog Children didn't see her as a troglodyte.

Aris_Ravencroft thinks he may be viewed as a troglodyte in these comments, for the music he listens to.

David of third world county used this week's word in a Recipe of a Troglodyte.

Blog Grandpa Harvey of Bad Example awarded the Little Right Wing Circle Jerk Award to a post on those Times troglodytes.

Blog Bruncle Contagion of Miasmatic Review got up enough nerve to attend a blogmeet and claims that Harvey considers him too much of a troglodyte to read his stuff over at IMAO

Blog Sis VW of One Happy Dog Speaks tried to use this weeks word to describe Blog Mom Bou; however failed thankfully.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom was needing fashion advice for a troglodyte before a big event she was going to. She obviously didn't read my definition for a troglodyte as there is no way she'd be considered one! ;-)

AWTM, my Word of the Week detective, has been sending me links of where she has seen the word being used. Such a huge help! She found the word of the week unknowingly being used at Vodkapundit on how Pat Buchanan has "hit bottom on the slippery slope from Young Turk conservative columnist to Nazi Apologist troglodyte.

Sarah the Penguin of Because We Have Thumbs speaks of stinky armpits and sexual preferences and breaks it down into troglodyte terms for us.

Great job everyone! Again, if I've missed anyone, send me a nasty gram, leave a comment or send up a flare!

Sleepless Sleep

Word of the Week #3

The Answers I'll Never Know

I remember when I was a kid, driving around in my Grandpa's old pick up truck. Our coversations would go something like this:

Grandpa: How many toes do you have?

Me: 10

Grandpa: No, guess again.

Me: *thinking hard* 8?

Grandpa: No, come on, how many toes do you have?

Me: *taking off my socks and shoes* 10 Grandpa!

Grandpa: No you do not have 10 toes.

Me: Grandpa! How many toes do I have?

Grandpa: Count them!

Me: one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten TEN!!

Grandpa: That's not right.

To this day, I still don't know how many toes I have!!

My grandma (different side of the family) used to tell me not to leave my orange juice out because all the vitamins would evaporate. When I wanted chocolate milk, she told me that the chocolate destroyed all the vitamins. She would freak out when flies landed anywhere because they threw up on whatever they were on. She also said scratching mosquito and chigger bites were good because it would get rid of the poison.

Oh, the things our grandparents do for their own amusement or senility.

I'm Boring

1. What's in your CD player right now?

2. What book is on your coffee table/night stand?

3. What's in your VCR?

4. What's in your DVD?

1. Maroon 5, The Killers, Michael Buble', Shinedown, Shania Twain (I have a 5 disc)

2. My old school books. I'm in the middle of trying to sell them on Amazon.

3. A blank tape recording that Oprah Show about living healthier. Someone saw the post I did on the show and asked me to send her a copy if I had it.

4. Van Wilder and Senseless (well, they are sitting on top of my DVD Player)

Thanks to Caltechgirl for this one.

Word of the Week #4

Tons ‘O Search Results

While checking my Site Meter, if found the following searches. I have a feeling a lot of these people were quite dissapointed!

Great! I see a lawsuit coming because some dumbshit OD's on Baby Asprin to get rid of all their damn wrinkles.

This one just sucked in general! :-)

I would never have thought #2 for this one. Very odd.

Again, why do I see a lawsuit coming? ;-)

I just thought this one was a little bizarre.

Wow! We've only done the Word of the Week for 3 or so weeks and we are #13. Goal is to get this to #1 !! :-) 

Carnival of Recipes

Again, I think if I were to post a recipe, everyone would avoid it like the plague due to my absence of cooking abilities.

However, Momma Bou is hosting the Carnival of Recipes this week, so of course I must participate.

So I figured I would post a recipe you all would trust more from me and possibly enjoy more.

Where Did The Day Go Wrong?

Well, other than my mishap Monday, this week while in training has been full of good news, rays of hope, lifted stress, some fun flirting, and exciting things. Such a change for the past couple of months unfortunately.

Then this afternoon, all in a few hours, every thing gets shot down back to the way they were Monday. It's like I got a couple of days of escape (almost literally), and then had to return to the battlefield today.

I usually try not to get excited about things...especially without enough facts to feel safe in getting excited.

However, I let my guard down and I allowed myself to let go, be excited and even get my hopes up a bit. Let me tell you...the trip from excited to....well, no reason to be...is a hard trip.

So, I'm going to go relax and recover from this overwrought jetlag!

