Hangin' with my Spawn

Didn't see much of Spurs, Napster, or myself last night?

That's because we were out drinking it up in the belly button of America!

Ended up at a country bar. Napster got me on the dance floor....that means I was drunk.

"Sissy is drunk" verb/ = 1. Sissy is dancing. 2. Sissy is singing. 3. Sissy is talking/flirting with random people. 4. Sissy is telling stuff about herself that she really shouldn't.

The definitions go on!

I tell ya, you can't have more fun then hanging out with these two! Had Morrigan to the picture, and you are having the time of your life!

All I can say is I wish I would have been a little less drunk to borrow TNT's quote pen! Oh the things these kids come up with! I'm so proud! You know you have good blogspawn when they make you a to-go cup for the ride!

Blog Crawl Note

Wow, I think we did some damage last night. My family blog roll stopped working and I had to go over to Mom's and use hers.

I'm currently going around checking out all the damage. Hope you all have blog insurance!

Drunk Food

Time for Awful House!!!!!!!

Eat it like a Vulture!

Take my thong off and my ass go boom!

Who is this?

SOBER EDIT: These were the lyrics to a song that Spurs was dancin' to for those of you not down wit it!

Blog Crawl

If you like pina coladas....

Blog Crawl...Bunch of Wussies

Ok, so Napster, Spurs, Morrigan and I are here...where the hell is everyone else? We still have a 30 pack of beer and a ton of vodka!!!

Off to the Belly Button of America!!

I have 4 hours until I should be waking up to get on a plane to Kill Me (TLTTFG), TX. And I'm still not finished packing! I've been running around all day!

I got laundry done, but it'll have to wait until I get back to put away.

I got some unpacking done, but the two boxes of trash will have to wait until I get back.

Bathroom, vacuuming, etc....all when I get back!

I hate leaving a dirty house!

I also hate leaving a dirty blog. I have tons of maintenance to do....but no time at the moment. So if you notice the different size fonts or the bad links, please close your eyes! I'll get them fixed ASAP!

But, it's all worth it. Because Napster will be picking up at the airport! Yeah!! Napster, Spurs and I will be celebrating her birthday and the Blog Crawl together!

Hell, I may even have a margarita on the plane! :-)

A Woman's Razor!

Okay Ladies!

The new Schick Quattro for Women is definitely worth the purchase!

The four blades make it easy to shave, not having to go over the same place twice. The razor feels heavy and durable. The handle is a better shape and makes it an easier angle to shave.

Definitely the best I've used! There's a deal at Target right now with the razor and 4 additional cartridges for $8.00.

Or, GO HERE and try one for free.

All Wireless

So my blogmom hates her wireless keyboard. But it was a gift, and she uses it.

Me, on the other hand, LOVES WIRELESS!

I have wireless internet, allowing me to take my laptop anywhere in the house and blog!

A wireless keyboard, allowing me to sit comfortably and blog.

A wireless mouse, allowing me to relax and blog surf.

I had purchased a wireless print server so my printer would be wireless. But alas, it's not compatiable with my printer. Maybe next time!

Happy Birthday Napster!!!

Today is Spur's wife and my great friend, Napster's birthday!

Although I can't be with her today, (and after this post I DON'T WANNA BE THERE!! ;-) ), I decided I'd post one of her birthday presents below!

I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and I can't wait to see you guys this weekend!

Blog Crawl 2005

Oh, is the blogosphere in trouble!

I can already tell you that Spurs, Napster and I are gearing up! I will be at there place (after the bar at least) for the event and they have a router all set up and ready to go!

Do you want to know the rules? GO HERE!!

Everybody else is doing it!! GO ENJOY THE DRUNKEN FUN!!

Happy Birthday Tammi!!!

It's Tardsday!

What's Tardsday?

(April 2002, Florida)
There was an old bridge was still standing, but falling apart at the seams. The construction company was responsible for removing it and building a new bridge over the small river. The whole area was plastered with "Road Closed" signs, and barricaded to prevent through-traffic.

One night, two women encountered the blockade but instead of taking the detour, they assessed the bridge and decided that it looked okay to cross. They hopped out of their car, moved the barricades, returned to the car, and started to drive across the decrepit bridge.

They did not make it more than half-way.

According to the accident report, they bumped across a few "potholes" in the bridge (which were holes passing through in the roadbed) until finally the car jammed in a hole, tilted and immobile no matter how they revved the engine. The driver's door was against the rail, but the passenger could and did open her door and step out of the car… and disappear. The driver also climbed out the passenger side, and likewise plunged through the hole in the bridge, falling ten feet to land beside the passenger in the river below.

Both women were now standing in waist-deep water, and had to choose between walking to shore or swimming to the barge anchored further out in the river. Inexplicably they chose to make for the barge. The river had been dredged deeper to accommodate the construction barge, and so, before the passenger could reach the barge… she disappeared, this time underwater.

The driver soon followed.

They both slid under the barge, and the passenger drowned. The driver was able to swim to the surface, and she later sued the construction company for wrongful death. The matter was settled out of court.

Don't Touch My Bone

Need a good laugh?

Watch this dog attack his own appendage!

Video Hosting

We all know about the great Image Shack>for free image hosting and Harvey's image hosting tips.

Well, now we have FREE VIDEO HOSTING at Zippy Videos. So far, like Image Shack, I see no catches. VERY easy to use, it's free, doesn't even make you link to them. It does allow others to randomly see your video so keep your sex tapes out of there - unless you are wanting to increase traffic to your blog!

See the post here to see an example of the final product.

The Battle Continues

Promiscuous Test

I am 56% Promiscuous.

I like sex and have a healthy sex life. I get just enough and know how to use my sexuality. Some people might have a problem, but that is their problem not mine. They just need to get more.

Take the
Promiscuous Test
@ FualiDotCom

Bank Hassle

I get a letter from my bank that says the following:

You may have recently read or heard about a security breach at a company that processes debit and credit card transactions for thousands of merchants. We have been advised by this processor that your Check Card may have been compromised as a result.......

[Something about they are monitoring my account and nothing unusual has happened]

To ensure that you are completely protected from fraudulent activity, we have issued you a new Check Card. ....receive new pin....in a few days...Your old card will remain active until Monday, 8 August 2005. Please destroy your old card once your new PIN is received and you have successfully activated your new card.

It goes on to tell me they understand that this may be an inconvenience however my account security is their first priority. I'm not responsible for unauthorized charges....so on and so forth.

Now first, let me explain, I LOVE my bank! Truly! I have been a member for 11 years and will never change. No problems, good interest rates, good people running the place. The only issue...there aren't a lot of round. It's a military credit union, so you have to be near a base to go to a branch.

I want to get mad. I hate the fact that I have to call EVERYONE I have set up on automatic payment to switch this account number. I have everything on automatic so I don't have to deal with it! I HATE balancing checkbooks, I HATE doing budgets, I HATE paying bills. So if you want your money, YOU take it out of my account each month. Yea, not the most responsible thing. But my shit gets paid.

But I can't get mad because I appreciate the fact that they are proactive in protecting me.

But I want to get mad...really really bad!

Another Grown-up Question

I open the fridge to see that I had put down steaks last night.

Hmmm....I should probably do something with them

Can I refreeze them? Can they sit in the fridge for another day? Should I cook them and save them to microwave later?

When did I buy these?

Sell by: April 26th 2005

Hmmm...I'm thinking no good...but the jury is out until my mom calls me back or one of you frantically attack my comments with "DON'T EAT THAT!"

Sissy vs. The Oven!

We all know by now that I do not cook. So the thought of me using the oven is probably quite humorous.

Well, I use it from time to time. Tostinos Pizza, french fries, etc.

The past few times I've used it, it would smoke. Not just a little bit, I mean seeping through the stove burners, making me cough, setting off the smoke detector, smoke.

So I stopped using it.

I'm running out of food and refuse to go grocery shopping until I get back from Kill Me, TX in a week. I have a Tostinos Pizza, french fries, tater tots, and some Betty Crocker Baking meals. Everything I have must go in the oven. I don't even have Ramen! That's sad!

I call my mom to prepare myself for this new task. I have NEVER cleaned an oven before. I don't think I've ever lived anywhere long enough to dirty one up. She's scaring me that I better use gloves or the Easy Off will eat through my skin and all this other stuff. So, I read the instructions on the Easy Off that I bought several months ago when I knew I needed to clean the oven. I take the racks out and spray it all in there. It says to leave it in there for 20 minutes, or 24 hours for a really good cleaning.

I left it in for 48 hours. Not because I wanted it REALLY clean, but because I'm lazy as hell!

So today, I come home but have a conference call I need to be on. This thing is lasting forever, so about after an hour when I start to get hungry, I decide I should finish cleaning the oven.

