Sissy vs. The Oven!

We all know by now that I do not cook. So the thought of me using the oven is probably quite humorous.

Well, I use it from time to time. Tostinos Pizza, french fries, etc.

The past few times I've used it, it would smoke. Not just a little bit, I mean seeping through the stove burners, making me cough, setting off the smoke detector, smoke.

So I stopped using it.

I'm running out of food and refuse to go grocery shopping until I get back from Kill Me, TX in a week. I have a Tostinos Pizza, french fries, tater tots, and some Betty Crocker Baking meals. Everything I have must go in the oven. I don't even have Ramen! That's sad!

I call my mom to prepare myself for this new task. I have NEVER cleaned an oven before. I don't think I've ever lived anywhere long enough to dirty one up. She's scaring me that I better use gloves or the Easy Off will eat through my skin and all this other stuff. So, I read the instructions on the Easy Off that I bought several months ago when I knew I needed to clean the oven. I take the racks out and spray it all in there. It says to leave it in there for 20 minutes, or 24 hours for a really good cleaning.

I left it in for 48 hours. Not because I wanted it REALLY clean, but because I'm lazy as hell!

So today, I come home but have a conference call I need to be on. This thing is lasting forever, so about after an hour when I start to get hungry, I decide I should finish cleaning the oven.

While on the conference call, I'm in the background with a bucket of water, a sponge and paper towels, cleaning and scrubbing the oven. Talk about multi-tasking!

2 1/2 hours later, the call is over and I'm ready to cook something. I put aluminum foil on the bottom of the oven so I never have this problem again. However, I forgot to clean the racks. So I call my mom again. She tells me to put them in trash bags, spray them with Easy Off, and tie them up for about 20 minutes....all outside. She again gives me the gloves reminder. I told her I had no issue doing the oven without gloves and asked if she was sure. She said it happened to her, and she knew you must wear gloves.

Well, I took care of the racks, WITHOUT gloves. I brought them in and scrubbed them down really good. That was harder than cleaning the damn oven! I insert the racks and then realize I better get started on something to eat.

I preheat the oven and throw the pizza in there. Then I start smelling something. I check the Easy Off can to be sure there's no warning about how long to wait after cleaning the thing.

I call my mom. I asked her if I was going to blow up the apartment complex or die of carbon monoxide poisoning because I started cooking right away. She said it should smell like that the next few times I use it.

What about my pizza? She said it should be ok as long as there was nothing to drip on it.

SO! I will be watching for symptoms tonight of my flesh burning or me becoming sick from pizza infested Easy Off.

I don't think I'd make a good housewife.