The People That Really Matter!

Today I was actually participating in a training (rather than facilitating) along with other managers. All these managers I have either worked with in the past or trained myself. And a lot of them are very close friends now.

I've said before I really dislike my job now. I feel like I got the "Go to Jail" card - can't pass go, can't collect $200.

As much as I am scheming a way to get out of the company (since I signed my life away for tuition assistance), I was reminded of a couple of the reasons why I love this position so much.

Today, during our class, we were doing the typical introductions, and it came to me. Now, I have been asked several times previously by various managers if/when I would move and that they wished I could stay. Well, I did my introduction, and added that I wasn't moving. I got a huge applause and a lot of the managers chimed in to the facilitator (from an outsourcing company) how important it was that I stay in my territory, what they had gone through with me and what I had done for them.

This made me very happy :-)

Then, at lunch, a lot of managers were comparing some trainings they recently had. We had to roll out a new sales process to this territory to about 240 employees in 3 days. We did this, but in 4 different cities at the same time. So each trainer went to a different city. This is the first time these managers saw the trainers from this company that acquired us. Boy did I light up when they said how much more they got from my classes and that our previous company had such a better and more effective training department. They went on comparing all the trainers (with the new company)....and I just kept feeling better and better.

So yes, I feel a tad guilty for getting pleasure out of being the preferred trainer of the department with this new company by our managers. But you know what, it feels good!

It just reminds me where to put my focus.

Sometimes it's easier to seek forgiveness than ask permission. I have a feeling I am going to be doing this a bit with this department until they realize how backward they do things.

Early Chocolate Addiction

Obviously, my addiction to chocolate started early! This is my 1st birthday when we were stationed at Camp Lejeune, NC.

 

Good News!

I hate to jinx myself, but I can't hold it in any longer!

Old Soul

Ok, one last post and I'm off to bed.

I was watching the Ellen show that I had taped, while doing a little blogging, and she had Neil Diamond on her show.

I'm really going to show how old my soul is by saying this...but I really love some Neil Diamond. I can sing just about every song he's done!

I was only allowed to listen to country music until the age of 10. When we weren't listening to country, we were listening to some olf folk, Roger Whitaker (who I also like) or Neil Diamond. So many roadtrips with these guys singing us around the country.

What's even more sad...Sis #2's (age 7) favorite CD to listen to on when driving around with my dad is The Royal Guardsman - Snoopy vs the Red Baron. She can sing every word of that CD! All of her friends are singing Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, Backstreet Boys...and my sister is singing the freaking Royal Guardsman! I love it!

Competition

Okay, so Blog Mom Bou and Blog Sis VW have a competition to see who will get to their goal weight first. They both have multiple posts smack talking, talking about who has the upper hand and even posting their weights.

Posting my weight is where I drew the line. But I will use them as motivation and will post how my days go for support.

Well, other than my day from hell, it was a good day health/fitness wise. I spent 30 minutes at Curves and did 100 crunches all before 8am. I went to Curves again after work and did another 30 minutes (my schedule wouldn't allow me to do an hour) and did another 100 crunches. I had planned to spend another 30-60 minutes in the fitness center at my apartment, but my day from hell did not allow that.

I could have used a few more calories today as a piece of toast with jelly and my fruit was surely not enough. However, I refuse to eat right before bed. I'll make time tomorrow.

I'd like to go to the fitness center in the morning before my class, but I fear with me getting to bed late, the chance that my truck won't start and having to drive 30 minutes to my class that starts at 8am, it might not be likely. It may have to wait until after work :-(

VW is at her mom's this week with all those fried foods. But she says she's ready!

Keep it going girls!

Only Me!

Sit down with a beer for this one...you're going to need it! The end of this is the kicker!

I got up early this morning, grabbed my piece of toast, and went to Curves for 30 minutes. Went to work and was just slammed. I've been out of the office for the past 2 weeks for training and will be out of the office all this week and next for training, so today was my only day to get things accomplished. I was slammed with phone calls from managers freaking out that they couldn't figure how to sign their employees up for training. Literally 10 phone calls, and they are pissed! What sucks even more, I barely know since the merger, so I wasn't much help! I ended up putting together a power point presentation to walk them through step by step on how to do this. Of course with no help from the jerks in Kill Me, TX.

I also had other stuff to get done that didn't get accomplished. Stuff that is on a deadline for June, stuff that I am not getting any help on, but people are waiting for me to send out stuff.