While on the conference call, I'm in the background with a bucket of water, a sponge and paper towels, cleaning and scrubbing the oven. Talk about multi-tasking!

2 1/2 hours later, the call is over and I'm ready to cook something. I put aluminum foil on the bottom of the oven so I never have this problem again. However, I forgot to clean the racks. So I call my mom again. She tells me to put them in trash bags, spray them with Easy Off, and tie them up for about 20 minutes....all outside. She again gives me the gloves reminder. I told her I had no issue doing the oven without gloves and asked if she was sure. She said it happened to her, and she knew you must wear gloves.

Well, I took care of the racks, WITHOUT gloves. I brought them in and scrubbed them down really good. That was harder than cleaning the damn oven! I insert the racks and then realize I better get started on something to eat.

I preheat the oven and throw the pizza in there. Then I start smelling something. I check the Easy Off can to be sure there's no warning about how long to wait after cleaning the thing.

I call my mom. I asked her if I was going to blow up the apartment complex or die of carbon monoxide poisoning because I started cooking right away. She said it should smell like that the next few times I use it.

What about my pizza? She said it should be ok as long as there was nothing to drip on it.

SO! I will be watching for symptoms tonight of my flesh burning or me becoming sick from pizza infested Easy Off.

I don't think I'd make a good housewife.

D is for Dumb Part II

I got home today, practically ran into my apartment due to the heat. Threw off my shoes, and realized I left my mail in the truck.

I walked outside....on the pavement....with no shoes. It was too late to turn back.

I got to my truck, saw that my mail wasn't there, and realized, I had it under my arm THE WHOLE TIME!!

Did I mention it hit 112 degrees today?

Excuse me while I go soak my feet in cold water.

I swear...I am getting more blonde!

D for Dumb

I've decided to change Word of the Week to Spelling of the Week.

I don't know what the hell my problem is, but my spelling has been absolutely ridiculous lately. Simple words! I'm not a dumb person. And in the past, I've been great at spelling. What's going on?

My brain is making up it's own language!

I wish there was spellcheck here at munu. And yes I know, type it in Word or Notepad Lite. I'll never learn. For some reason, I just prefer to do it in here.

So I think I will put a spelling warning up on my blog. Rated D for DUMB!

Does Jello Go Bad?

I guess the competition is still on. Damn! Although, I think all of use feel behind

I am way behind. Using travel, my birthday, not feeling well, and any other excuse to eat what I want and not exercise.

I'm scared. I have to weigh in Friday at Curves.

So this week is be good week to at least show I've maintained and not gained.

I'm scared.

I had the munchies, I had pickles! That's going to get old quick.

I had a sweet tooth, I grabbed a Sugar Free, 10 calorie Jello.

As I took a bite, I noticed it was unusually "runny". Not bad, just a little bit.

There's an expiration date on the side. March 23, 2005

Hmmm....

Does jello go bad?

But I Don't Have To Tell You That...

I was getting my semi-annual review from my director today, when something she said struck me odd. She gave all these compliments on the things I have done and then said, "But I don't have to tell you that, you already know."

FLAG!

Do I? She's never told me before.

I know I have a personal fault in doubting myself until I get confirmation in a job well done. I can't help it.

But this made me wonder, how often do we do this in our personal lives?

To not tell someone we miss them because we think they already know...
To not tell someone they look great today because we think they already know...
To not tell someone they were a huge help or support because we think they know...
To not tell someone how wonderful they are because we think they know...
To not tell someone that we appreciate that simple phone call because we think they know...
To not tell someone that we are proud of them because we think they know...
To not tell someone we love them because we think they know...

I'm sure you get the point!

I had to let her know that I need that feedback and reinforcement. And I would work on minimizing my necessity on that if she could work on giving it a little more. (considering this was the 1st time I heard it in 6 months) She said that since I was so self-motivated, she assumed I didn't need that. But she can see where she can improve.

So my thought is, if you are thinking it, and it would make the other person feel good, then say it. I'm not sure you can ever say too many positive things to someone.

Isn't It Funny...

Isn't it funny how the quick, couple of sentence posts that you just pull out of your ass surprise you sometimes with more comments then the posts you put thought into?

Or am I the only one? :-)

Scalp Burn

Yesterday, I had my hair up in 2 french braided pigtails. Hair must stay off the neck in the summer!

I went to the pool to swim and lay out for a little bit.

I have one burnt streak on my scalp.

It itches and it hurts.

Ouch.

*UPDATE*

Burned Scalp + Hot Shower = Hurts Like a Bitch

I'm not too bright!

Word of the Week #13

Linky Lovin' XII

This week's word was demarcate.

That 1 Guy looked up this week's word in the Redneck dictionary and gave us an example sentence of "When in need of supplies, one usually goes to demarcate." But then used it in it's true form in Death of an Artist.

Bou will not tolerate her kids wearing dirty clothes. My solution? But the kids duplicates :-)

Prochein Amy was able to write a whole post with this week's word. She get's bonus points!

Oh, you didn't know I was taking score huh?!

Now that I have my desk up, I have a "Blog Notebook" just to write myself a note whenever I see someone use the Word of the Week that has not seen Harvey's Trackback Tips.

Hmmm, what word should I choose for this week?

Up for Sale

While I was unpacking today, I found 4 figurines that belonged to the dude who was living with me while still married. That was 3 years ago. He's had plenty of time to claim them. He's the dummy who left them (along with his Marine Corps Dress Blues, Cammies, etc in which I donated to Saigon Sams).

So, what to do with these? They are cute!

I'd love to keep them, but it feels weird to do so. I've got plenty of patriotic and Marine Corps memorabilia. So...

They are now listed on EBay! The money made will be used as a donation to support our troops.

Hmmm, I wonder if he might see them. :-)

Never Under Estimate Me! - Updated

I am staying up late tonight to get stuff done! One of things I did today was buy a desk.

The guy is loading it in my truck and says, "Make sure you have help carrying this in."

I laughed and said I would be doing it on my own. He said that it wasn't that cheap stuff, it was heavy. There was no way I could do it on my own.

Hmmm...that sounds like a challenge.

I have lived on my own, by myself for the past 6 years. I have moved on my own, driven cross country on my own, loaded and unloaded Uhauls on my own. I will ALWAYS find a way!

So I get home and back my truck into it's spot. I drag the huge box from the back and realize it is a little heavier than I thought. But I had no choice, I had to get it in the house! Wouldn't do me a lot of good sitting in the truck!

So, I dragged it about 10 feet. The bottom of the box is now tore up....but no biggy. Then I did the "lean on one corner walk" until I got down the 3 stairs to my front door.

Never tell me I can't do something!

I have the instructions out, getting ready to put the thing together, and it says:

To make the assemble easier and more pleasant, ask a friend to help you! 2 people required !

*Update*

It is done! And with only ONE person!

Tammi- There's 3 extra pieces. I'll bring them for the bonfire next time I'm up there. Don't tell Teresa ;-)

Time Travel by Music

The first cassette tape I owned was Cyndi Lauper's She's So Unusual.

My second was Peter Cetera's Solitude/Solitaire.

This was the kind of music I was listening to when I was in elementary school. Seeing as Solitude/Solitaire was released in 1986, that would have made me 5.

The reason why I wanted this tape? The song Glory of Love from The Karate Kid II.

I can still remember all the lyrics to that whole album! But there was one song on there I absolutely loved.

I had my Launchcast Player going and Daddy's Girl by Peter Cetera came on.

Whoa! Talk about halting in my tracks! It was like an instant time machine back to being in my room listening to this tape, singing up a storm and playing with my Barbie Dream House (with elevator!). Too weird!

The lyrics are cool, so I thought I'd share them. I guess I've always been a daddy's girl.

When the sun goes down
and it's getting late
You say it's time for bed
She just takes her time
Acting like she never heard a word you said.

Little baby wanna hold you tight
She don't ever wanna say good night
She's a lover, she wanna be Daddy's Girl.

When the morning comes
And it's time to go start another day
She won't let you leave, and she does her best
To try to make you stay.

Pretty baby gonna start to cry
She don't ever wanna say good bye
She's a lover, she wanna be Daddy's Girl.

She don't ever wanna be without you.
Never have to worry she won't doubt you.
Then she puts her head upon your shoulder.
Says she'll marry you when she get older.

When the time has come, and she's old enough
To be on her own
She won't understand why you're feelin' sad
Cause she's leaving you all alone.

Little woman gonna make you cry
You don't ever wanna say good bye
She's a lady, she'll always be Daddy's Girl.

Little woman gonna break your heart
Gonna miss her when you're both apart
She's a lady, but she'll always be Daddy's Girl.
She'll always be Daddy's Girl...

