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June 24, 2005

What I'm Looking For....EVENTUALLY!!!

I wrote about What I'm Looking For and wanted to clarify.

I am in absolutely no rush to find this person. And there's a reason for that.

I found this person 5 years ago this 4th of July weekend. I was working two jobs and going to school. He was a Marine of course. But what I wrote in that post is what I felt for him.

If I would have been just a little bit stupider, I would have stuck it through and probably ended up marrying this guy. (After he got divorced of course. I had no idea while we were together, he was married)

And if I would have married him, I wouldn't be where I am today. Of course, that's a given! But I mean personally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I like who I am now a hell of a lot better than who I was then.

I'm not done with myself yet. I still have things I want to learn, things I want to better about myself, things I want to do before I dedicate myself to someone.

By writing that, I was reminding myself of a couple of things. One, not to settle! I know what I want and what will make me happy, and that is what I will find. And if for some odd reason I don't find that, I've spent this time learning to enjoy being with myself (shush Harvey!) and I'm ok with that too!

Second, to ground myself. To remind myself that it isn't money, belongings, and status that are going to make me happy. Not just a man's, but my own. I can get caught up in my status at work, how much money I'm making, what's the next thing I can by. But by reminding myself of what truly makes me happy with another person, I can ground myself to find happiness in other things.

My blog has turned from just posting on crazy, wacky things that happen, to a window into my own self discovery. It's like watching your child have growth spurts. But even better, it helps me sit down and confront these new discoveries and make sure I learn from things that have happened and celebrate the small milestones.

Posted by Sissy at June 24, 2005 03:44 PM

"I've spent this time learning to enjoy being with myself"

Don't shush me, little lady. There's nothing wrong with a little "self-joy" now & then :-P

Posted by: Harvey at June 24, 2005 01:17 PM

When I actually get around to posting on my blog, I see it as you see yours.

One thing (I) have to remember if I ever star dating again, is that I have to be happy with myself before I try to add someone else to the mix. Food for thought.

Posted by: littlejoe at June 28, 2005 04:12 AM