I'm on a damn 7 hour conference call (yes, no exaggeration, 7 hours) and am trying to get stuff done while half listening to this call. I don't have time to go to lunch, so I ask her to order me a sandwich from down the street (they deliver). I pick out my sandwich, and email her my order with no mayo, no mustard and no dressing (I don't eat condiments, yuck!). After about 45 minutes (this place is a mile away), they deliver our sandwiches. It's now about 1pm and I'm ready to chew my arm off. The receptionist brings it up to my office, I open it, and there is mayo and dressing on it. Eck, I almost ralphed right on my desk. The receptionist takes it and call them to have them make another one. She tells them again, no mayo, no mustard, no dressing. It's now about 1:45 and they bring the new one, takes the old on and leaves. She brings it up to me again, I check it, and it's drenched in dressing! Eck!!! I told her to call them and just have them credit my credit card back. When she does, they ask, "What do you mean dressing?" The freaking menu says the sandwich comes with Italian Dressing.

So, I end up sneaking out of my conference call for 20 minutes to run up to the grocery store to get something for lunch. I grabbed a bowl of watermelon, went to get in my truck, and it won't start! You've got to be fucking kidding me!! No, this can't happen. I have no time for this to happen. My lights are coming on, my dashboard lights are all working, even my stereo works, it just won't start. No clicking, no trying to turn over - A BIG FAT NOTHING!! After about 5 attempts, it starts. Sheez...got through that one.

I get back to the office, jump back on the call, start working on the training I'm developing, and eating my watermelon.

Around 6:00, I had to get out of their quick so I could get to the gym, but I still wasn't done. And I hate working over 8 hours for these fools as they haven't done one damn thing for me. So I figured I would get some of it done at home after going to the Curves. My truck starts fine (thank you!), I get to Curves, do my 30 minutes and go home. I still have shit to do though. I have something that HAS to be shipped UPS today, I really wanted a pedicure before my training this week cause my feet were looking like the Flinstone's, I had emails that still needed to be sent out for next week's training, emails to delegate parts of this project too, and some other little stuff. Not to mention my house is a pig sty and I really wanted to get it cleaned tonight as some friends that are in town for training invited themselves over for this week!!

So, I gather the stuff I need for UPS, and they are closed...I missed them by 15 minutes. So I go down the street to a nail place to get my pedicure. After the day I've had, I need it. I actually have a great pedicure, which is very surprising because I NEVER get a good one at a non-spa place (ok, I was being polite, but ladies you know what I'm talking about). She was detailed, asked if I liked it, fixed what I didn't like, she just did an excellent job! The place closes at 8:00 and I'm out of there at 8:10.

I get in my truck, and it won't start! Damn, this is so embarrassing. Let me remind you, I have a 2001 Ford Explorer. Only 70,000 miles and I keep it up on it's maintenance (thanks Dad!). The people from the nail place were leaving, and I wait for them to leave before I try starting it again....it's just so embarrassing (I can get a pedicure but have a ghetto car).

I continue to attempt to start it, hoping it'll do what it did earlier today. No luck. I call my mom and we try and talk through it (she knows a little bit about cars - family of mechanics). I put the thing in neutral, let it roll back into another part of the parking lot and try to start it...no luck. We get my uncle on 3-way and we are trying to talk through it. He tells me to try to disconnect the battery and reconnect it to reset it...I could not get that sucker off...not with pliers not with a monkey wrench. Meanwhile, people are driving around, staring...but no one stopping. I don't want anyone to stop but I'm disappointed that no one has offered. Hell, I've even pulled over to help a woman change a flat tire, help jump a battery, etc. But no, not here! Meanwhile I'm freaking out! I can't NOT have a car this week...I have training all week. This is just not a good week for crisis.

Everytime someone kind of shady drives by, I close my hood, jump in my truck, and lock the doors. Now, let's see if you can get a feeling for the shopping center I am in. It has a Big Lots, Dollar General, Cash Advance, Mim's Discount Jewlery, H&R Block and a Pet Store. Not the best of areas. In fact, I'm a little scared at this point.

I don't know anyone here in Columbia so I couldn't call anyone to come get me. Then I remember my friends that are in town for the training, try and call them, and can't get a hold of any of them. It's now dark and I'm getting more scared. I open my hood again, looking to see if I can see anything apparently wrong and this old, dirty, freaky guy drives by in a small purple, ghetto ford focus, drives up real close, sticks his head out the window, drives real slow and just stares! I immediately slam my hood, jump in my truck, lock the doors and call my mom. While my mom and I are talking about what I should do, a cop drives by infront of me slowly, I start to flash my lights so he would stop and maybe help me or stay with me, and he keeps driving. I was feeling oh so safe!