And yes, I used to tell my dad I was going to marry him. He still reminds me of that sometimes when he thinks I'm growing up too fast.

On Launchcast now is Journey, one of my all time favorite bands! Looks like today is a day for some time travel!

Family Feud - UPDATED

I was playing Family Feud Online and lost on this question:

I can't believe this stumped me...how sad!

There are 7 answers...let's see if ya'll can get them. I'll post their answers this weekend.

*UPDATE*

100 people were surveyed...let's see what they came up with...

Unanswered Prayers

My stepmom called on my birthday to tell me I had a package coming. She said that it was all in fun and that I would take it one of two ways; I'd laugh or I'd get mad.

I got it the other day. There was a letter stating what she had said on the phone and that her feelings wouldn't be hurt if I threw it away.

Hahahah! I LOVED IT!! And I just have to share it! (BTW, not the highest quality pictures as I had to take pictures of what she did. But you'll get the point)

The wallet she put the album in. It says "Special Memories"

The Album Cover

The next page is the lyrics to Garth Brooks' Unanswered Prayers. In case you are not a country fan or have never heard the lyrics, here they are:

Unanswered Prayers by Garth brooks

Just the other night at a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school falme
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grand me this wish I wised back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had change me in her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk abou tthe old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Want to see what else was in the album...

What my stepmom wrote is in quotations.

"First true boyfriend"
(This is at homecoming my freshman year. We were together for 2 years)

"Sharing a special moment together!"
(We were at a Patty Loveless/Clay Walker concert for 4th of July)

(His Junior Prom my freshman year)

"Went to Senior Prom with Tony" "Was very excited when he asked" "He was a really nice guy but very shy"
(Obviously, my taste in men improved with this one)

"First boyfriend brought home for Christmas!" "Sis#2 still talks about Tim!"
(Okay, this was Christmas morning. The whole blogosphere knows what I look like when I wake up now)

"Attended Marine Corps Ball with Tim"
(Damn, thos Dress Blues can make anyone look good!)

(Yes, that is a gun he's holding)

There's one boyfriend missing that I brought home for Christmas. I think the whole family is trying to forget him!

And Reality Has Set In

About a month ago, I was accepted to University of South Carolina. My A.A. is done but it's time to start working on my B.A.

We had the debate a few months ago about continuing my education at University of Phoenix - Online or go to a live classroom.

University of Phoenix

Pros

F is for...

LONDON (Reuters) - The word "fail" should be banned from use in British classrooms and replaced with the phrase "deferred success" to avoid demoralizing pupils, a group of teachers has proposed.

Members of the Professional Association of Teachers (PAT) argue that telling pupils they have failed can put them off learning for life.

A spokesman for the group said it wanted to avoid labeling children. "We recognize that children do not necessarily achieve success first time," he said.

"But I recognize that we can't just strike a word from the dictionary," he said.

The PAT said it would debate the proposal at a conference next week.

In 50 years, they will be banning the phrase "deferred success" to avoid demoralizing pupils.

I'm Changing My Name!

I'm #1 when searching for:

sissy maid humiliation training stories stepmom

NICE! For some reason, the name Sissy is associated with weird sexual fantasies, searching for videos and tips.

I'm sure they are dissapointed when the only thing they see is a picture of two lizards mating.

I Could Spit Fire

This was on our local news a few months ago:

(Columbia) March 29, 2005 - A Columbia woman says she thought she was doing the right thing when she found an injured dog, but now she feels responsible for its death.

Michelle McFadden took her dog Wimper in after she found her wandering in the middle of a busy road, "I could never find her owners and I took it as she was meant to be mine."

It's the tale of another dog that crossed her path that's hitting Michelle really hard, "I know now that I messed up by calling Animal Control."

Michelle was driving on a road in Orangeburg Easter Sunday when she saw a dog hit by a car, but alive. After a number of phone calls, and miscommunication she says Animal Control picked the dog up seven hours later and put it to sleep that night it was indeed.

Officer Eddie Haigler says that's policy for injured animals, "Yes it was. Any injured animal we get is euthanized."

If it's hurt at all, Animal Control doesn't consider getting it treated or healed, they just automatically put it to sleep.

Last year, Orangburg Animal Control took in 7,000 strays and 90 percent of them were put down, injured or not, "Just because we do euthanize animals, don't think it doesn't get to us. That's a high stress level."

With only 30-odd kennels and a limited budget, Officer Haigler says it's the only way, "We try to do the best we can with what we got, and what we have to work with what we have, unfortunately."

Michelle says, when she found out they were going to kill it, "I said I'd get in the car and come right now."

But Animal Control says they only release animals to owners, with no exceptions.

It's a lesson Michelle says she learned the hard way, and one she won't forget, "I learned don't call Animal Control and I learned to make sure your dog has some kind of ID."

I hate it! I hate that they won't try and find homes for these animals. To kill a dog after one night of being there? I understand there is money and budgets, etc....but this next part is what has me spitting fire!

As I was watching the news tonight, there was a woman that was wanting to take 2 dogs from Animal Control to keep them from being euthanized. She already had 1 dog, had a huge yard for them to play in, no kids. They told her they only release dogs to their owners. And after 5 days, the dog is euthanized.

WTF? You are telling me you will kill a dog before letting it be adopted? What's the harm in letting someone take the dog. They are the ones bitching they don't have enough money to support these stray dogs and they don't have enough room to house them. So.....LET THEM GO HOME WITH A FAMILY!

I can't think of any reason for this. No reason at all! Supposedly this law is being questioned with our mayor. What do I need to do? Who do I need to write to? Who do I need to bitch at to get such a stupid law changed?

I'm going to my mom's this weekend. All I want to do is hold Kiki and let her know she is loved. She was a stray and the thought that animal control could have just killed her because she was a stray just makes me want to throw up!

It's just sick!

Horny Lizards

These are the pictures my mom sent to my phone while I was in the middle of class:

From the magnificent mile to horny lizards...

The female was changing colors right in the middle of it!

I'm glad they are being entertained down their in the swamp lands.

It's Tardsday!

What's Tardsday?

A middle-aged man complained of abdominal pain and rectal bleeding. He claimed to be unaware of any reason he should be presenting such symptoms, but during his examination the physician discovered a coat hanger protruding from the patient's rectum.

The charge nurse called the Intensive Care nurses to announce a patient coming from the ER who had undergone an emergency bowel resection. The nurses speculated about possible reasons someone might require emergency bowel surgery, until finally, the phone rang again. They sat in rapt silence while the report nurse filled the other nurses in on the details of this unfortunate soul's plight.

The man, when questioned, admitted he had inflicted the injury upon himself.

Earlier that night, while his wife was at work, he was "pleasuring himself" when he impulsively pushed an uncooked egg into his anus. When he "lost it up there," he panicked and tried to fish it out with a coat hanger.

The hanger became snagged.

At this point he decided that the vibration from the motorcycle ride might dislodge the whole mess from his nether region. It did not.

Finally, in growing pain, he rode his motorcycle to the ER.

The physician removed the coat hanger and repaired his intestines.

After an hour, the man's wife arrived. Minutes later, she stormed out of his room and demanded to be informed what had happened. The nurses told her she needed to discuss that with her husband. "He said he didn't know!" she answered. "He said the medical staff wouldn't tell him anything!"

She was politely, but firmly, instructed to speak to the man's physician.

Maybe One Day

I was going to bed, but Bou got me thinking with this post. Out of everyone, she usually makes me think the most...she'll learn to stop that one day.

When I was in Jr. High and High School, I always wanted kids. I babysat all the time, played with the kids in the neighborhood, and loved being with my sisters. One of my fondest memories is holding sis#2 in my arms, swaying back and forth. She felt safe enough to fall asleep in my arms and I felt genuine unconditional love in its purest form, from a child.

I wanted to be a teacher. For several years, everyone knew, "Sissy's going to be a teacher". I had a way with kids. When I came home after my first year of college, I knew I wasn't going to be a teacher. I had screwed up (failed my first year).

After that, I was less giving and more taking. I wanted to be free, with no ties or schedule. I was living with people that were the same way. Selfish. And "friends" that did have kids complained. Complained they were tied down, could never go out and couldn't accomplish what they wanted to do. I saw how difficult it was for them to raise another life while still learning about life themselves. Although they complained, the child is the one who suffered.

I never heard anyone say "I don't want kids" until I met a friend in Yuma. She was very open about it. This is when I thought, in my young naive age, that she knew what she was talking about.

I was becoming a successful woman. She had a husband and they had fun all the time, going out, buying new things, partying. I thought that life looked cool. I joined in that life to an extent (a good part of the reason I moved east later).

