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July 26, 2005

Sissy vs. The Oven!

We all know by now that I do not cook. So the thought of me using the oven is probably quite humorous.

Well, I use it from time to time. Tostinos Pizza, french fries, etc.

The past few times I've used it, it would smoke. Not just a little bit, I mean seeping through the stove burners, making me cough, setting off the smoke detector, smoke.

So I stopped using it.

I'm running out of food and refuse to go grocery shopping until I get back from Kill Me, TX in a week. I have a Tostinos Pizza, french fries, tater tots, and some Betty Crocker Baking meals. Everything I have must go in the oven. I don't even have Ramen! That's sad!

I call my mom to prepare myself for this new task. I have NEVER cleaned an oven before. I don't think I've ever lived anywhere long enough to dirty one up. She's scaring me that I better use gloves or the Easy Off will eat through my skin and all this other stuff. So, I read the instructions on the Easy Off that I bought several months ago when I knew I needed to clean the oven. I take the racks out and spray it all in there. It says to leave it in there for 20 minutes, or 24 hours for a really good cleaning.

I left it in for 48 hours. Not because I wanted it REALLY clean, but because I'm lazy as hell!

So today, I come home but have a conference call I need to be on. This thing is lasting forever, so about after an hour when I start to get hungry, I decide I should finish cleaning the oven.

While on the conference call, I'm in the background with a bucket of water, a sponge and paper towels, cleaning and scrubbing the oven. Talk about multi-tasking!

2 1/2 hours later, the call is over and I'm ready to cook something. I put aluminum foil on the bottom of the oven so I never have this problem again. However, I forgot to clean the racks. So I call my mom again. She tells me to put them in trash bags, spray them with Easy Off, and tie them up for about 20 minutes....all outside. She again gives me the gloves reminder. I told her I had no issue doing the oven without gloves and asked if she was sure. She said it happened to her, and she knew you must wear gloves.

Well, I took care of the racks, WITHOUT gloves. I brought them in and scrubbed them down really good. That was harder than cleaning the damn oven! I insert the racks and then realize I better get started on something to eat.

I preheat the oven and throw the pizza in there. Then I start smelling something. I check the Easy Off can to be sure there's no warning about how long to wait after cleaning the thing.

I call my mom. I asked her if I was going to blow up the apartment complex or die of carbon monoxide poisoning because I started cooking right away. She said it should smell like that the next few times I use it.

What about my pizza? She said it should be ok as long as there was nothing to drip on it.

SO! I will be watching for symptoms tonight of my flesh burning or me becoming sick from pizza infested Easy Off.

I don't think I'd make a good housewife.

Posted by Sissy at July 26, 2005 08:31 PM | TrackBack

» Boudicca's Voice links with: Fire in the Hole!

You and I are related. I think you gave me something to post about for tomorrow.

Posted by: Bou at July 26, 2005 10:19 PM

Yikes! You actually have to clean an oven? Huh? What's that all about? I thought you just moved into a brand new apartment where an oven hasn't been used yet? Geez, guess that's why I'm not the cook in the family! Yeah Spurs!!

Posted by: Napster at July 26, 2005 10:41 PM

That's why the oven smokes? It needs cleaning? Geeze, I wish someone had told me before. GRIN. I haven't cleaned the oven in this house and we have been here 5 years. I did notice it seems to have a lot of stuff stuck to it. Guess if you can clean an oven, I can do it to!!! Wish me luck - I am sure I will need it.

Posted by: VW Bug at July 27, 2005 05:54 AM

I only bake in our oven, no broiling.

We have had it for 10 years and it hasn't been cleaned yet. But it is a self-cleaning oven so if I ever had to clean it I just lock it and push the clean button.

Posted by: Machelle at July 27, 2005 08:36 AM

I thought all oven were self-cleaning -- you just turn the dial up to 500 and sit back and wait -- immolates everything but the racks.

Posted by: Ogre at July 27, 2005 11:34 AM

I like your mom's idea for cleaning the oven racks. So when I actually get around to cleaning the oven in the next couple of years, I'll try it.

BTW, I don't know why, but I can't click on your comments to open them. Nothing happens. I have to right click and choose "open in new window" and then the comments come up...Using Mozilla as browser...

Posted by: TNT at July 28, 2005 07:25 PM