I finally, at about 9:00 end up calling the Roadside Assistance. They first ask me if I'm in a safe location. I reply, "Well, I am in a parking lot, but it's not the best of parking lots. The stores are closed, it's dark, and people keep driving by for no apparent reason". She replies with, "Well, do you need a police officer". I told her that one passed by and didn't stop, even after flashing my lights. She left it at that. She got all my info, and told me I would get a call in just a few minutes from an automated system to tell me how long. I get the call, 55 full fucking minutes! I do not live in a big city. I can't comprehend how the nearest tow truck is 55 minutes away.

So, I try to entertain myself by talking to my mom, I called my dad to let him know what was going on, and continued to talk to my mom. I know she was trying to make the time go by faster by talking about her day/week, but it's not helping. Anything she says cannot be worse than what I was going through in that moment (at least in my eyes).

So, as I'm waiting, pimped out cars drive by, an old beat up pick up truck drives by slowly, flashing his lights. I am eaten up by mosquito bites from being outside. It's 90 degrees and humid! AND...I'm in flip flops, PT shorts, a sports bra and a tank top. Oh so attractive!

This whole time, I keep trying to start my truck, just in case it decides to be nice! I'm getting spooked by now. I'm starving, sweaty, tired and pissed...let alone slightly scared of the next car driving by.

9:55 rolls around, and still no tow truck. I'm doing everything I can to not break down in tears. I have to stay in control!! I get a call from the automated system from my Roadside Assistance, asking if my service has arrived yet. Press 1 for yes and 2 for now. I laid down on that 2! They put someone on the line, he again asks me if I'm safe, and I tell him I am getting a little more concerned and explain my surroundings. He calls the tow truck and has the tow truck call me. The guy calls me, and says he's in the shopping center next to Rush's (a burger joint) and can't see me. I let him know he is about 4 miles down the road from where I am. 10:30 rolls around and he shows up. I was so very thankful to see a woman in the car with him. That made me feel a little safer. When he crawls out of his truck, he says, "Man, my stomach hurts" I ask him politely what's wrong and he replies he just had a big meal and that's where he was when the lady called. WHAT!!! Did you stay and finish your freaking meal while I was alone, in the middle of a dark parking lot surrounded my freaks?

He starts to hook up jumper cables to my battery although I am telling him that's not it (as I explain the symptoms) But remember, I don't have a dick. He clamps the jumper cables to my battery, and I'm not quite comfortable with the way he's holding the other end. He's not separating them and it looks like they may touch. Finally, as he's walking over to his truck, I see a spark! Shit...he's going to blow up my truck!

So, he tries jumping it...guess what? It didn't work!!! So now, he listens to me and I tell him the symptoms. He says he bets it's the alternator and that he wishes he had a flashlight to look for it. You are telling me you drive a damn tow truck and don't have a flashlight???? WTF?? He ends up turning his truck around to shine the lights at my truck. At this point, I am a mosquito buffet! I would kill for pants and a long sleeve shirt right now!

He looks around under the hood, crawls on the ground to find the alternator. He goes back to his truck, grabs a big chain with a hook at the end and taps at something underneath the truck (behind my driver's side front tire), tells me to start it.......******AND IT STARTS*******! I must have lost 50lbs of stress at that moment!

I thank him profusely and hurry to get in my truck. I call mom to let her know I'm ok. I call my uncle to tell him what was wrong, and he says it wasn't the alternator, but the starter. He said knocking on the alternator doesn't make sense, but with the starter it does. He tells me I'll be spending about $200 to get it fixed. Eh, I can handle it, but it does suck!

I don't care...I just want to get home. It's now 10:45. I spent 2 1/2 hours in a dark, scary parking lot by myself.

I really need to go to bed before anything else happens. I still haven't eaten dinner, I'm still in my gym clothes, I didn't get any of the work done I needed to, I'm itching like crazy from bites....but screw it...I'm going to bed! I'm safe. Plus I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn.

Everyone cross your fingers that my truck starts in the morning...at least to get me to a repair shop!

Happy Blogmothers Day!!

- VW, Sissy, and Contagion

Linky Lovin' II

Sylph was the Word of the Week for Week #2.