So, I had made up my mind I wasn't having kids. I liked them, but wasn't having them. I had too many things I wanted to do with my life. I have gone as far as to tell my mom not to hold her breath and that sis #1 would have kids before I ever did.

Not just that, but I saw some of the people that shouldn't be bringing kids into the world. I know my background. I was scared if I was this selfish, it wouldn't go away if I had a kid. And I couldn't do that.

Since I have moved from that scene, I have come to realize that my career is not my life, my friends are not my life, partying is not my life. It scares me, but there will come a time where I will want to share all this love I have with another person. I will want to bring someone into the world that will have a good heart.

So as "tough" as I may try to be in the fact that I want to be independent and successful and that a family doesn't fit into the picture. What a bunch of crock!

The idea is that I want to be ready. I want to be mentally ready; financially ready, even physically ready. I want to have lived the world some so I can pass on the value of being open and willing to experience beyond what you can physically see.

So maybe it's the muscle relaxers talking, or maybe it's seeing mothers out there I admire, prove my original thoughts wrong and give me a new perspective. But one day, it'll happen, and I'll look back at the things I've seen, the stories I've read and heard and have hope for the type of families that are possible.

Coyote Ugly Pictures

While in Denver last week, we got the opportunity to go to Coyote Ugly. We were still in business attire and had just went to dinner.

All the bouncers were wearing shirts that said BMF on the back with steel toed boots.

The bartenders were fun and full of smart ass remarks. I went up to the bar to order drinks and a guy that looked like creepy snitch from Erin Brokovich asked me if I was one of the girls that danced on the bars. My reply was a big not hardly. He then gave me a $1 to go play him something in the jukebox. Weirdo!

The 5 of us sat there listening to music, watching the girls dance and chatting. Then, they announced my birthday. I had the choice to either let someone do a body shot off of me or do a body shot off of one of the girls.

I had two thoughts that went through my mind: I did not want to be laying on the bar showing my stomach. And if I did, I didn't want the skeezy dollar dude to get to do the body shot. So, I chose to do the body shot off one of the bartenders. Boy did the guys like that! I'm not sure how that was a birthday present for me, but hey, whatever! Oh darn, no one got pictures!!

But, we did get pictures of the bar...check them out. Some of the pictures are dark so you will have to click on them to make them bigger.

CRS

CRS = Can't Remember Shit (Napster's term.)

Blogmom Bou was talking about not being able to remember simple words such as shed or counter.

Many people in her comments agreed they have this problem. Along with me. I have it bad!

I'm not even sure I talk English sometimes. Here are a few of the ways I corrupt the English language:

What Sucks About Training...

Today would be one of those days I call-in sick.

I can't, I have 6 people waiting for me for their new employee orientation.

So I gotta fake being well to the best of my abilities until about 4:00 or 5:00 when I will come home and crash again!

Gotta go get my red bull....

Moving to Arizona

On Moving to Arizona:

May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to
live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is
beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here!

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in
an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure
to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots
of cactus and rocks What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for
me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of windy though. But
getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I
learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
this.

July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left
this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died
and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the
upholstery. The car now smells like Kibbles and shit... I learned my
lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the
AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000
house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

Aug. 4th: Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid
state.

Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator
is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked
cat!!

Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I
sat on the seats in the car, I thought my butt was on fire. I lost 2
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and butt. Now my
car smells like burnt hair, fried butt, and baked cat.

Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do crap for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next,
so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the
cactus can't live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to
crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" Well, my
sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What
kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later
to let you know how the trial goes."

Damn, I must be tired!!

I'm a light sleeper. I hear my phone, I hear stuff outside, I am still aware of things around me.

Which makes this weird.

I came home today ready to crash! Very very tired! I haven't gone grocery shopping and certainly didn't want to go out in the 100 degree heat when I wasn't feeling well.

So, I ordered a pizza online, and decided to lay on the couch until it got here. When you order online, they call before they leave and they also have to call for me to let them into the gate of my apartment.

I woke up about 4 times, wondering where the hell my pizza was. Finally, after an hour and a half, I decide to call them.

Hmmm, I look at my phone and I see 1 missed call. OOPS!

I call, ask where my pizza is and pretend I never got the call (very bad of me, I'm a bad person, I'm going to hell, I know)

So, hopefully, I should have a pizza here soon now that my nap has been interrupted!

Damn, I didn't realize I was that tired!

Your Blogging Personality

Your Blogging Type is Kind and Harmonious

You're an approachable blogger who tends to have many online friends. People new to your blogging circle know they can count on you for support. You tend to mediate fighting and drama. You set a cooperative tone. You have a great eye for design - and your blog tends to be the best looking on the block!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

Stolen from Sue.

Did You Know...

...it's impossible to lick your elbow?

Haha! See told ya!

ADOPT ADOPT ADOPT!

Blogmom Bou is considering getting the boys a dog.

Everyone is leaving their advice in her comments. I had to make mine a seperate post.

Adopt vs. Buy

I've always been one to adopt. There are so many dogs out there that have been left without a home. Good dogs! Especially since the war started, dogs are just being let go to survive on their own or brought to an animal shelter. There is an animal shelter in Hinesville, GA (big Army base) that if they find a dog without a collar, it only get's to stay for 3 days. If the dog has a collar, 10 days. Otherwise, they are euthanzied. It's very sad.

I adopted Kiki. She was 2 months old and was found on the side of a highway. There *are* good dogs at the shelter.

From what I've read and experienced, mixed dogs/mutts are better behaved and have less health problems.

Female vs. Male. For years, we always got male dogs because of what we had heard about females being more aggressive. My issue with male dogs? I get grossed out when they get "excited" and their thingy pokes out. Female dogs...get them spayed as soon as you can (6 weeks old). Then you don't have to put up with them being in heat and they don't get the chance to be aggressive.

Small dog vs. Big dog. I always had medium/large dogs growing up. I thought the small little dogs were obnoxious! I still agree with that to a point. I lucked out big time with Kiki. She thinks she's a big dog but fits in your lap! She likes to play and she likes to be loved. No bitchiness. So keep in mind whether it's going to be an indoor/outdoor dog (and then don't tell me if you are going to leave it outside 24/7). Depends on the size of your home.

If I could have more dogs, I would. I hate the fact that there are great dogs sitting at the shelter that would be loyal family members that may die if someone doesn't come along within 3-10 days!

For Bou and fam, my first suggestion is a Golden Retriever like dog. My dad has one. He is great with my little sister and all the other kids, was very easy to train and is all about giving love. In my experience, they don't get really hyper like some other dogs. Downside? They are large dogs that shed. They need to be walked and/or have plenty of room to run in a yard.

So it all depends on the family dynamic, what kind of "personality" traits you want, and what size poop you are willing to pick up!

I'll have to write a whole other post on bringing the puppy/dog home and starting training.

To anyone else considering getting a dog or more dogs. All I can say is ADOPT ADOPT ADOPT!!!

The Chocolate Factory!

VS.

I love Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory! So needless to say, I was anxiously awaiting Charlie and the Chocolate Factory since I saw the previews last year!

It is hard to compare the two. They are really two different movies. The same, but different!

Is the new one worth seeing? Yes. Is it better than the first? In my opinion, no.

Willy Wonka, played by Johnny Depp, reminded me of a mix of Christopher Lloyd's character in Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Judge Doom) and Michael Jackson. He played the creepy part well, but couldn't do what Gene Wilder did in the original.

The kids? They picked well. Although I'm still partial to the original Charlie.

The factory? Can't beat the original factory. I don't care how high tech we are these days.

The Oompa Loompa? Again, I prefer the first. Although, Deep Roy (sounds like a porn star) did do a good job!

The Soundtrack? The new one! I was impressed. I caught myself tapping my foot several times!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory does give you resolution though. It's nice to know what happens to the kids and the family.

Although I was weirded out by Wonka as a kid in his head gear.

Anyways...If you liked Willie Wonka and the Chocolate factory, go see Charlie and the Chocolate factory. If you weren't a big fan, go see the matinee!

New Blog Showcase

There was only one entry this week for the Showcase Carnival. So I perused the blogosphere for some fresh meat new bloggers!

We have David Porter who provides Mid-Michigan--East Lansing, Okemos and Greater Lansing-- with advice on mortgages and saving money.

My wonderful blogson Spurs makes me laugh with Women's English. Napster, his wife, my dear friend and I guess blogdaughter-in-law (weird!) tells it like it is in Napster Speaks!

Virtue, at The Rantings of an Indentured Servans is the spawn of my blog bruncle Contagion. She got pierced! Go check it out!

Tuck of Thought Drizzle, blogson of Johnny-Oh, has a message to SUV Pilots.

