Legal and Ready!

We are off to Vegas!

That's right...I have never been there while legal! It's a shame, I know.

My man and I are driving up tomorrow to meet, Spurs, Napster, Morrigan and her man!

Good times will be had by all...

...and I am bringing the camera!

My Interview

Want to read the weird random questions you all asked and my answers?

Go see Basil!

Good Times

What a surprise I woke up to this morning afternoon as I walked over to my white truck and saw red shit all over the side of it. I was sure someone splashed something on my truck while we were at the bar or casino last night.

When my friend went to get in the backseat, she said there was more red stuff in the back. Um yes, it was puke! Disgusting!

Turns out that my assistant manager puked in the back of my truck last night when I was taking him home and didn't bother to tell me. He tried to get it out the window....but wasn't 100% successful. He will be paying to have my truck detailed. I find it funny he called me today to ask if I took him home last night as he didn't know how he got home.

Little does he know, I saved him from getting his ass kicked by some dude at the bar last night too...with a little sweet talking and a pitcher a beer.

What's good though...is everyone was so drunk, no one remembers me falling on my ass!

Good times!

Christmas Lights

Warning: This post may be offensive to those that have not read my unpublished book on the law of Christmas Lights.

So I have this weird thing with Christmas Lights....I can't help it. I hate that people put up half ass lights. Bugs the hell out of me. So I have a few rules:

Chile Pepper

There is a restaurant here in Yuma that everyone has been addicted to at one time or another. When I lived here 3 years ago, it was a weekly, sometimes daily routine! Rolled Tacos, delicious salsa, bean and cheese burritos (if you like beans), carne asada burritos...good stuff.

People from Phoenix, Tuscon and Sierra Vista are sure to stop by Chile Pepper and pick up food to take home. It's quite possibly an addiction. You can see some reviews here.

Customers who ate at Chile Pepper between May 25th and June 2nd of this year were exposed to Hepatitis A due to an infected employee.

...Officials estimated between 6,000 and 8,000 persons could have been exposed to the infection and said anyone who ate or drank at Chile Pepper, 1030 W. 24th St., between May 25 and June 2, may have been exposed....

...Regarding the restaurant, despite repeated statements by public health officials that the restaurant remains a safe place to patronize and has a good record, business at Chile Pepper is down considerably.

John Gutierrez, whose family owns the restaurant and two others in the area, said: "It's probably (down) by 80 percent."

The restaurant typically serves 1,200 to 2,000 people per day.

I wasn't here for this...but I heard about it from everyone. When I got back to Yuma, one of the first places I stopped was Chile Pepper. I was warned...but hey, shit happens.

Then, a few weeks ago, some of my employees ordered from there to find a worm in their salsa.

My employees called the health department and someone met them at the restaurant. The manager gave my employees their money back and said they were sorry but that they couldn't help it that the worms came in with the chili's they use for the salsa.

And that was it....

So needless to say, my employees have been showing EVERYONE these pictures.

Well, Saturday, I had a serious craving for some Chile Pepper. No one would join me. When I was teased, I joked that I needed some time off so I was going to eat Chile Pepper. I went and ordered my tacos and brought them to work. I dissected the tacos and investigated the salsa for worms or any other weird things...

This brings us to today. Where I am blogging after being at the hospital for 3 hours with food poisoning. Misery is all I can say! I've never had it before and don't wish it upon my worst enemy. Terrible stomach pains like someone was stabbing me, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, dizziness. Ugh!!

So, after a shot in the ass, and some drugs, I am not bent over into the bathtub or stuck to the toilet.

So I would say this was strike three for Chile Pepper! Not just that, I got my days off....but I'm not sure it was quite worth it!

More Randomness

I had a crackhead customer come in today and threaten to blow up my house and beat me...

...I wonder if I would get workman's compensation for that?

If it's snowbird season, why can't I carry a gun?

There's something amusing about a drunk 80 year old man at 11 am telling me that I'm a fucking idiot and that the company I work for is Satan in disguise. What's funnier is when he wants me to turn his service back on or swap his equipment.

There is a such thing as too many jarheads! Hate to break it to you, but there is!

"Hi, I have a wife and 4 kids 3000 miles away, wanna fuck?" is not a good pick up line.

Repeating my name 30 times throughout the night does not make me want you any more than a root canal.

If your seat is no longer there when you come back from getting a drink, it wasn't an accident!

Kicking down the door to the bathroom while I'm in it will not make you cool. Strike One!

Throwing ice at random tables because you are mindlessly drunk will not make you cute. Strike Two!

The chic disappeared before Strike Three!

One of the best things in Yuma...$1.50 breakfast at the casino at 2 am. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, bacon, gravy and toast. Yum!!

Don't assume a guy is gay until you have actual proof!

There is a difference between innocently flirting with a gay guy and having said gay guy blatantly ask to grab your ass. (Note, gay guy wasn't gay)

And just because I tell you no, doesn't mean your friend can either.

I have been sick with some sort of body malfunction since I've been here. Between my nose, my throat, my head, my stomach, and needing a toilet at any given second.....I think it's a BIG NEON SIGN that I do not belong here!

Oh...and ya wanna know what I'm doing when I'm not at work and not blogging....

5 Weird Habits

So Blog Mommy Dearest somehow thinks that my cause for not blogging is lack of things to write versus no time. Oh well, I can sleep later since I have to answer this meme! :-) j/k

Ok, so my 5 Weird Habits. I figured the best people to ask were my roommates as they are constantly telling me how weird I am...and I'm sure of you that have met me can add to this list.

1. No Condiments - None, nada, YUCK! I don't like to see them, touch them, smell them and definitely not eat them. No mayo, mustard, ketchup, dressing, oil, vinegar, sour cream, cream cheese, etc.....Eck! My roommates think that is bizarre and absurd as they ask for cheese with their mayonnaise sandwich

2. For some reason, my shoes have to have heels or thick soles....I must be lifted off the ground. I didn't realize this was weird....but they say I'm not short and it's weird. Hmmm....maybe just an excuse to go shoe shopping.

3. Plucking....I HATE stray hairs. Seriously, once I notice it, feel it, see it....it has to be gone. If I do not have tweezers handy, it bothers me until I can get to them! My roommates asked me what took me so long in the bathroom....and plucking was the answer!

4. Electronics - particularly my phone and my computer. They think I would go through separation anxiety if I was without my phone for 2 minutes. According to them, I am always checking it, text messaging, downloading, talking, etc. And if I'm not on my phone, I am on my computer. As the four of us sit on the couch watching TV, I am on my computer.

5. Gold Jewelry - They think it's weird that I only wear gold jewelry but there is a reason for that. I am allergic to anything that's not gold. Well, I'm not sure what it is in other jewelry that makes me break out, but it does. I have a stainless steel watch that doesn't hurt me, but I can't just go to the store and pick up a pair of earrings or pick out a necklace from the cheapo rack. Otherwise, I will break out into weird red rashes and bumps and itch! The button on my jeans makes my stomach break out....it's that bad. So....gold it is for me!

Oops...forgot to tag people! heheheh

Ummm....of course, Spurs & Napster, T1G, Princess Cat, and TNT.

Have fun weirdos!

Saved By Forwards

As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who
have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on
envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to
seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because
of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx
since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible
mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive
my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to go hungry because Red Lobster and Applebee's will be
sending me gift cards.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214
Angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
Forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I
Receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will
Now return the favor!

If you don't send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 7
minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Happy Holidays in advance!

Bring On The Questions!

My interview at Basil's has been pushed up so it's time to bring on the questions!

You have until 12/17 to email Basil any questions you have.

This should be interesting...