Bou, being the supportive blogmother she is, started Week #2 off with a bang by announcing Sissy's Word of the Week. She then followed by saying that her dreams of being sylph-like were not to be. I don't know what's she's smokin'! Bou's such an over achiever that she uses it again when she says she has made peace with the fact that she's not shaped like a 19 year old sylph (an AWTM coined phrase that I'm sure is now in the BEF dictionary).

My favorite Blog Bruncle doesn't understand how his wife can eat this awesome dessert in a dessert in a dessert and still keep her sylph-like appearance.

Bou also got a new participant on board, David of third world country. He did a little blues diddy about the Anti-Sylph.

Amy gives you a Weight Watchers Recipe to help become or stay a sylph.

Andrew of Custos Honor describes how he dated a co-worker that wasn't a sylph but a banshee.

ArmyWifeToddlerMom writes about how during pilates, she stood behind a very sylph 19 year old and that she wanted to beat her 19 year old sylph ass.

Sarah the Penguin shows off her skill in a poem of sylphs and MILFs.

Blogsis VW is competing with Bou to see who can reach their weight goal first, but doesn't want to be a sylph woman becasue they look anemic.

I feel like I'm missing some people. I try and write sites down as I see the word used, but I often do that, "Oh, I'll remember they used it" and we all know how that goes. So....If I missed anyone's use of the word, let me know and I'll add ya in the Linky Lovin'. The more the merrier!

Please Don't Call

Today was a long and emotional day. About 10:30 tonight, I realized I hadn't eaten, didn't really want to cook and thought it be good to be around people, so I decided to drive across the street to Applebee's and get something.

They sat me at a booth. It's weird enough eating alone, let alone sitting in a huge booth by yourself! I was reading the menu when a guy came over that had been sitting at the bar, and asked if he could join me.

First impression, not too bad. He was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt and a ball cap, about 6 feet tall, brown eyes and a welcoming smile. He sat down and we started talking.

He's 28, in the Navy stationed here in Columbia. (I guess the military radar was turned on and I didn't even know!). The beginning of the conversation was normal. How old are you? Where are you from? What do you do? Are you single? What are you into? etc!

Then it got odd! The guy started talking A LOT!. I felt like a bobble head as much as I was nodding and smiling. I just go with it, realizing he may be nervous. Finally he says to let him know if he talks too much. And that he went on a blind date once and she later told him he needed therapy because he talked so much. I laughed, told him it was fine, and he continued! He was talking a lot, but I figured I could do my psycho scan even faster if he was going through his whole life story.

He tells me that he was married after dating a girl for 3 months. The marriage only lasted 9 months. I figured, no biggy...young, in the military...tons of guys make that mistake. But when he called her his "first wife", I tried my best to hide the expression from my face. I guess the divorce took forever, he dated around, met someone, and married another girl only a month or so after his first divorce. This was wife #2. This woman had a daughter that he grew very attached to. This marriage lasted 3 1/2 years and she left him while he was deployed overseas. Took all his stuff, took the money out of the bank account, etc. He said that he's still paying for what happened and that his shit was repossessed. He now owns a house and is going to get furniture from a friend of his mother's tomorrow.

He dives into detail about his 2nd wife, how he didn't want to know the details of why she left. He didn't want to know if she cheated although that's whatever one said. And he got into the step-daughter. How she wouldn't make time for him to see her and only gave him 4 wallet size photos of her. He scared the shit out of me when he said he thought of his daughter everytime he got in the shower. I was like WTF?!? But then he explained that he has her name tattooed on him. He started talking about his attempts on seeing her, and how he wishes when she turns 18 that she will look for him and how he'll do anything for her. And he starts to cry. What the hell am I supposed to do???? I was not in the mentality, position or frame of mind to comfort him.

Then, all of a sudden, he says, "You know I thought of 2 things when you walked in the door tonight. What it would be like to be with you, do date you and get to know you, and what your head would look like on a stick!"

Immediately, I start looking for my nearest exit and plan my escape route. He then laughs and says it's a quote from a movie, American Psycho. He quotes the movie over and over, laughing and describing the movie in detail, despite the fact that I have said previously that I can't watch gory movies.

Then he starts quoting other movies, such as Spaceballs. However, throughout all of our conversation, he keeps repeating "Oh my Gawd". No, I'm not just spelling it that way, that is actually how he says it the whole night!