Primo Donna, the real life mom of Prochein Amy, has great stories about her past to pass on to her family. Here, she tells us about what it's like to be the prettier twin sister.

Are you hitting yourself for not submitting an entry into this week's New Blog Showcase? Stop! Calm down, take a pill! The next chance is at Steal the Blinds (you have to check out his blog theme, I love it!).

Need to know how to submit an entry? GO HERE!

You don't have enough to read? Check out the following carnivals:

The Karnival of Kidz is over at The Grass Isn't Greener.

The Carnival of Recipes is over at One Happy Dog Speaks.

The Carnival of Music is over at Bumper Music.

If I Had Two Dozen Roses...

...would it change your mind? (sorry...an old country song)

I have such good friends! Today, while trying to make it out the window of my second floor office, I received these beautiful roses from blogson Spurs and Napster.

What a way to brighten the day!

AND WE HAVE A WIENER!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen (and all you other people) -

That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom was #10,000 tonight!

So, your prize?

The Toilet Seat Debate

My blogson Spurs is learning the language of marriage.

He says, "Now if I can just remember to put the seat down..."

I'm proud of the boy!

Here's my theory....

Girls need the seat down for 2 reasons.

Boys need the seat up for 1 reason.

Girls win 2-1!

'nuff said!

Word of the Week #12

Linky Lovin' XI

This week's word was turophile. I was interested in how this one could be used.

T1G thought that turophile was "someone who loved cheese. Especially swiss" in the comments. And THIS is why I continue to do the Word of the Week!

Harvey slipped his usage of this week's word in guessing what LeeAnn would want for a prize if she was my 10,000 hit on the sitemeter.

VW is having issues in our friendly weight loss competition, constantly being faced with cheese by the kids!

David wrote a poem about cheese, the French and their stench!

I'm sure everyone feels just so much smarter after this word. Let's see what I can find for this week!

A Great Birthday

Oh, what a day!

24 years ago today at 2:27 pm, I was born in a Navy Clinic in 29 Palms, CA. This clinic is now where you go to get your ID card.

My plan today was to scan various pictures of the ways we have celebrated in the past. You all would have had a good laugh at some of my hair styles and clothes....but, I never got my scanner today (I was lazy).

It's been a great birthday. It started last week when Tammi called my voicemail and sang Happy Birthday to me. I saved it and even listened to it today. It made me smile big! I must say, Tammis is my favorite "Aunt" even from my real family...and the only one that wished me a happy birthday! :-) (It's ok, I don't claim the others, lol)

Another friend of mine called and sang happy birthday on my voicemail.

Then Bou and her boys called my voicemail and sang happy birthday to me. I had a big smile!

Throughout the week while in Denver (more details later), I spoiled myself at the company's expense. Great meals! Great fun!

I arrived in an Atlanta yesterday and went to have a facial, courtesy of Morrigan. So kind, and what a way to relax after an exhausting trip! I also got to meet Bou and the boys and got 3 beautiful pictures from the boys.

Today was a day to just relax and not worry about ANYTHING! No unpacking, no cleaning, no errands!

I bought myself the memory card I have been needing for my phone. Now I'll have music on the go! :-) I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Willy Wonka is one of my fav movies). It was great...review to come later.

I picked up my yummy southern meal and some vanilla ice cream to go with Morrigan's yummy brownies.

I came home to eat and my absolutely favorite episode of Extreme Home Makeover was on. Nothing like something warming your heart on your birthday!

The day has been full of phone calls, e-cards, emails and trackbacks wishing me a Happy Birthday. I'm a very lucky person!

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! You helped make this a wonderful day!

AND we are 39 away from 10,000!! Thanks to a lot of wonderful blogger friends and family sending readers my way!

Birthday Plans

I got home last night from Atlanta at about 10. Went to the store to get some Zantac to cure this awful heartburn and grab some Taco Bell for dinner (I know I know, doesn't make a lot of sense)

Even though I was exhausted, I still needed a couple of hours of not moving to relax myself before going to sleep.

So about 1am I go to bed. I woke up at 10am this morning to a call from my dad wishing me a happy birthday. I talked to my stepmom and she said I have a package coming. When I open it, I can take it two ways...but she said to take it as a joke. I'm concerned! :-)

I got a call from a friend of mine that I don't get to talk to nearly enough. Her and I worked together back in 2000 at the Marine Corps Exchange. We became great friends and still keep in touch. Her daughter is two years younger than me and went to the same high school as I did. So we spent the past hour catching up on all the gossip of the small town of 29 Palms!

Today I plan to go buy a printer/scanner. For two reasons...first, I'm going to start scanning all my pictures onto disk. I want backups and I want easy access. Second, I have a post in mind for today, kind of a blast from the past, but the pictures I have need to be scanned. So look forward to that tonight.

I also still have the Word of the Week to do for turophile. So you all have time to get those in by tonight!

I'm going to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! I have been greatly anticipating this movie! I would have seen it Friday night when it opened, but I was at the casino!

It's nice out today (just a little humid). I might go lay out and read a book before the storms get here!

And then tonight! The Birthday meal is going to be Confederate Fried Steak, Mashed Potatos and Mac n' Cheese! Haha, yea right, I'm not cooking! There's this great restaraunt here that makes these terrific southern meals and that's what I'm having! With Morrigan's brownies for dessert! I might throw in some vanilla bean ice cream with those too :-)

I have so much to write about and have to get these ideas out of my head soon before I forget them. So they'll be a lot of writing today. I might not all be published today (I'm not stupid), but there will be a lot of writing!

And hopefully tonight, I will be handing out a prize for my 10,000 hit! Talk about a lot of birthday spankings! We are 115 away!

So much to do and only 12 hours left of my birthday!! Gotta make it good!

I Saved Your Life

ArmyWife was able to save Pink Ninja's life, again.

Go read her story. It reminded me of something similar.

My dad, mom and baby sister were stationed in Ft. Gordon, GA. I was probably about 8 or so.

I was sleeping in my room and had a bad dream. I got up, put my Strawberry Shortcake sleeping bag over my head and went to walk into my parents room.

When I hit the hallway, our dog Chesty went BALLISTIC! He was barking loud and scarring the shit out of me!

My dad ran to the hallway, tackling me to the ground to cover over me. He thought there was an intruder in the house. He surveyed the rooms, switched on the light to realize we were safe.

Needless to say, they spent the next few hours calming me and Chesty down.

So yes, my dad saved my life! :-)

Not Quite Human

My week started traveling to Denver Monday, training during the day and staying out at night and ending flying back into Atlanta and driving home to Columbia.

I am a freaking zombie!

I like people for the most part. I like to try new things, see new places. And I hate to pass out on great opportunities. But I think I overdid it this week.

Hanging out with people is great....but for 18 hours a day for the past 5 days and not have my "me" time.....not a good mix. I always have to have my sit in front of the tv, watch a mindless show, not talk to anyone, don't think real hard, vegging ME TIME!

So between that, flight delays and brain overload, I am not quite human today. Sentences don't come out clearly, thoughts are jumbled, short term memory is shot, common sense is long gone.

So wouldn't this be the perfect day to meet my blog mom for the first time?
I already feel like I know Bou, so the first meet didn't feel like a first meet.

I was quickly going through Atlanta while Bou and the boys had plans. We literally only had 5 minutes to say hi, make small talk and say goodbyes.

Now usually, bloggers have this great big post on the first meet of another blogger....but they usually last longer than 5 minutes.

What's worse is that I can't even remember much of what I said I was so gone. I'm not so sure that anything that came out of my mouth even made sense.

So meeting Bou was like coming by to see a friend you see all the time. I'm just sorry we didn't get to spend more time together. There will be more opportunities in the future.

The boys? I can blog about the boys after only meeting them for 5 minutes. THAT'S how impactful they are!!

I knock on the door to Morrigan's and #3 peeks out the window, opens the door, says "Happy Birthday" quietly and runs up the stairs. TOO CUTE!

I had 3 beautiful pictures waiting for me with wonderful wishes for a happy birthday.

#1 drew the bug to beat all bugs. This thing has a different weapon in each of it's many hands (are they hands? legs? whatever) Gun, sword, nuclear missile. Maybe this thing can kill all the nasty bugs in my apartment.

#2 drew and colored great dinosaurs. They were long necks, with the trees. I ask him if long necks are carnivores or herbivores. He didn't miss a beat and replied with herbivore. I learned something from the kid! ;-)

#3 (Bones) made a cute card with a cake on it. He's a very impressive artist!

I'm standing there chatting with Bou and Morrigan when the following conversation occurs:

Bones to Bou: Mom? Is that key she's wearing for her car or her house?

