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December 18, 2005

Christmas Lights

Warning: This post may be offensive to those that have not read my unpublished book on the law of Christmas Lights.

So I have this weird thing with Christmas Lights....I can't help it. I hate that people put up half ass lights. Bugs the hell out of me. So I have a few rules:

  • Blue, purple and orange are not Christmas colors. Please do not put up ONLY blue lights. They are ugly, tacky and are not appealing.

  • Pick one - multi-colored or white. Do not mix and match - especially on the house! Some people can get away with this if there is a purpose to using both. But do not use both just because you ran out of one type.

  • On that note, if you are going to use both types, do not alternate the different strands on the house.

  • Pick a size! Small bulbs, big bulbs, I don't care....but don't mix!

  • Invest in the .94 packs of clips that help make lights straight on your house. No crooked lights! They must be straight and even! And just because you are using icicle lights, does not mean they do not have to be straight....

  • Blink or don't blink! I don't care which, but pick one. A house with fast blinking, slow blinking and solid lights looks ghetto!

  • Single red lights only makes your house look like a brothel. I would recommend considering adding something unless you want random men knocking on your door.

    I have more....but I'm considering trying to post pictures of examples. We'll see what I can do.

    And it just so happens I know where to start....the house across the street from us has.....blue....lights....only.

    Posted by Sissy at December 18, 2005 01:19 AM | TrackBack
    • Comments

    hahahahaha. I'll have to make sure you don't stop by my house next year. ;-) vw bug

    Posted by: at December 19, 2005 10:18 AM

    Ain't you ever heard "Blue Christmas?" Blue light specials at K-Mort? Blue is a very Christmas color.

    Purple... no. You've got a very good point there.

    Orange? Now you're being silly again. Orange is symbolic of the hollowed out pumpkin that the baby Jesus had to sleep in.

    Your Christmas spirit is a bit lacking... just sayin. :)

    Posted by: That 1 Guy at December 19, 2005 12:46 PM

    T1G I thought it was a hollowed out watermelon he slept in, thus the Green and Red.

    Posted by: phin at December 19, 2005 04:55 PM

    Hahaha! I should take some pictures of houses here in TLTTF - you would be horrified :)They are really into the huge blow up snowmen in the front yard - man I wish I had a bb-gun.

    Posted by: Napster at December 19, 2005 05:24 PM

    Ah, yes... you've got it, Phin. All I could remember is that he was raised on the vine, and then fermented after so many days. Or perhaps years.

    Posted by: That 1 Guy at December 20, 2005 01:17 AM

    We gotcha covered here! White lights only on the house. Multi-colored on bushes. Red lights on desiduous trees and green on palm trees. And I have one of those lit up reindeer and I plucked out the lights at the eyes and made them blue and I changed the nose lights to red.

    We are very coordinated in our home... No brothel house here! Just lots o'lots o' light.

    Posted by: Bou at December 20, 2005 03:37 PM