I've left out a lot of the detail. The stories he went on and on about. I truly know everything from his high school graduation until now. I know that he went to boot camp the morning after the night he graduated. I know that he always has a girl best friend. I know that in high school, as a senior, he dated a freshman. I know that he wrecked his bike driving it 2000 miles to Vegas. And that one of his girl best friends had to help him financially get to Vegas, pick up his bike and drive it back to Mississippi.

Luckily, Applebee's closes at 12:00am. It's 12:15 and I'm just waiting for someone to kick us out. However, there are still others in the restaurant. Damn! Finally, he says, "I can read your mind". Obviously not or he would have shut the hell up a long time ago. But I allow him to continue and he says, "You're ready to get out of here". I made a joke of how it was past my bed time, and we get up to leave. I tried to say goodbye to him at the door of Applebee's, but he insisted on walking me to my truck. Aw damn! So I hold my key in the stab position, ready to poke his eyes out if need be. I open my truck door and put it between us. He asks for my number and I give it to him....but with the wrong area code and inverted numbers. Oops. Ya know, I've just moved so much, I can never remember what area code I live in!

Holy shit! Not that my day wasn't long enough, but the past hour and a half was longer than my day! The good news is that I've obviously learned something...'cause in the past, I probably would have given this guy a chance. His neon signs were just too damn bright!

Maybe I should have given him this number #770-908-7383 as my phone number.

Word of the Week #2

Living Younger and Healthier

So I guess this show that was on Oprah a few days ago was a big deal as I got 5 phone calls from family and friends asking if I had seen it. Supposedly the book, YOU: The Owners Manual is #1 on all the top seller lists and is now hard to find due to being sold out. Supposedly doctors are getting tons of phone calls and visits asking about some of the solutions and advice that were on the show. Baby aspirin is flying off the shelves because of this one show!

I didn't get to see it until today when I got home and got to watch all my recorded shows. It was an interesting show. I thought I'd share some of the info they did on how to make you Younger and Healthier.

The first segment was about 3 ways to analyze your poop. I know, I know...no, this is not the turd meme going around again.

So this doctor says that you can look for 3 things in 3 minutes:

The Sound-

If you normally hear a "plop, plop", this is not good. It means you are constipated and the food is too hard when it comes out.

You should hear a "swoosh", he says, "It should hit the water like a diver from Acapulco hits the water [swoosh]."

The Shape-

If it is just pieces, it means by the time you finish digesting, there's not enough to poop and this is hurting your Colon.

What it should look like is an S or a banana. This is healthy

The Color-

The color should be normal. (He didn't go into much detail on this one)

He also said that men pass gas 14 times a day (no surprise!). But, do you know how many times a woman passes gas? 14! And he said that only 1% of this smells.

So...the ways to help these little issues?? There are a few that I will mention in a little bit...but I'm the Water Nazi so of course I'm going to say DRINK WATER!!! Water helps everything clean out of your system and meet the standards mentioned above. Not to mention it does so much more! It clears your complexion, cures hunger pangs, gives you more energy, helps minimize wrinkles and tons of stuff I don't even know about. Yes, the daily amount is 64 oz. Ya know what, just grab a damn litter bottle of water and make sure you are done with it by the end of the day. BTW, for each can of soda you drink, ya better add another glass of water.

Another way to help this out is by eating Whole Grains. They recommend at least 3 servings of whole grains a day. It can't be just wheat...it's gotta be whole grain. Supposedly steel cut whole grains are great. They have a crunchy texture, low in calories and help drag your stuff out of your system. I've never had them...but they are supposed to be the ultimate whole grain. Whole Grains are also supposed to help prevent heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. They say that whole grains help flush fat and cholesterol out of your system and provide powerful antioxidants that help you stay healthier, look younger and live longer.

And then obviously Fiber (25 grams a day) and Magensium (400 mg a day), especially for women who take calcium supplements.

The doctor on the show made a shocking statement that 90% of the people in that audience had cancer (this part confused me a little bit...something about how cancer forms). Then he said there were 3 things we could do to decrease our risk of cancer by 50%: Folate, Vitamin D (skim milk and orange juice), and two baby aspirin. The doctor also said that tomatoes were great for fighting cancer because of the lycopene. However, to really reap the benefits, the tomatoes have to be cooked. So, bring on the tomato sauce!

Ok, there was tons of other good stuff on the show, but I'm not going to go through it all. I'm just going to go through a quick list of things we should look into and what they do for us.