Me: *giggling* My dad says it's the key to his heart.

Bones: How do you open it?

Me: Very carefully

Only if he knew that was the style back when Janet Jackson wore her house key on her huge hoop earrings.

I wish I could have spent more time with the boys too. If they had me giggling in 5 minutes, I can only imagine the stitches they could have had me in.

Hey, 5 minutes is better than nothing! Even though it may have seemed I was on some severe drugs.

Oh, I did find out one thing about Bou! She is competitive and evil!! She had Morrigan make the best brownies ever and send them home with me. Damn, I know she wants to win the competition....but that's just cruel! ;-)

Update

I'm in the Denver Airport on my way home from a long but fun trip.

So much to blog about when I get home!

It's Tardsday!

What's Tardsday?

A year ago, I was driving this god-awful ugly red PT Cruiser; wrapped in the company logo with pictures of our products! I was a driving billboard!

After having enough of the rolling advertisement, I wrecked it by driving into a dumptruck at about 45-50mph.

I am obviously shaken up as I am leaning against the guardrail, when the officer arrives and approaches me.

His comment?

"So, you work for "name of company here"?"

My response:

a) No sir, I stole it.

b) No sir, I work for "the competitor".

c) Yea, but probably not for much longer.

Leave your answer in the comments...

Birthday Bones

Kiki and I will have a late birthday celebration as she will be staying at my mom's on my birthday. I think when I bring her home, I'll make these!

"These cookies are great for your favorite furry friend. Every dog I have given these to loves them. It is nice to use doggie type cookie cutters, like bones or fire hydrants." Original recipe yield: 18 treats.

INGREDIENTS:
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 cup unsalted natural peanut butter
1 cup skim milk

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets. Stir together the flour and baking powder; set aside.

In a medium bowl, mix together the peanut butter and milk. Stir in the flour mixture until well blended.

Turn out dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth. Roll out to 1/4 inch thickness and cut into shapes using cookie cutters.

Place 2 inches apart onto the prepared cookie sheets.

Bake for 20 minutes in the preheated oven, or until lightly brown. Remove from cookie sheets to cool on wire racks.

Bravery

I used to be brave. Not scared of bumps and bruises. Standing up on the seat of my bike, hanging upside down on monkey bars, jumping ramps on skateboards.

I miss those days when you were invincible!

Dad's Rules

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do no, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

ArmyWife's Birthday

I hope you have an absolutely wonderful day!

I tried to get you some "fun" presents to post for your birthday, but I'm on a business trip and only have my work laptop....I'm in internet jail!

Happy Birthday my fellow Cancer!!

Everyone, go wish ArmyWife a Happy Birthday

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

The Squirrel Song

Looks like the Llama Song is making it's rounds again.

If you like that, you'll love the Squirrel Song!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Towel Heads

Recently I received a warning about the use of this politically incorrect term, so please note, we all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words.

I have been informed the Islamic terrorists, who hate our guts and want to kill us, do not like to be called "Towel Heads", since the item they wear on their heads is not actually a towel, but in fact, a small folded sheet.

Therefore, from this point forward, please refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads."

Thank you for your support and compliance on this delicate matter.

The BIG 10,000!!

My sitemeter is slowly approaching 10,000.

My goal is to hit 10,000 this Sunday. I figured that'd be a great birthday present from the blogosphere! Considering nothing fun or great happens at 24 like my car insurance decreasing or being able to rent cars without the extra charge for my youth, I figured 10,000 hits would be nice!

The Bug Debate

My sister and I were having a debate this weekend.

I asked her, if we could choose one type of bug to no longer exist, what would it be?

My obvious choice was the roach! They're the only things that won't die!

My sister said mosquitos. Mosquitos?? Hmph! I can deal with a mosquito bite ANY day (as I avoid the temptation of scratching 1 of 5 bites on my legs)

Her thought...roaches don't bite, mosquitos do.

I don't give a sh*t. Roaches are gross, evil creatures!

So, we will open the question up to everyone else.

If you could choose any bug to no longer exist, what would it be?

Bugs Bugs Bugs!

They are coming from everywhere! I have tons of dead little bugs by my front door, live ones are popping up from my baseboards.

A couple of nights ago, a HUGE waterbug/palmetto bug/cockroach fell from my ceiling fan onto my floor and freaked me the f*ck out! Seriously, I was almost in tears...

I jumped up from the sofa, put on shoes (but wouldn't step on something this huge) and grabbed the bug spray. I grabbed my phone to call my mom and meanwhile, Monsoon Raid is coming down on the piece of sh*t! Everytime it moved I screamed! Finally, it ran underneath my sofa. I sprayed all around the sofa creating a fog of death around the sucker. I moved the sofa later, used a broom to go under and never found the thing.

Meanwhile, I'm giving my mom the play by play on the phone, panicking. I couldn't find it. I refused to sit on the sofa as I was scared it crawled up in there.

I was scared to go to bed that night as I have a ceiling fan over my bed. I didn't sleep well that night!

I keep my house clean! No food is left out, no dirty dishes, counters are clean, laundry is stored in the hamper, etc. I AM.NOT a dirty person! Where the hell are these things coming from?

I live in a decent apartment. I would hope that the people next to me or above me are not breeding these things!

Mind you, I just had the place sprayed three weeks ago!

Then last night, when I got home from my moms, I went to jump in the shower and saw a regular sized roach between my shower curtain and liner. I jump out of the shower dripping wet, go and put on shoes, grab the spray. I shake the curtain from the outside until he falls out and stomp the hell out of him and then drown him in spray just in case he was trying to take a last breath!

I can't take this! Isn't there something in the lease about living in a bug free environment??? I'm going to have them bomb the place while I'm in Denver this week! If it's not better when I get back, I'm living in my truck!

Word of the Week #11

Linky Lovin' X

This week's word was unctuous. I figured we have all met someone like this, so it was appropriate.

Blog sis VW may seem unctuous in her attempt to beat Bou in the competition. It's getting brutal out there ;-)

Triticale found a new way to use the words in my comments.

Blog Bruncle Contagion uses this week's word to describe his blog-pa. He was the outcast of the blogmeet...go give him some love!

Blog Uncle That 1 Guy had a run in with the law. No insurance card, no drivers license. The only thing he could hand the officer was a beer. Go see what happened!

That's all for this week! Blog reading has been light this week so if I missed you, speak up!

Thanks to those who participated this week! Ahh, the love of the family!

It's Tardsday!

What's Tardsday?

When Gerald was pulled over by police for erratic driving, he decided it was better to flee from the stolen car on foot, rather than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This was the first of two successive mental lapses. Gerald's actual thoughts are unknown, but may have been something like this:

The officers are merely suspicious and alert now...why not make them hot, sweaty, tired and angry, by leading them on a wild chase through dark alleys and fields?

During the subsequent foot chase Gerald attempted to dissuade officers from the pursuit by firing a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun blindly over his shoulder. This was the second illustration of a potential mental deficiency:

Officers are running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun! They have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I'll fire wildly behind me and see what happens!

Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who can't chew gum and walk at the same time. Or at least he couldn't flee and fire at the same time. While discharging the weapon over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the head, bringing the chase to a sudden conclusion.

Four shots were fired, none by the officers, who found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen body. Gerald was transported to a local hospital where he exired the following day, thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.

Conspiracy Theories

Bottled Water

Our water companies supply us with piss poor water so that we must buy bottled water or water filters.

Cold Medicine

We are so advanced but we can't cure the common cold? How much money would companies lose if there was no need for cold medicines?

Automated Phone Systems

Set up with the phone companies to make us spend more time on the phone therefore spending more money.

Possible additional conspiracy with medical for us holding the phone up to our head, possible causing cancer or tennis elbow.

No Turn On Red

There is no reason we can't turn on a red if there is no traffic. This sign is posted everywhere so we waste more gas stopped at a stop light.

Light Bulbs

Are you telling me that we cannot create a light bulb to last more than 60 days? Even the "long lasting" bulbs.

Car Maintenance

Cars are programmed to break down on us when we don't have money. I'm still working on this one. They either feel the weight in our wallets or have a chip that can read our bank account.

Bugs

I am convinced when the bug men come to spray that they plant bug eggs ready to hatch weeks later to infest your home with more bugs so you have to call them again. Especially silverfish!

Pot Holes

Tire companies come out at night and dig holes in the pavement in order to screw up your wheels. Little pot hole gnomes.

The Weather

It's hot & humid as hell, requiring us crank the AC in our vehicles, using more gas, making us pay for more gas.

Pentagon Announcement

Subject: Pentagon announcement


The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the U. S. REDNECK SPECIAL FORCES (USRSF).

