Me vs. The Knife

Today was my first trip with the new company. Columbus, OH

I left the office at 10:30 to go home, relax some, make lunch and finish packing before I left for the airport at 1:30 for a 4:00 departure.

Running low on food, I decided to make a turkey burger. Now, I remember going with Morrigan to buy these turkey burgers at Costco over a year ago. I inherited them when I bought the house. So, they have been in the freezer the whole time.

The turkey burgers were stuck together. All my regular knives were in the dishwasher so I grabbed the butcher knife to break them apart. Holding them with my left hand and trying to pry them with the knife with my right hand...I either slipped or made it through the burgers, straight into the palm of my left hand.

After freaking out for a split second, I grabbed a dishtowel. While applying pressure, I think, "shit, what have I cleaned up with this towel? What germs are getting into this cut”?

At this point, I wasn't sure how bad I had hurt myself. I knew if it was just a cut, to run it under water. But it was certainly more than just a cut.

The bleeding wasn't stopping and I wasn't sure what was going to happen, so I called Morrigan. I believe my greeting was, "I just stabbed myself in my hand with a knife. Please just stay on the phone with me."

Haha, now that I think about that, what an awful way to start a call. She kept me calm though. My main worry was how about if I passed out or something...someone needed to know.

So, while gripping the towel, on the phone with Morrigan, I am trying to take off my new white sweater. I would say just a couple of minutes after stabbing it, I go sit down in the bathroom and remove the towel to see a gash about 3/4 of an inch, tons of blood and my hand curled up.

Off to Urgent Care. This is where I found out how much I drive with just my left hand. I could barely park without my left hand...craziness!!

I went into urgent care and they started to hand me paperwork. At this point, I tell the lady at the front desk that I stabbed the palm of my hand. She asked to see it and then brings me promptly to the back to get it cleaned and wrapped temporarily until they can see me.

Once they could see me, the nurses went back and forth between stitches or not, tetanus shot or not. Finally, they decided yes to the tetanus shot (since I wasn't 100% positive if I had one in the past 10 years). They had a doctor take a look at my hand who said no to the stitches. She called it a puncture wound and said it needed to heal from the inside out. I can't say that I was disappointed by that....I really didn't want stitches in my hand!!

After opening the wound about 5 times to see the depth, they irrigated it (that sucked a little), applied steri-strips and wrapped it up. The whole time, I'm watching the clock, explaining to them I have to be out of there by 1pm so I can go catch a flight. They were very understanding.

Fast forward through the packing, driving, carrying luggage, etc to tonight at dinner with my boss, a fellow employee and a former client. I order a Oak Roasted Chicken, expecting just a regular sized chicken breast. Nope....here comes a whole roasted chicken with a huge knife in the top of it....and the whole table busts out in laughter. I must tell you, I was a bit nervous trying to carve that chicken. But I tell you, that was the best damn chicken I have ever had!!

So I now have been asked several times who I beat up, as my hand is completely wrapped in gauze.

Now excuse me, it's time to relieve the throbbing with some vodka....