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June 28, 2005

Rules of Engagement

US Marine Corps Rules
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not
start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is
cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend.
(Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber,
stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEALS Rules
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines

Posted by Sissy at June 28, 2005 06:02 PM

» News from the Great Beyond links with: Rules of Engagement

Harvey is suspiciously quiet..

Posted by: Sally at June 29, 2005 03:04 PM

Too true, Sissy... too true.


Posted by: That 1 Guy at June 29, 2005 10:42 PM

just something I've noticed:

Navy transports marines to do the fighting, so we can keep them. The army occupies space that the marines have taken, so that frees up more marines to do the actual fighting, we can keep them. my roommate is ex-airforce, and he cuts my hair into a high and tight that my old recruiting officers were impressed with, if this is any indication of the rest of the airforce, we can keep them. Thusly, ever branch of the armed forces has a vital role to play.

Posted by: Andrew (Aris_Ravencroft) at June 30, 2005 08:51 AM

They didn't let us watch porn on the ship while *I* was in.

I supppose things have changed a bit with the invention of the battery-powered portable DVD player...

Posted by: Harvey at June 30, 2005 11:45 AM