These Kentucky, West Virginia, Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Georgia,
Texas, Tennessee and North & South Carolina boys will be dropped into Iraq and
have been given only the following five facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

This mess in Iraq should be over IN A WEEK.

There's So Many Things You Can Do with Vanilla...

You Are Vanilla Ice Cream

Your personality is anything but "vanilla" You're a risk taker, who's up for anything new. You go well with anyone and fit into any situation. You are most compatible with rocky road ice cream.

A New Way of Thinking

From Llama Butchers:

If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog.

Now if I could publish these composed blog entries mentally, that'd be great!

Mom Blogging???

Mom and the family are having a tough time down there in Beaufort.

They still don't like the house but are trying to make the best of it.

To sum it all up, IT SUCKS!

They have waited 2 weeks to finish getting the cable TV and cable internet hooked up in their house. STILL no internet. They've had guys come out twice feeding them shit about work orders and promises. Mom has talked to 4 supervisors and still, nothing has been completed.

Every time they go out to eat, they get bad service, food, or both.

There is a huge concern on safety for my sister. We are looking at colleges for her, but my mom is concerned with safety.

They are trying to get a privacy fence put up in the back yard, and the guy that came over was some old redneck, drunk and quoted her $3000 without saying how he came to that, giving her a written quote or a business card.

Seriously, I think my mom pissed someone off royally to have all this shit happen. Karma is a bitch!

So every phone call I get, it's something. For any of you who have lived in or heard of Twentynine Palms, California....I'd rather live there then in Beaufort, SC!

Mom said she didn't know what else to do, she was so angry she couldn't think straight. She then said these exact words...

"...maybe I should start a blog so I can vent this stuff out..."

Huh? What?

My mom blogging?

**shudder**

I'm not *that* concerned. She's not big on writing.

So I think I'm safe. But the thought....scary!

A Tequila Sunset

Ingredients:

0.5 oz Grenadine
6.0 oz each cubes of ice
4.0 oz Orange Juice
1.5 oz Tequila

Directions:

Fill a highball glass with ice. Add tequila and fill with orange juice; stir. Slowly pour in tequila and let it settle. Before serving, stir very gently once, to create the "sunset" effect.

Hmmm...this may be my birthday drink! Yum!

Public Toilet

Here's a picture of a public toilet in REEDSPORT OREGON...

Now let's take a look at the inside...

That's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there.
But when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box.

Would you / could you use it ???

Carnival of Music #5

It's time again for the 5th Carnival of Music.

We had only a couple submit (3 to be exact). So, I found a couple of music related posts that I thought you music lovers would like.

Owlish is asking what you think the saddest song is. So far, we are looking at Billy Joel's Downeaster Alexa, Michael W. Smith's Friends and Rick Springfield's My Father's Chair. Do you have a favorite sad song...go share it.

Go on over to Fredösphere to see many many posts on music. One of my favorites being a post on The Kingston Trio. Do ya remember Tom Dooley?

I went on some crazy rant on what made me a dork in high school!

Blog Mom Bou is on vacation at her family's for their annual ceilidh. What an event!!

CD at Semi-Intelligent Thoughts has some samples of some great songs recorded in his basement.

Tammi pays tribute to the late Luther Vandross.

That's it for this week. Those of you who didn't submit but I linked to you anyway...hope you don't mind. I thought you were worthy enough for honorary mention in the carnival :-)

That's My Job

My dad and stepmom were married when I was 12. My stepmom asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I had no idea what an actual honor that was. And that she chose me so I could be in the wedding, rather than one of her sisters or best friends. I wish I would have known.

Before the wedding, my dad told me at the reception, he and I were going to dance to That's My Job by Conway Twitty. Being the 12 year old I was, I was embarassed by the thought that we were going to be dancing to Conway Twitty. Geez, dad just didn't know music.

Sis #1 (who was 5 at the time) and dad danced to Daddy's Hands by Holly Dunn. A beautiful song.

It wasn't until years later that I listend to the lyrics of our song and realized how beautiful and touching it was. It fit so well.

I can't believe how these lyrics match so perfectly.

I woke up cryin' late at night - when I was very young
I had dreamed my father - had passed away and gone
My world revolved around him - I couldn't lie there anymore
So I made my way down the mirrowed hall and tapped upon his door.

And I said, "Daddy, I'm so afraid!
How would I go on, with you gone that way?
Don't wanna cry anymore
So may I stay with you?"

And he said,
"That's my job, that's what I do
Everything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."

Later we barely got along - this teenage boy and he
Most of the fights it seems - were over different dreams
We each held for me ...
He wanted knowledge and learning - I wanted to fly out west
"Said I could make it out there - if I just had the fare
I got half, will you loan me the rest?"

And I said, "Daddy, I'm so afraid
Theres no guarentee in the plans I've made
And if I should fail, who will pay my way back home?"

And he said,
"That's my job, that's what I do
Ev'rything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."

Every person carves his spot - and fills the hole with life
And I pray someday I might - light as bright as he.

Woke up early one bright fall day - read the tragic news
After all my travels, I settled down - within a mile or two
I make my livin' with words and rhymes - and all the tragedies
Should go into my head and out instead - as bits of poetry.

But I say, "Daddy I'm so afraid
How will I go on - with you gone this way
How can I come up - with a song to say, "I love you."

"That's my job, that's what I do
Ev'rything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me ...
That's my job, you see."

"Ev'rything I do is because of you
To keep you safe with me."

I love this song. I love what it means and I love what it symbolizes. I wish I would have known then how special it really was. What a wonderful thing unconditional love is.

Float On

I'm going to float away.

I drink a lot of water. I drink a lot period, and just replaced normal drinks with water.

If I go to a restaurant, I have already had at least 1 refill before the meal even comes. Usually, by the end of the meal, I have had at least3 refills. Hence one of the huge reasons I switched to water rather than the empty calories of soda.

But now, I do it for so many more reasons than just calories. It gives me more energy, clears up my complexion, and just makes me feel generally better. Hell, even food taste better.

I try to drink 1-3 liters a day. 2 of these being at work.

I will often place my elbow on my desk, propping the liter of water up to my mouth and not bringing it down until it's gone.

I found out today, this looks weird to those that pass my office and glance in the window.

Haha, but only one person asked for an explanation.

The others probably think I have vodka in there.

My Alarm Clock is Messed Up

In bed, I opened my eyes wide awake. I had been dreaming a lot and think I just finally gave up on sleep. I hadn't fallen asleep unit 1:30am so I figured it must be time to work, although, I hadn't heard my alarm yet.

I rollover and see this:

What is this? I've never seen this before. I think it has something to do with the sun not being up yet.

Well, now there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for me to not go work out this morning. I think I just had to get an early start on my week.

Look, I felt sorry for VW and ArmyWife. Really, I did. But in no way did I want to feel sleep sympathy pains!

So I'm taking bets....what time will I absolutely just crash today? (Considering I normally get 8 hours of sleep every day)

Nature's Light Show

No fireworks tonight. At least not here.

It's too wet and has been storming all day. I was obviously taken way too seriously when I said I love storms...as we are forecasted to have them all week.

So tonight, instead of a 4th of July firework show, I'll sit back and enjoy nature's fireworks.

I can handle that...

Meat in the South

My mom made me Taco Rice yesterday. Oh so yummy! I don't know what she does to make it taste better than mine...but I could live off hers!

So we are sitting on the couch eating and I'm telling her how good it is. And her reply -

"Eh...I can tell a difference in the taste of the meat down here than up in Chicago"

WTF? A different taste in hamburger???

Am I totally off my rocker or are there different tastes to hamburger according to where you are and buy it?

Word of the Week #10

Linky Lovin' IX

This week's word was cocooning: the practice of spending leisure time at home in preference to going out.

Well, if the word "preference" wasn't in the definition, cocooning would describe my life!

I figured Bou would like this one. She says you do this when you have kids.

My blog mom's the only one who loves me :-( She was the only one that found cocooning appropriate for this week. (However, we all do know my record for missing people...so speak up if so)

So this week's gotta be good. REALLY GOOD!!

Excuse me while I go on the hunt!

It's Quiet Here

I came home today from my mom's and Kiki wasn't there jumping at the door to get in. She wasn't inside anxious for me to open the door to give her some love.

She's at my moms. And I hate it!

I'm traveling A LOT this month. So much that it was going to be difficult for me to drive down there each weekend to drop her off or pick her up. So she will be there until the end of the first week in August. I don't like it!

It's very lonely here without her.

As If She Were My Own

Sis #1 is a gorgeous young woman now. It's hard to handle. She's beautiful. 5'7/5'8 (and teases me constantly for being taller than me), thin figure, in great shape, long blonde hair down to her lower back, blue eyes, pure white skin and a wonderful smile. She got the good genes in the family! She's 17 and out of high school, starting college shortly.

