The Answers I'll Never Know

I remember when I was a kid, driving around in my Grandpa's old pick up truck. Our coversations would go something like this:

Grandpa: How many toes do you have?

Me: 10

Grandpa: No, guess again.

Me: *thinking hard* 8?

Grandpa: No, come on, how many toes do you have?

Me: *taking off my socks and shoes* 10 Grandpa!

Grandpa: No you do not have 10 toes.

Me: Grandpa! How many toes do I have?

Grandpa: Count them!

Me: one-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten TEN!!

Grandpa: That's not right.

To this day, I still don't know how many toes I have!!

My grandma (different side of the family) used to tell me not to leave my orange juice out because all the vitamins would evaporate. When I wanted chocolate milk, she told me that the chocolate destroyed all the vitamins. She would freak out when flies landed anywhere because they threw up on whatever they were on. She also said scratching mosquito and chigger bites were good because it would get rid of the poison.

Oh, the things our grandparents do for their own amusement or senility.