Magnesium
- helps fight cancer
- keeps bowels moving
- 400 mg a day
- Beets, raisins, Soybeans and Dates

Fiber
- keeps bowels moving and cleans our "system"
- Artichokes, Lima Beans, Soybeans, Grapefruit, Blackberries and Raspberries contain high fiber.
- Whole Grain Breads and Cereals
-

Folate
- Fights Cancer
- Helps Blood Pressure
- Found in Orange Juice, Spinach and other leafy green vegetables
- 800 mcg a day

Vitamin D
- Helps fight cancer
- Non-Fat milk, orange juice
- Those that live in northern latitudes need more Vitamin D as it comes from the sun. Also those that have darker skin color need more Vitamin D as darker skin is it's own natural SPF.

Potassium
- Helps Blood Pressure
- You can find it in things like bananas and watermelon

Coffee (yes, coffee - if you don't get bad side effects)
- Helps fight liver cancer
- Helps with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's Disease
- Helps bowel movements
- 24 oz of coffee a day is a reasonable amount

Aspirin
- Helps against Heart disease
- Decreases inflammation of the skin and wrinkles (AHA also helps with this)
- Helps against Cancer (even Breast Cancer)
- Should start taking it at age 40 for women and 35 for men if there is no cancer in your family before the age of 50.
- Should start taking it at age 25 if there is more than 2 instances of cancer before the age of 40.

Another thing said was that when changing habits, if done for 3 years you get 90% of the benefit.

So take this all with a grain of salt (please, not literally). Search online, go read some of the stuff on it, talk to your doctor, whatever you want to do. I just don't want to see a post in a year that says you have not been able to get off the toilet since reading this because I messed up and put 25000 grams of fiber a day rather than 25.

Harvey's Car

During my travels this week, I saw this car driving the streets. Much to my surprise, I saw Harvey behind the wheel. I knew he had an obsession, but damn!

Harvey's Boobmobile 

I Can't Wait To Go Home...

...to bail Kiki out of jail and take her home.

...to watch my recorded TV shows.

...to sleep in my own bed.

...to wake up without an alarm clock.

...to return to warm weather (yes, Kill Me, TX was freezing cold!)

...to lay on my couch and hibernate.

...to blog some stuff in the comfort of my home.

...to drive my truck versus catching the hotel shuttle everywhere.

...to catch up on reading some blogs on my blogroll.

...to not have to live out of my suitcase and my toiletry bag.

Things I will miss...

...having my bed made everyday when I come back from work.

...having the newspaper delivered to my door each morning.

...a great Embassy breakfast each morning! Mmmmm

...the Managers Reception (aka Happy Hour)

...being greeted by two very yummy hotel employees.

...having the two yummy hotel guys chauffeur me around Kill Me.

...having flat screen TVs on the machines in the Fitness Center.

...Room Service!

Yeah, I'm going home!

05-05-05

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, I thought we'd have a little Spanish Lesson:

Necesito una cervesa - I need a beer

Necesito ir al baño - I need to go to the bathroom

Necesito una siesta - I need a nap

Su abuela usa cargadores del combate - Your grandma wears combat boots

Deje por favor van de mi asno - Please let go of my ass

Si parecían eso - Should it look like that

Mi asno se arde - My ass is on fire

¿Cuánto por hora? - How much per hour?

¿Nos casan? - Are we married?

No más de tequila - No more tequila

Ése es todo lo que sé - That is all I know

No puedo pensar en cualquier cosa - I can't think of anything else

A Shitty Meme

My Blogmom Bou has 3 sons and cannot bring herself to say the word TURD. She grew up on military bases, hearing vulgarities thrown around by passing service men, I'm sure, and can't say TURD. She is part of the Bad Example Family and cannot say the word TURD.

I would usually tease and hassle her relentlessly for this; however, she has other, BETTER great vulgar words in her vocabulary...so she get's a pass...for now!

However, I have no issue...so I take on thismeme with open arms (but a closed nose).

So what I'm supposed to do is:

1) Write a lil ditty built upon the phrase "turd in a punchbowl".

2) Spread the lil meme to three others.

So, let's break it down for a moment:

I'd like to hear a lil diddy from Bloggrandpa Harvey, new Bad Example Family member Aris_Ravencroft, and the brilliant vulgarities of ArmyWifeToddlerMom.

Good luck folks!

#1 for Cooking???