My first concerns with her moving down here to SC was that she was going to be right next to TWO Marine Corps bases. And I am frightened. She's soooo boy crazy!

And she's bored. There's not much to do there, it's a small town and not the best of towns.

But now I'm more worried! Yesterday we drove around picking up job applications for her. I asked if she thought about Walmart (one of the few things there) but she doesn't want to be around that many people as a cashier. I can understand.

Last night, at about 9:30, we went into Walmart to get her a wireless router for her laptop.We parked by a light as I am strict on safety, but it wasn't as close to the door as I would have liked.

As we were walking out, on the sidewalk next to the Garden Center, I was on the phone with my mom telling her we were on our way. We pass 5 punks walking toward us. I'm paying attention to our surroundings, looking for people or doors if necessary.

As we pass these guys, they turn and start saying "Mmmm, you're looking sexy tonight." "I wanna get with that!" And other worse things that I pray my sister didn't hear or comprehend.

I put my arm around her and started walking faster toward my truck.

It frightens me that she could have gone there alone and been talked to like that and who knows what else.

We had a talk on the way home about safety, self defense, intuition, and good judgement.

I thought I'd get the "Sissy, I know I know".

She listened. She asked questions. I think she understood.

But I won't stop worrying.

Personal Music History

I started Piano Lessons last Thursday. A woman that mainly teaches young children but has a few young adults.

We were trying to decide what book I should be in with my previous knowledge. I thought I'd still be in book one since it's been so long.

She pulled out book one and made me play through each song. I got through all of them. And while sight reading (I've never been the best at sight reading).

We decided that next week I would start in book 2, that there was no reason for me to use book 1.

Well, I hate to break it to the lady, but I'm going to have to quit piano lessons after 1 lesson. I feel bad. She's a sweet old lady and this is her source of income. And I'm sure it's great to have someone that's not a beginner for her to work with.

Here's my reasoning. I think I'm at the point where I don't need her at this point in time. I need to start taking lessons when I get stuck and can't teach myself.

I've been pretty good at teaching myself music. I started off playing the clarinet in 6th grade and stayed 1st chair up until college. I got bored with clarinet often so tried other things. In 7th grade, my director had an old bassoon, barely in working order. I begged him to let me try it. I took it home, bought a book, and taught myself the fingerings. I fixed some of the things wrong with it (the felt pads, cleaning, some of the screws) and was able to play bassoon for the next few years and was even asked to play in a local community band. (Bands always need bassoon players...they are hard to find).

Then, my sophomore year in high school, I was a member of the concert band, marching band and jazz band. We had absolutely know baritone players. We had 1 tuba, 1 trombone, and the rest were trumpets and woodwinds. So, I took the baritone home, tried a few finger positions, played a note on my keyboard to match it...and wrote down the fingering and note when I figured it out. No book, no instructor...just me, the baritone and the keyboard.

It took me 3 weeks to learn the baritone enough to play the music for our Homecoming Game. That summer, I went to Europe with the Spirit of America National Honor Band...playing the baritone, with less than a year experience under my belt in the instrument.

I've fiddled around with other instruments. Oboe, Soprano Sax, Trombone, Alto Clarinet, Bass Clarinet, and some percussion (my favorite being the Timpani).

I took Piano lessons for 8 months about 10 years ago. I can still play my major scales and my chord progressions...after all this time. I took a piano class for a semester my first year in college. I didn't like it. I actually got a C....go figure!

So, I've come to the conclusion that I can save the $25 a lesson and continue to teach myself.

Now I have to figure out how to break it to the instructor. Why does she have to be a sweet old lady?

Mute Button!

I was looking forward to 4th of July weekend. I was looking forward to a 2 hour drive to see my family.

I'm still going although it's taking every piece of me to go. I'm coming back early so I don't say something I shouldn't.

Sometimes I wish there was a mute button I could use to keep from people pissing me off.

Work Injuries

I sometimes think that I think I'm superwoman. I tend to try things and think I'll be okay...I'll be the exception. At my mom's house, I pulled a plug that was outside that happened to be a HUGE fuse for the air conditioner and according to my uncle I could have been spending my next month in the hospital. Luckily the power was off to the house. Then there was last nights experience with me on the laptop in the storm (I know, stupid!)

I was extra careful today when I was messing with the wires for my XM Satellite Radio as it stopped working recently. And this reminded me of one story that reminded me of others....

Back when I was the Electronics Product Specialist for MCCS in 29 Palms, CA, I was installing car stereos on a sound board for display. I was trying to move this huge wall display so I could unplug it before I installed the new stereo. I couldn't get the display to move much, so I stuck my hand back their to unplug it. I got it about half way unplugged, when I went to reach back to finish the job....

....I touched the actual metal prongs on the plug! That about zapped the hell out of me. My fingers lacked sensation for a couple of days! My supervisor loved writing up a report about that!

Then, I was sitting on the floor running TV cable to a converter so that all the TVs would display the same image (DVD or Video) It's very appealing as you walk in to the store and see a wall of colorful cartoons!

I was leaning back on my left hand while my right hand was screwing in the cable. All of a sudden, I feel about about 200 lbs on my left hand. I look up in agonizing pain to see a young boot Marine standing on my hand.

I get up with my hand crippled. Turns out I fractured my middle finger while the rest of my hand was swollen and black and blue!

Then, I moved to Yuma. I worked about 60 - 70 hours a week...only taking Sundays off. There was one day that I was having problems with my left eye. It was bothering me. It was dry, my contact kept messing up. Then, I was at home having lunch and took a drink of my soda to see it miss my mouth and fall on my shirt. I was having problems with the left side of my face. I went in the bathroom to find that I could not move the left side of my face. I couldn't blink my eye, the left side of my mouth drooped. I called my mom freaking out. She starts to freak out that I had a stroke. I was 21 at the time. I highly doubted I was having a stroke.

I went to Urgent Care and they didn't know what it was and sent me to an eye doctor. The eye doctor said it was Bells Palsy. I had never heard of it. He said it's usually temporary. They were unsure of the cause but they contributed it to stress and lowered immune system. He said that there was no known fix but that steroids had been shown to possibly help.

Meanwhile, I had to wear a patch over my eye and keep my eye taped down since I couldn't blink. I had to drink out of a straw and eat on the right side of my mouth. I can't describe how miserable it was. I took the steroids religiously. It took about 3 weeks for it all to go away.

A friend of mine in California asked me weekly if I was taking the steroids. When I was better, she asked me if I remembered Kris, a girl we worked with before. I said yes. Well, one side of Kris' face drooped. My friend told me that she got Bells Palsy while she was on a Navy Ship and didn't have steroids available to her, and now she's permanently like that.

Scared the shit out of me! The steroids made me gain mega weight but that's a hell of a lot better than what it could have done if I didn't take them.

Then I moved out to the East and screwed up in the company car.

Practically each job I've had, something has happened. I'm either a clutz, not paying attention or just plain bad luck. Nothing has happened yet with this company that took over a few months ago (at least nothing work related - as I'm reminded of last nights shocking experience). I'm going to keep knocking on wood!

Blog Injury

We were having a great storm tonight. Loud, rolling thunder that mutes everything else around you. Lightning that lights up the sky like Vegas. I love storms! I love rain!

The storm must have been worse than I thought. I was sitting here with my laptop blog surfing when there was a loud BOOM. I swear the earth shook as all the lights went out and I heard this large POP. I thought that my light may have exploded and hit me in the leg as I felt something briefly in my thigh. The lights came on immediately and I realized that my light was still in tact, I was shocked by my laptop.

I jumped up to unplug my laptop from the wall. Meanwhile, my smoke detector is going off and I smell smoke. There is still lightning and thunder surrounding my place while I’m trying to get my smoke detector to stop and figure out where the smell of smoke is coming from.

The smoke detector stopped and I never found what smelled like smoke. I stepped outside to see if something was hit but the lightning was still pouring down, making the hair on my arms stand up and pushed me back inside.

No emergencies. But it scared the shit out of me! I might just be the first person to be injured while blogging. Or at least electrically shocked.

Just a Spoon Full of Sugar...

We hit 1000 at Jeff's Comment Party.

And all those beer songs have me craving some good adult beverages.

So, I think I've turned my dreaded Friday evening into a party...kinda.

I have to clean, straighten up, do laundry, dishes, etc. A LOT! I've been lazy...bad! And I've been dreading this oh so much!

So in the words of Mary Poppins:

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and - SNAP - the job's a game.

SNAP = TEQUILA

Interesting Searches

My latest searches on my sitemeter: (click screenshots to enlarge)