June 22, 2005
What I'm Looking For
I often joke, as I believe many women do, about what I want in a male companion.
A finer specimen of the male species (see frequent Marine and Fireman comments), successful, smart, honest, funny, financially sound (i.e. rich), family lives far away (or has been disowned), and good in bed
Or
Old. Very Old! 1 1/2 feet in the grave old! With money at my disposal. And doesn't mind when I participate in the Rent-a-Marine/Fireman program
All fun and games, but honestly wouldn't make me all that happy. There are a few qualities that are a must for my eternal happiness in the opposite sex, but there is one in particular that is a must!
*Waiting for minds to roll out of the gutter*
I'm talking when push comes to shove, and we are at the shitty end of all the vows (sick, poor, etc), that he can still make the best of it. I've described this before as being happy living in a refrigerator box with this person.
The kind of guy that can make the most boring, miserable experience worthy and less miserable.
The kind of guy that you don't have to plan big outings or events with to make the relationship great. You look forward to doing yard work, laundry, working on the car, grocery shopping, sitting in the ER waiting room, sitting in a cramped airplane, watching paint dry...just because you LOVE being around this person.
What makes this person like this? I don't know. I have a few ideas, but I don’t have the formula just right yet. But if I were asked exactly who I want to share the rest of my life with....it would be that. Because after that, for better and for worse takes care of itself.
If I were to add a few more characteristics? They would be...
Car Fixer
Lawn Mower
Furniture Mover
Chef
Masseuse
oh...and Good in Bed!
Update:
My lower back is asking me to add, "Lift Heavy Things". Someone pass me a muscle relaxer!
I know your pain-- I'm going through the same thing looking for something similar in Michigan.
I can't count the number of times I've been tempted just to find a cave system somewhere and go live there and shun society so that I wouldn't have to think about it anymore.
Posted by: Aris_Ravencroft at June 22, 2005 03:11 AMSometimes the wait is worth it.
I didn't get married until 28, old maid by many standards but I tell you I am soooo glad I didn't settle.
I look back now at the guys I dated before hubby and knew it wouldn't have lasted after my health problems started.
Sissy mentioned she wanted someone who would sit in the ER with her. The true test is just that, my hubby knows how to make me worry not as much while sitting there.
Posted by: Machelle at June 22, 2005 09:44 AMSissy,
You always surprise me Sissy. I am glad you "get" the day to day stuff now. In order to make it work, you really must enjoy the mundane together. The making dinner, cleaning garages, yard work, grocery shopping and day to day stuff. I know a lot of "ADULTS" that don't get that part, and they seem sad when they figure it out.
Good luck, and it is possible to find a great man. ALthough mine is no good at fixing things....
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at June 22, 2005 10:45 AMWhew, I'm glad I have finally found this person! Believe me it took a long time and a failed marriage but it was worth the wait. You'll find him, he's out there, and when you least expect it BLAM there he is!! Even luckier when you can be friends first and it progresses from there. Oh, and our laundry folding process is now called "Happy Fun Couple Time". The first time this was called out to me from the bedroom I got very excited "Babe, it's time for Happy Fun Couple Time" but walked in on a pile of laundry in the middle of the bed - oh well, anything we do together is fun!!
Posted by: Napster at June 22, 2005 01:44 PMI dated a lot before I got married. It was kind of a data sort... what I could and could not live with in a person. Eventually, I made a list on what I had to have and then I met my husband.
Laundry? Phht. Who folds their laundry?
Posted by: Bou at June 22, 2005 02:00 PMI waited until I was 32- two weeks from turning 33- to get married. It took me that long to grow up and know what I was looking for. Doug is honestly my best friend and the one I look forward to spending time with, be it traveling or shopping or watching the History Channel. Your guy is out there- Don't give up and DON'T compromise.
Posted by: Jody Halsted at June 22, 2005 02:45 PMSissy meet Aris..Aris meet Sissy....
Sorry I just could not help it...ya never know. Look at Sarah and Frank....
Posted by: ArmyWifeToddlerMom at June 22, 2005 11:35 PMTwo most important traits in a spouse:
Do they keep the promises they make, both large and small?
Do they habitually spend less than they earn?
Posted by: Harvey at June 23, 2005 01:05 PMI don't like people. In the long run, that seems to help me out. :)
Posted by: Toluca Nole at June 23, 2005 05:29 PMThere is no rush...except for when your eggs start getting old like mine and then, hey, you can always breed.
From the fabulous movie Sandlot I give you the word that scares me more than any other, "F-O-R-E-V-E-R"
Yet another reason I will probably never find my lobster. ;-)