Ok, I figured I might be #1 for some things, but never cooking!!

click to enlarge

Ok, so I'm #1 out of 559,000 for "mud cookies"; one of the few things I can make. Who would've thunk it!

Here We Go Again Update

If you remember, yesterday when I was bitching about flying to Kill Me, TX again, I said, "Who knows, maybe I'll get another free voucher from Crappinental!".

Well, guess what?!? I should be in a plane right not to Kill Me, but again they were overbooked, so I got ANOTHER voucher. This time $250.

So, I get to hang out in the Houston Airport for the next 2 hours catching up on blogs. Thank God this place has Wi-Fi, even if it was $9.95!

Let's see if I can get another voucher on my way back. I may have another business going here!

I'm On Fire

Damn Otto Titsling!

I woke up this morning and left my cool to the skin, soft sheets. I'm burnt! I mean red and in odd places! The tops of my feet, my legs (both front and back) the back and front of my thighs, my whole back, the back of my neck, my underarms, forearms, my face, and my ass! Yes, my ass is burnt! Now I'm going to have that skunk look going on (women who go to the tanning bed, you know exactly what I'm talking about!) And I spent the morning trying to cover up with make-up the little thin line from my eyes to my temple from the sun goggles.

When Otto made the over-the-shoulder boulder holder, he did not keep in mind that women would sometimes lay out in the sun and try to catch themselves on fire!

This should be an interesting flight this morning. No one better sit by me and no one better touch me or their lives will be in danger.

This is what happens when I go to the tanning bed like normal after my workout,and then go lay outside for a while by the pool.

*Puts on stupid hat*

I guess I should wear this for the day!

Why We Question Men's Maturity....

Wishful Thinking

I bet he made multiple copies of this picture

He's gotta tough job

Who's your daddy?

See, that stuff is bad for you! Look what it does to your body!

This guy went home from vacation with a new piercing! 

What Age Do You Act?

This was no freaking surprise! Everyone is always surprised when I tell them how old I am. Napster says I have an old soul. Morrigan says I need to live my twenties. Bou is flipping out because she thinks she's old enough to be my mother. Well, here's what this damn quiz says about my age. Thanks Oddybobo

Here We Go Again!!

I leave again Monday at 6am for Kill Me, TX. I am dreading it as usual, however, I do have something to look forward to. I get to see Napster! Napster and Cowboy moved to Kill Me last week. So as I may despise going to Kill Me...at least I'll have something to look forward every time I do go.

Who knows, maybe I'll get another free voucher from Crappinental! I do know this! I am a moron and laid out in the sun a little longer than I should have, again, which should make the flight quite interesting!

This week is going to be interesting. I'm getting certified in 3 classes. The thing is, usually when you are certified in a class, you get to participate and/or observe the class first! Hmm, not so much this time! The act of being certified usually involves a present back...where you facilitate a portion of the class to the other trainers. I may be a trainer, but I am an introvert and still get nervous in front of my peers! So this, along with never seeing this class before....I may come back to SC with grey hair!

So, I really should have gone to bed like 2 hours ago, but I slept until noon today and won't be ready for bed for a while! AND, I still need to pack. Damn, I hope I have clean stuff to pack. I should have thought about this. I went shopping today hoping to find new clothes to wear for the trip...no luck.

Wow, a totally random thought...I am turning more red by the minute! This afternoon it looked like I hardly got any sun at all. The red is slowly coming to the surface. My face looks like a raccoon. Partly from wearing sunglasses when lying on my back in the sun, and partly from wearing those damn goggles in the tanning booth. I'm going to have to use some make-up magic this week!

Linky Lovin'

Amalgamate was the Word of the Week for Week #1.

Blog Mom Bou used it to describe how her blog seems to be nothing more than an amalgamation of kid posts.

Blog Bruncle Contagion says that his ship, The Bonnie Flora, would be manned with an amalgamation of Celts.

Ogre took the easy way out and used the word of the week for the Day of Random.

Blog Sis VW also took the cheap way out and used it for the Day of Random.

Sarah the Penguin was able to use it while describing her vacation, "The trip so far has managed to amalgamate bizarre animal behavior, potato salad addiction and power tools.

The following took on the Word of the Week in the comments:

_Jon

Harvey

Machelle

Aris_Ravencroft

I figured the majority of the Bad Example Family would relate this to sex somehow. We were not dissapointed!

If I missed anyone's use of the word, let me know and I'll add ya in the Linky Lovin'. The more the merrier!