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July 21, 2005

It's Tardsday!

What's Tardsday?

A middle-aged man complained of abdominal pain and rectal bleeding. He claimed to be unaware of any reason he should be presenting such symptoms, but during his examination the physician discovered a coat hanger protruding from the patient's rectum.

The charge nurse called the Intensive Care nurses to announce a patient coming from the ER who had undergone an emergency bowel resection. The nurses speculated about possible reasons someone might require emergency bowel surgery, until finally, the phone rang again. They sat in rapt silence while the report nurse filled the other nurses in on the details of this unfortunate soul's plight.

The man, when questioned, admitted he had inflicted the injury upon himself.

Earlier that night, while his wife was at work, he was "pleasuring himself" when he impulsively pushed an uncooked egg into his anus. When he "lost it up there," he panicked and tried to fish it out with a coat hanger.

The hanger became snagged.

At this point he decided that the vibration from the motorcycle ride might dislodge the whole mess from his nether region. It did not.

Finally, in growing pain, he rode his motorcycle to the ER.

The physician removed the coat hanger and repaired his intestines.

After an hour, the man's wife arrived. Minutes later, she stormed out of his room and demanded to be informed what had happened. The nurses told her she needed to discuss that with her husband. "He said he didn't know!" she answered. "He said the medical staff wouldn't tell him anything!"

She was politely, but firmly, instructed to speak to the man's physician.

Thank you Drunken Wisdom!

Posted by Sissy at July 21, 2005 12:10 AM | TrackBack


T1G... isn't Lizzie a little young?

Posted by: Sally at July 21, 2005 12:49 PM