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November 02, 2005

Move To Change

Move to Change

It’s no secret that I’ve moved more than some people could imagine. My way of handling the life shattering news when I was younger was to use it to my advantage. Moving meant a new start. I could change something about myself, start over and leave behind any mistakes I had made. Eventually, moving became my answer when things weren’t going the way I wanted them to and I needed to make a change.

How do you change in front of others? When you change in front of others, they know you are trying something different, that you are recognizing/admitting that there was something wrong and that they may see your failures. With those thoughts, I have always considered it to be easier to start over somewhere new. We always say if I knew then what I know now….and that’s what I do….

As I have recently made the move from South Carolina to Arizona, I made new goals, new routines, new theories. But something else changed…

…my need to blog.

I lived in South Carolina for only 10 months. In that time, I had accomplished a good deal at work, but nothing in my personal life. I knew no one. I would go a full weekend without speaking a word. If I felt like talking, I either had to call someone that lived far away, or go shopping to get some human interaction. I had to know people to go out but I had to go out to know people.

The 10 months weren’t wasted. I learned to enjoy being alone. Seriously. I could laugh when I saw something or did something funny or ridiculous. I could cry when I was sad or lonely. I learned to handle those emotions without the need of others.

But there were times that I wanted to share these things, especially some of the ridiculous things that lead to my daily dose of humor. That’s when I started blogging. I could say what I wanted – when I wanted! And often times there was someone there to read and laugh too. Blogging was my connection to people when I had no connection. Mother’s sometimes joke that they crave adult conversation after being with their young children all day; I craved adult conversation after being with myself all day!

But alas, there has been a change! I moved to Yuma where I live with others (temporarily), work with people all day and have little time for myself. I find myself missing some of my alone time.

However, along with my wish to have people in my life, I lost my need to find that connection through blogging. I no longer see something and think, “I need to blog about that” or “Wow, what great blog fodder!”

Eight months ago, blogging became a necessity for my sanity. Now it is merely a place to periodically get away.
I am afraid that blogging will be inconsistent and infrequent. My material will not be as intimate or heart felt as it once was. I expect to lose readers, links and hits….but I am okay with that. One of the best lessons my blog mom Bou has taught me is that I have to blog for me, and no one else.

With that being said, at least when I do post, it will be because I wanted to, not because I needed to.

Posted by Sissy at November 2, 2005 04:57 PM | TrackBack

You found the key. Do it for you... nobody else. The minute I have to blog for others... because someone expects it or because someone expects something in particular, I will hang it up. I'll have on single line on a post that says, "I'm Done."

I'm just so excited you made the right choice in going to Yuma. And when I spoke to you... it just seems so right.

Posted by: Bou at November 2, 2005 09:40 PM

Your entry is food for thought. Although I've only been blogging since May, I find myself needing to refocus once in a while. I need to think about my original, true purpose of starting my blog and not get stressed out about other things like people making or not making comments on my posts, being tagged, and participating in carnvial of kids or recipes. So as my co-workers would say, "You go, girl!" (I'll still be checking out your Web site.)

Posted by: PrimoDonna at November 3, 2005 08:30 AM

I like movements. It's rather painful when you DON'T have movement, isn't it? I always forget if the prune juice is supposed to help you move, or stop you from moving too much...

Posted by: Ogre at November 3, 2005 05:20 PM

Why all this sudden need for everyone to stop blogging?

I am going to start to feel lonely out here.

Posted by: Machelle at November 4, 2005 08:27 AM

I know that feeling, Sissy... I look forward to what you have to say, when there's something you feel like blogging about. :D

Posted by: songstress7 at November 4, 2005 11:13 PM

I should have read this post before I sent you an email earlier this morning. This post answers my question!!!!

Woo hooo!!!!!

Posted by: Amy at November 7, 2005 08:21 PM